Some people say I am weird, but I am just different!
When a person on the Autism Spectrum is a Visual Thinker like myself, it is hard to follow someone talking to us trying to give verbal instructions. Every one on the Autism Spectrum is different and by being different, we view the world differently. Our strengths in whatever was given to us makes us wonderful, but our weaknesses may seem like we need to work on stuff. We all need to work on stuff to be better. The Neurotypical paradigm and the Autistic paradigm are two different parts of the world. One is more accepted than the other which is why people on the Autism Spectrum are trying to be more Neurotypical.
I feel any one has to be comfortable within their own skin and at the same time conform to society’s standards. Society is based on Human beings, but there are many different types of Human beings. Neurotypicals can make eye contact easily and everything flows easily with their communication.
Visual thinking is not just about learning things by seeing them, but by only seeing in our minds a visual image of how others would say something verbally. Communicating words are difficult for me which is why I have trouble telling a story of what happened on a particular day. Every one communicates differently and has different strengths and weaknesses. We need to build on our strengths and work on our weaknesses.
I really enjoyed watching ‘Temple Grandin’ starring Claire Danes! It was really a remarkable film. It showed one part of the Autism Spectrum, but there are many more parts to the whole Autism Spectrum.
posting again soon,
OUT, J
Good Vs. Evil
OUT, J
Don’t be afraid of who you are!
My life is meant to succeed and any life is meant to succeed. I am in this run with everyone else and even though it may seem like a slow steady run, it is a run to the finish. The others who ran faster are panting and tired out, never finishing the race. As I pass one person to the next, I think to myself the very nature of my goal. I know a lot of people who try to propel themselves in to the spotlight because they feel they are special. No body is more special than the next. We need to discover who we are and wait our turn. The ones who cut in line are the ones who don’t make any sacrifices and eventually fade away. The respect any body gets is deserved when you do something with hard work with what you like to do to get to the top. Many people say special is what special does, well, it is true. Sounds like something Yogi Berra might say.
The past few weeks I have had a fun and crazy time. The fun part made me realize my gifts in this life, but the crazy parts gave me a sense of reality. The reality of discovering who cares about me and who are phony. I know what I like to do and I want to do more with what I like to do. Sometimes you have to move on forward to do more in your life. Sometimes things are just not meant to be and sometimes they are very truly meant to be. Together the rich sweet areas of your life (and mine) need to be in control. We need to control our own destiny to fulfill our lives.
If you can fulfill your life, you can become whoever you intend to be. If you believe something for yourself, do it. If you want to challenge someone even an authority figure because you believe they are doing something wrong, do it. It is always good to question someone who you feel is doing something wrong (against the laws of the government and/or against the laws of ethics).
Don’t be afraid to be who you are! People have been afraid all too often in the past.
posting again soon,
OUT, J
Favorite Echocardiographic View and soon more of my Favorite Ultrasonographic Views
My favorite Echocardiographic View: (here is for people who want to know …) Can you guess why it is my Fave?
Coming up later, more about Venous Reflux…
posting soon enough,
OUT, J
Thinking of what contributions we can give
There are many people in the world who do not feel good about themselves. Every one expresses it differently. Some people decide to brag about everything keeping everything for themselves, some people become depressed, and other people don’t know what to do with themselves.
Feeling good about yourself is very important. You must first find your joy to feel good about yourself. This may take time to find yourself because it can be a painful process. Once you find your inner self, you can walk with true pride. It is important to have a strong ego, but not overinflated.
The contributions of the day is to teach one positive thing you know that your friend does not know. You just might not realize the results you get.
People tell me a pearl of wisdom stays with us forever.
Have a wonderful week!
OUT, J
Support Haitians in need by volunteering your time or giving whatever you can
Support Haitians in need by volunteering your time. If you are in the medical field, speak creole, and can contribute to the support given to Haitians now, do it! Many people are suffering now from a devastating earthquake in Haiti. The world is changing in many forms now and we need to support each other. If an earthquake happened over there, it can happen anywhere.Do not forget about the Ramapo fault line running around New York, New Jersey,and Pennsylvania. It could happen over here too. If you help out other people in their time of need, they will help you in your time of need too. I am sure there are things you can give to help even if you feel you don’t have much to give.
Think wisely with your heart,
OUT, J
An Unknown Face
By J.S.R.
