Tag Archives: disability community

Accepting Changes in Our Life can be HARD, Let’s do it anyway!

I know that just because someone may be a very conservative or liberal or moderate, does not mean we can not have good communication with them. It really makes life more fun and interesting when we can talk to anyone regardless of how they are and differences they believe in. That’s part of neurodiversity. That’s acceptance and that’s a part of life. We need to accept everyone, everyone’s belief systems, everyone’s identities they have and what they choose for themselves, and accepting everyone’s self-determination of how they want to live their life.

It’s okay for someone to believe in the social model or the medical model, however, we can not tell a person how to live their life since that is not satisfying the requirements of being an individual. Individuality is important as we can not judge any one who decides on either model, on a particular identity, and/or a particular way they choose to live. We can not get angry, we can not get defensive, and we can not say we can not talk to any one who does not agree with us. We have to talk to people, because that is what neurodiversity is all about.

Neurodiversity activists and organizations are not really being very good activists as well as organizations like medical charity researchers and activists too who are also not being open with each other either. However, we all have to engage with each other without being stubborn, without being too hurtful, without being damned if we do or damned if we don’t, and carry on the wayward road moving forward. We need breakthrough with communication barriers that’s been going on for centuries even milleniums.

It does not matter if we disagree or agree. It does not matter if we agree or disagree with our President, agree or disagree with different philosophies or not, and even agree or disagree with the government we belong to or not. We have a government because that is what Americans (and humanity wanted all along) wanted back in 1700’s, so we need to accept that and move on as I hear how so many people seem distracted from their own belief systems and opinions. Our government is not perfect, but no one, thing, or situation is perfect either.

We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people in our community which means we can not escape the interactions with people or situations every moment of every day. We can only thrive at using our communications as going with the flow without trying to be perfect. It overwhelms us to pretend perfectionism exists, but the more we stop trying the more we become perfect. Though, as I said perfectionism does not exist, it exists once we forget that it does exist. Remember nothing is impossible, we all are possible all the time.

While let alone, we can not escape stigmas, stereotypes, and the way other people think too as I talk to someone in the community about this who feels the same way. Sarcasm is hard for many to deal with especially myself who is Autistic, however, sarcasm is something that is supposed to be humor, sometimes dark, sometimes light, but sarcasm indeed. It’s okay not to get or be attuned with sarcasm right away because not everyone understands it. Although sarcasm is just a way of life for some people and part of neurodiversity too.

Neurodiversity is also partly that some people are developmentally delayed in various different ways. Some people don’t go through the different stages of adolescence at the same time as everyone else is supposed to from the way mainstream culture says so. However, we need to realize that everyone is different, everyone is able, and everyone can do whatever it takes to live their life constructively. By living constructively, no one can feel pitied, put down, hurt, stigmatized, stereotyped, and/or feel pain from others.

Neurodiversity can flourish by not allowing ourselves to do this to other people and be open to other people’s perspectives. No one can do things on their own because everyone needs a group to do it together. No organization is perfect either that helps Disabled people in the whole broader disability community including in Autistic culture to help Autistic people. However, we all need to learn together and encourage each other to love every one of our good points so we can cancel out the negatives of everyone we meet. This is how neurodiversity can flourish. So, accept changes and be the community of sharing and caring. Be a good role model for others and others will do good for you.

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Please like and share Autistic Community for Equality Facebook page as this is an initiative that can further grow acceptance, forgiveness, and being less judgmental among each other in the world. The initiative is in it’s infant stage, but we can thrive a lot more as it becomes a bigger part of humanity and the rest of the world. Animals help us thrive too, and we need to realize that we can’t define any one as a friend or an enemy as the people that we are, are constantly learning and building our own way of life. We can not hate, we can only love the incredible people in our communities.

Please check out this website too, AASPIRE (Academic Autistic Spectrum Partnership In Research and Education) which medical charity organizations can learn from as they continue move forward too.

Thank you and please understand the things we all need to do to be an community sharing, loving, and caring for one another. So, reach out and talk to any one you want to talk to. Don’t worry about disagreeing, don’t be stubborn, and think about how we can all be strong together as part of the Animal Kingdom subset called being Human. Everyone needs to open the door toward our successful communications with each other, besides communications is key.