Walking in to the dark fog
in to the city road,
I watch the lights go down
and curfew begins.
my footsteps begin
to step louder as
the last person goes to sleep.
the dense fog becomes thicker
and colder.
I reach the edge of the city,
watching the water pound
on the land.
A storm is brewing,
and a boat is seen
in the distance
trying to survive the
rough waters.
I walk down the path
a little bit further
when I notice the boat
had disappeared.
I walk further down the path
and it begins to hail with nine inch
rocks hitting me on my shoulder.
I see a shack for shelter
rushing to get inside.
Once I get inside the shack,
I notice it feels more like
an ancient temple which
seems to be around for centuries.
I read an encryption on the
wall which reads:
Welcome
Underneath in small letters
reads native american
figures.
I don’t know what it reads,
but a door suddenly creaks
open.
I walk inside while lights surprisingly
turn on from flames of fire.
All I see is a chair in front
of the fire with a blue mat
underneath.
I slowly walk closer to the
chair when I hear, “Stop!”
I suddenly freeze my whole
body.
I feel a tickle on my nose and
shoulder, but I won’t move my body.
A figure stands up, turns around,
and the lights become brighter
surrounding the figure.
I turn my head slightly to the right
when I begin to see a woman in a white dress
dancing on the floor.
I turn around and go through the door.
I go to leave the shack when I see
a note on the wall:
Goodbye and thank you for coming
I leave the shack while the sun shines
bright in the day sky.
I see many people dancing and playing in the
park with their music blasting.
I walk over to the water watching a boat
reemerge in the distance, the same boat
I saw during the night.
The water seems as calm as a hummingbird singing,
when I notice a duck pecking on my feet.
The duck leaves a note on my shoe
reading:
“I love you”
i see a figure fly away with the winds in to
the bright sunny sky not noticing a face.
(posting again soon,)
OUT, J
Free Vein Screening where I work on February 4
I feel there is a reason why I am where I am right now. I work for a Interventional Cardiologist who I have been working for nearly 4 years. If you want to find out more about his practice and what he does, check out Dr. Adam Y. Goldman on the internet.
All of you who saw the This Emotional Life series were probably wondering who Dr. Goldman was when I mentioned his name on the show, I figured I just tell every body more about him.
He and I work together to help patients with whatever cardiac or vascular disease they may have. We work together as a team to make patients feel better. After I perform the scanning, we work together to formulate a diagnosis for every patient. From my scans, he diagnoses patients. Many patients like coming to see us because of the high quality patient care we give them.
On Thursday evening February 4, we will be having a Free Vein Screening at the office in Yonkers, New York to see whether people have Superficial Venous Reflux of the lower extremities which would require some kind of intervention. You can read about varicose veins and the problems it can cause on DMC archive when you search for varicose veins. You can contact the office I work at from Dr. Goldman’s website for more information. If you live anywhere in New York, drop by next month. If you just want to see me at work that night, you can stop by to see me scanning in action to cheer me on.
So, come on!! If you have varicose veins and problems with your legs, check out my boss’ site, and stop by the office in Yonkers on February 4.
Anyway, I hope every one who needs a scan of their legs can make it that day or you can just cheer me on…
posting soon enough,
OUT, J
Looking back at last week, moving forward …
Moving forward this week, I think about how to let things flow to see what happens next…
I had a good weekend, just focusing on the important topics for this week. There is much needed improvements to be made to myself and I will finally be attending socials skills on Tuesday after a long absence.
DMC will have some much needed newer posts for every one to read. Very insightful, informative, and creative writings as always.
I will try and figure out how to scan in my drawings for every one to see my artwork. Also, new pictures from Chloe the Maltese Dog as well coming tonight!
As for now, Have A Wonderful Week!
could this be…? Check this out:
OUT, J
Thank you every one for all your support, emails, and comments
It is incredible when I read a lot of the posts now. I promise to reply to every single comment and email I received from DMC, so please be patient. There are many words to express my deepest feelings for how all of you wrote to me.
Opportunity is always knocking on our door and we need to seize the opportunity we seem to get.
I will be posting more posts every day especially my newest fiction based story Gregarious Revolution. I hope many people enjoy the new posts as much as they enjoy all the older posts.
Thank you all again for enjoying my section of This Emotional Life episode 1 and enjoying the whole series on PBS!
All of you are wonderful! G-d bless all of us…
posting again soon,
OUT, J
Thoughts on experiences in life and being filmed for a good cause
My phone barely had a charge on it, and she was sitting right next to the area where I can plug in my phone with the charger. She asked me if I wanted to charge up my phone and I told her I needed to charge it up. She plugged in my charger as I held my phone in my hand, but assured me to leave it on the table. She guarded it for me with her life. I had an immediate feeling my life was going to change from this point on.
For a good 2 minutes we had said nothing more. After a few minutes more, I was observing her bags she had all around her and a book she was reading on ‘Miracles’. She was carrying around a lot stuff in her bags including instruments in which she told me she plays here every so often at particular times even though I never heard her play any of her instruments.
I started a conversation with this woman by first asking her what she was reading. She explained to me it was a book given to her as a gift by someone who appeared and then disappeared. We started talking about lots of different things, but I noticed she seemed a bit depressed. She had told me she was a psychic who had not been able to do much of anything lately not even be the medium she is intended to be. She was trained by the celebrity psychic John Edward. I can’t remember her name though.
An hour passed and my train left, but we were having a nice conversation about life, so I waited for the next train. As the next hour passed, she begins to reveal certain things about myself and my family. She tells me I am an Angel and I have helped her discover her psychic abilities once again. She began reading some of the spirits surrounding me. Like my late grandma’s mother-in-law Sophia, my middle name Scott is named for her. She told me Sophia was wishing me a happy birthday 2 months before my birthday because that is what the spirits do. I had given her inspiration and she began feeling a lot better and happier. Every time she said something right, she slapped my hand five.
I had spoken to her for over 3 hours at Starbucks when I told her I really had to get back to Tarrytown to my car to drive to Rockland. She said it was a great honor to speak to me and this was an arranged meeting, but soon we shall meet again some other times in the future. I asked her when we will meet again, but she told me only G-d knows when and to take this for what it’s worth. As I left and started walking to my train, she rushed over, startled me, and began telling me one more thing which was very weird at the time. She had told me first something big yet small was going to happen to me in the fall/winter where I would require having surgery…
All of a sudden starting Monday I saw my friend Leticia from Puerto Rico at work again who taught me Echo. On Thursday, I had my poetry reading at the JCC Manhattan which went well. On Friday, I get a call from ABC NEWS the next day about the On Call Plus Autism site. A month later, ABC NEWS comes to my work place to initiate the pictures of me at work and to do a verbal interview with me. My boss had no problem allowing media to come in because like a lot of people tell me he likes me a lot. At the end of the month of May, I am accepted in to the Autism Hub. In mid June, I get a call from my therapist about whether or not I would want to be filmed for an upcoming PBS special from NOVA. I instantly said I would because I wanted to help society in whatever way I can. He told me he asked me because I am one of the successful people with Asperger Syndrome who is working in a mainstream job. I started piecing together my true nature.
Many things began to happen which I could not believe. First, the producer Alexis called me up to make an appointment to meet with me. We decided to meet on a Wednesday when I am in Inwood where my work is. I waited by the A train for Alexis to finally meet with me after we had spoken on the phone. I had gotten a bite to eat at Pizza Haven off 207 street next to Dunkin Donuts when she finally came out of the A train. I saw Alexis, introduced myself, and we began walking toward Inwood Park to chat about the project. We met for over 3 hours where she told me everything about the NOVA project. I opened up about my life to her about Asperger Syndrome, Autism, and many other things. As we were talking in Inwood Park, it began to rain so we moved to the lobby of the office I work in on 207 and Broadway continuing our talk. (207 and Broadway is next door to the Dykman Farmhouse Museum) After we spoke, she walked me back to my car and told me we would be in touch.
A few days later, she had spoken to my mom already and the team at NOVA decided to choose to film me. It was extraordinary opportunity for me to become an asset to the world and help other people on the Autism Spectrum. In addition, it really in many ways helped out my family as well become closer and to build more positive experiences in our lives.
The filming began in August, after Alexis met with my mother and I at home in July. It was a flash of genius upon G-d to make this all happen. The filming felt good and I felt the special qualities inside me were finally coming out to show the world. I spoke for what it seemed endless. I met practically her whole team especially Jesse and Kyle. I was talking to the whole team in between filming about different things in life and about the film industry. One person I really seemed to like to talk to was Eddie who was one of the camera crew. He and I spoke about the French new wave movie Rififi.