Listen to this song Des’ree “You Gotta Be”:

“You Gotta Be” by Des’ree

Listen as your day unfolds, challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears, stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Reading the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view, my oh my, heh, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Don’t ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can’t stop it, if you try to
This time it’s danger staring you in the face

Remember, listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears, my oh my heh, hey, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


OUT, J

Know your Voice, Know your Identities, Know your supports, and Live a Self-Determined Life

An Open Letter to the many primary and secondary educators as well as the many professionals who try to create tokens to Autistic and other Disabled people who they don’t give proper education to own their identities and opinions,

It’s important to create a better way for the Autistic/Disabled children and adolescents of the future adults of the Disability community and the broader community in the world. It’s important as well to create a system where the adults in the Disability community today finally know their voice and their identities count too. People need to develop their own self without any one especially Non-Autistic/Non-Disabled people influencing them that they can’t do much in society. This leads to many of the children eventually living in group homes like many of the Autistic/Disabled adult peers who struggled with the teachers in the school system as well growing up without a chance to learn.

School is an important project for every child growing up. No one should be denied a proper education because many teachers don’t want to develop more patience and spend more time with their students to get them through 12 years of schooling and go to college. When I watch the amount of people entering into the caretaker world for Autistic/Disabled adults I noticed many of the Non-disabled people who work with them even some parents, don’t preserve self-determination. Sadly, I start realizing how the whole primary and secondary education system pretty much sucks in the United States. I am not just talking about the public schools, but the fact that these children are also going to Residential Treatment program schools as well that really are segregative and do suck!! It’s not even just the Disability community which is denied proper education, but many other cultures of people too who don’t get the education they need. This all leads to mental health issues and addiction.

Many educators seem to only care about the most gifted people who are usually non-Disabled or non-Autistic people to finish high school and go to college. It’s only if any student becomes a good advocate for themselves during public high school that they actually do succeed to lead their own life through college eventually earning a decent living. Instead many Autistic/Disabled people wind up going to Adult day hab centers and group homes because society gave up on them. It is a very sad situation that many of these educators and other professionals do not help my many young peers in the Autistic/Disability community to learn responsibility in order to live a self-determined life.

When these people eventually do go to group homes, day hab, and even work in sheltered workshops earning a dollar an hour in some cases, they are treated like children, and act out like children, always acting out negatively. They are considered to be ‘behavior problems’ in society because no one taught them any better about responsibilities while attending their school years from kindergarten through 12th grade. And yet, most of these people have sensory meltdowns too that were always misunderstood as tantrums instead.

Society graduated many of these people with a IEP diploma which just states that they attended school without earning grades. Moreover, these people are told to learn social skills in adult classes when these types of skills should have been taught in public elementary school with the Non-disabled students. Most of these people can’t read or do not even know what it means to understand what they read, to write an essay, to do simple math, to sign their name, or to even know how they want to represent themselves in society.

Our society created a system where Non-Autistic/Non-Disabled people will speak for many of them in the Disability community no matter what the situation entails including telling the world how they should be identified as. Many of these students in the Disability community are never given real choices because many people do not want them to be educated in school and earn a decent wage that can allow them to have independence too. Their education is pushed away from them while they are pushed to agency businesses to take care of them for the rest of their lives. Yes, many of us in the Disability community do need supports, and sometimes agencies help with these supports, but the supports should be given to us as an accommodation to live a self-determined life. We live in an Interdependent world, none of us are totally independent.

There are some people, but not many who’ve been considered lucky to not let this happen to them. However, luck was more of a determination to advocate for ourselves including some non-verbal self-advocates who fought for their rights for supports and independence. Many reached out and others continue to reach out to advocate against a system that society really pushes many Autistic and other Disabled people into: not having their own voice and identities. It’s important to always educate, teach self-advocacy, teach social skills, and teach that it’s okay to identify ourselves the way any one wants to throughout school and adulthood. Most importantly, it’s important to teach social skills in elementary school as well as teaching sexuality and gender identities to everyone no matter if the student is disabled or not. Society is so afraid of teaching any one who is not the so-called normal person in society.

We are all gifted, we can all live our life the way we want and need to, and we can all learn to be responsible self-determined adults with the supports we need along the way. Society needs to accommodate the Disability community with the many sensory and physical things that we need to be accommodated for so that we can live our life like any other person can. In the professional world, Social Workers read in their code of ethics about self-determination all the time, but many Social Workers do not practice this code of ethics unless it is to get a Autistic/Disabled person to obtain their benefits from society as a whole. Benefits are good and are needed for us including myself, but self-determination must always be preserved too. There needs to be balance between the benefits the Disability community receives or will receive, and self-determination.

When society sees a person like myself advocating for myself and working toward my goals of self-determination, they only want to create a token so that this person will speak like Non-Disabled people yet will still be considered Disabled by society. If society wants to really listen to the Disability community, they will need to allow us to speak our minds the way we feel and want to represent ourselves with our identities. It is unfair for the Disability community and most importantly it is an unfair education system for the many people who have been and are in the elementary and secondary school systems. It’s probably why bullying persists in our schools. Society needs to change. Society needs to create an education system where everyone has a chance to live a decent life and learn the responsibilities to live our lives eventually with wages that aren’t sub-minimum.