The NOVA crew even came to my work to film me there as well. Every one at work including my boss didn’t know what to expect, but seemed to be curious. I hope it made my work environment understand more about Autism and Aspergers especially since ABC NEWS came in to the office in May. My boss was very cooperative and allowed PBS to come in to the office in September 2008. They filmed me with many other situations as well and every body will see it Monday night.
I had not thought of the psychic since I met her in April and when I got on the train back to Tarrytown that day, I just forgot about her until October 2008. In October 2008, I had a surge of panic because my arm became numb, my back began hurting me, and I began feeling very cold as if it were freezing in the dead night of the north pole. I sensed a spiritual feeling every time I stood still, so I kept on moving my body, and eventually stayed in my room. That night became a night of hell for me. My blood pressure rose well above 200/170 which is when I took my blood pressure to see why I was feeling out of sorts. During the night I had not complained about it, whined, or said anything about how I was feeling in my body. I lied on my bed wondering when it will all be over. I was up until 5:46 AM when I finally slept and hour and a half.
I felt very weird during the night when my blood pressure was extremely high and didn’t know what was happening if I was having a spiritual moment (because at that point I started to remember the psychic) or if I was just panicking about something. My breathing was very shallow and I felt very cold in a hot room. I felt like I was in the North Pole where it was below freezing. At that point it was October and only about 55 degrees at night. I couldn’t talk, scream, or push anything. I felt paralyzed the whole night. I also noticed a bright white light outside my window. I remember just before I felt paralyzed, I turned over and cried in my pillow wishing every one I ever knew a good life. I felt like I was dying. I noticed my arms crossing over my chest as if I was ready to die, but then my arms began to cross over my stomach instead. When I finally fell asleep, I felt good.
When I woke up after a rough night, I told my parents who immediately told me to call my cardiologist who could not be reached at the time, so I called the cardiologist I work for on his cell phone. He instantly picked up right away and told me to go to the ER. I wound up going to Columbia Presbyterian Emergency room as my parents drove me there. See, Rockland County hospitals are not the greatest hospitals and my family always had bad experiences in Rockland hospitals. I have seen a cardiologist at Columbia since 1999 when I found out from a Neurologist in Mount Kisco about a murmur he heard which wound up being an Aneurysm near my heart.
Columbia ER was surprisingly empty for the morning and the nurses took me in right away. I was there the whole day because they assessed me, took blood, an X-ray, and had me have a CT with Contrast of my whole Aorta to rule out dissection of the Aorta. At night time in the ER, the CT results came back and they said my Aorta was fine. The doctors told me to chill out.
The next day at work I get a call back from my doctors at Columbia telling me on the phone, they need for me to come in for more tests. They had found a mass and cysts on my pancreas. At first, they said it was nothing to worry about. Like any body would do, they begin to worry, and I began to worry. My life began to turn upside down. I knew I was getting filmed with PBS NOVA and the ABC Autism site was coming out shortly (Just after President Obama got elected), but I was scared. Adaptations was going through a rough time period so I counted on speaking to my therapist instead.
I had gotten multiple Endoscopy-Ultrasounds at Columbia to get it right because the first 2 times Columbia doctors didn’t get it right. The final time I had the E-US, they were finally very thorough because Dr. John Allendorf the general surgeon to help me ordered the test again. I waited a month later, when Dr. Allendorf from the Pancreas Center at Columbia performed my surgery on December 30, 2008.
In the midst of all of this medical stuff in my life, PBS NOVA crew kept on telling me how wonderful I was doing on film. They said I was like a natural. I told them it must have been because I was in a Drama therapy group on Sundays at Adaptations. They just thought I was a natural to do this anyway and had nothing to do with drama therapy.
A year ago today, I was in the hospital still recuperating, but every one told me I was doing great. Some people who came to see me thought they were going to see a train wreck, but instead saw a miracle. I had gotten many gifts and cards from friends and family as well as support from the NOVA team.
When the ABC site came up in November 2008, I felt it was the beginning, but I knew something more is going to happen for me. I needed to help the world; my family, I, and every one else. I needed the world to sense that I am a good person and by proving this I feel I helped a struggling psychic regain her strength to give insight to others. She was the catalyst who proved my inner nature to inspire people.
G-d created my innermost self to this world because the world needs heroes. I don’t really consider myself a hero, but I do consider myself lucky. Although heroes are needed in this world now especially the fact every body is feeling down and negative because of the economy. We need to stop all of this negativity NOW! Every body needs to find their calling from inspiration.
The filming became clear what I was meant to do. I needed to make my part in the show clearly a positive unique heroic vision. I am here to prove to the world, with concentration, dedication, and much needed help, a person on the Autism Spectrum can succeed.
The last part of the filming was just before the summer of 2009 where they filmed me alone with my mother. Once the summer passed by, many people were very sad by dark negative things happening in the world. Things just so happen to come around just in the nick of time to help us out.
My experience with the filming of this latest project called This Emotional Life has been historic. It has also been a crazy journey since I met the psychic. In February, I serendipitously saw the psychic again who happened to thank me because she had been a medium for a lot of other different people who have been coming up to her for help since she met me. She was praying to see me again just to thank me. I happened to have been with my friend Manny that day, but just as he left, she again told me I am an Angel. I took it as if I am just a very good person willing to help. I believe my life will continue to shine even brighter than it ever has since the day I met her.
The psychic paints a lot on her trench coat and bags. Last time I saw her in February, she showed me her picture from the Sunday Styles section of the New York Times in Bryant Park which she kept in her bag. She considered me a good friend and I appreciated it. She even took a picture of me with her phone just so she can remember what I look like. It is a friendship I developed because I saw a good person who needed help. She felt I was an inspiration to her.
I realized another gift I have when I met with her afterward. It can help me realize someone’s emotions without noticing body language or facial expressions which I can not read. It is much deeper technique, but I noticed it only occurs when I feel relaxed. Every thing seems to happen for a reason… It seems like people are always right when they tell me to let things happen serendipitously and live each day to the fullest!
The PBS special This Emotional Life comes out on January 4 at 9pm on PBS and PBS HD. I hope a lot of people get to see this show in its entirety not just my part on January 4, but also on January 5 and 6 at 9pm.
Thank you every body for reading and supporting Drivemomcrazy.com (DMC). I am very grateful for the many gifts I have to be able to help a struggling psychic who became a friend, the gifts given to me at birth and throughout my life.
I know I truly am a Blessed Celebration.
posting soon enough and be sure to check out the show in its entirety since as it will help you in more ways than one.
Coincidences happen for a reason because they truly are God WINKS!!!
posting soon enough the fiction story Gregarious Revolution! To my loving family, we will have a great year!
OUT, J
New Year’s Resolutions are good and we need to keep them
Meditate whenever I feel I need to 9) continue to write every day good quality positive posts (fiction, poetry, prose, pictures, other posts, …) for DMC building up a great site for a good cause 10) Continue to learn from others 11) also, to be even more patient than I am
…
New Year’s resolutions are important for us to start a brand new beginning for our life. I feel this year every body will keep their resolutions for the new year.
2010 HERE I AM and here we are ready for whatever life gives us!
new posts coming soon,
OUT, J
The New Year 2010 is upon us now after a long 2009
Our emotions tend to get the better of us and especially during this previous decade. We should start to feel our self fulfillment and pride rather than looking over our shoulders to the next person. Once we look at our self, we begin to erase the word Jealousy and Envy from our existence. We all have something to contribute to this world which we can create or invent.
Time for countdown now as we are drawing closer to 2010…
As I write this next sentence it is 11:50 and ten minutes to 2010!
Things will be better because I feel people will little by little stop and think about being positive. They will stop to think about how not to be jealous or envious of another, by starting to live.
It really should not matter what you want out of your life because you make your life. Your life can be a roller coaster ride of adventure in emotions or it can be striving to get what you want without looking at other people.
I know it is very hard to do this, but we must all try!!
It is nearly 6 minutes right till the ball drops in Time Square, NY for 2010 to start and a new decade upon us.
Please fulfill yourself and remember not to look at anyone else, but yourself. Jealousy leads to many things and many ways to hurt someone else who succeed with hard work.
4 minutes to go… OMG, here it comes…
I will write something as 12:00 comes up again.
Gregarious Revolution fiction story is continuing so be patient as it comes up soon on this site!
Please 3 minutes to go…
2 minutes to go….
alright I guess I will be posting this soon enough…
see you soon and blogging again soon.
OUT, J
The Day before New Year’s Eve
Be Prepared for 2010!
situate yourself in to your life to make all things possible.
gotta get going,
posting later on…
OUT, J
Drive Mom Crazy!
Expressing Myself In More Ways than One.
A Blog by Jason Ross
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