Don’t wait until they become adults because then it may already be too late! Please do all you can to educate everyone no matter who they are. We need to make the United States better than it is right now. For those educators who have begun this already, I say thank you to you, but help me create any teacher in every school to maintain any student to live their adult life with supports and self-determination.

A few people have tried to make me a token in the past, but it’s important to fight for our own voice to be heard not to be a token. I teach self-advocacy at a part time job, and will continue to teach these basic self-advocacy skills so everyone eventually will know their voice, their own opinions, and their own identities which will always be cherished.

Thank you for reading and hope everyone understands what I say!

OUT, J

The Disability community needs services to ensure success in life

Either we have services or we don’t have services, but what happens when we do or don’t have services…

It’s a CATCH-22!

Needing services and using the services:

1) Not having your own voice
2) Having your needs always met as a dependent for life
3) Being pitied with despair
4) Not having your own way of doing things accomplished with self-determination
5) Always being spoken to as a child

Not having/using services:

1) Being told you have to do everything on your own
2) Not having certain minimal services you need
3) Being told you don’t have a disability or you are not Autistic, etc.
4) struggling keeping up with everyday life skills
5) being told you are so-called ‘normal’ or just like everyone else

Either way it is a struggle for a Disabled person to live their life needing or not needing services. So, when is society going to understand disability? Society needs to give people who need the services the necessary things to ensure self-determination for success. Services are very important for my peers and I.

The social model of disability goes unnoticed because many people in the world look at the medical model as the key component in helping the disability community. Yet, the medical model of disability does not allow others to work with self-determination because medical professionals treat the disability rather than the person. They try behaviorist methods and medicine without having the person work on their own terms toward success. Society seems to not expect a Disabled person to live the way a Able person or Non-Disabled person can.

Every one has every right to be involved in their treatment plans whether they have a documented disability or not. Everybody has their own mind, their own body, and their own soul which gives them the strength to live their life. Many times due to many of society’s many people who we interact with, have dealt with abuses, neglect, and/or bullying which hurt self-esteem. In my opinion, this could be the reason why the medical model is continuously used to treat the disorder/disability rather than the person. The medical model also adapted thinking where everyone labels each other with something. This is called Eugenics.

Once society accepts disability, society will understand how to react to it and engage with those who have a disability much better.

Let’s start learning and finally accepting disability in Humanity!

OUT, J

Respecting and Recognizing Others is Important for Humanity

Identifying ourselves…

In order to identify ourselves, we have to remind ourselves what we do, where we came from, and who we are. The poll question on the side column of this website expresses just that. It has been asking you to figure out how you would want to identify yourself. Identity is important for our own Humanity and it is defined by diversity since we all identify ourselves differently. Identity is important!

Many able-bodied people try to define people with disabilities including Autistic people without the expressed consent from Disabled people themselves. This is unfair and does not express the meaning of someone’s life. Mostly, many people try to instill person first language on the disability community as well as pitying us to separate a part of who we are from our own humanity. Telling others how to identify themselves is not a right of any one to do to the disability community nor to any body else. It does not allow any one to identify themselves properly. Instead, it expresses the interest of eugenics to society like the Nazi’s did to many cultures in the 1930’s and early 1940’s.

Society is beginning to change, but we need more progress, a lot more progress. Society encourages eugenics as a means to decrease diversity. People don’t need this to be encouraged, but the mainstream media, corporations, and organizations like Autism Speaks does this all the time which influences the government who controls society. When are the majority of people going to understand that we have many different ways of identifying each other and that each label is a part of who we are? No one has a right to tell a person that they can not identify themselves in such a manner. Most people believe in the Medical Model of Disability which expresses to so many people that society needs to use person first language. However, to be able to truly identify yourself, you should be able to first accept everything about yourself including anything disability related.

No one should feel that their disability is seen as less than Human, after all we have many markers in our genetic make up which defines us as well as the fact that disability is a part of the human experience. There are many disabilities and mental health conditions that disable Humanity at any point in time, autism being one of many disabilities. It’s important to accept your own Humanity about what you can do and what you struggle doing on an everyday basis.

We identify not only ourselves, we also identify other people, animals, material things, and the environment we live in. We acquire different things in our life, but most importantly we always acquire different disabilities throughout our life. So, why does many people become ashamed of what makes them Human? Society has trouble comprehending and accepting every culture or religion that instills itself inside the world. We have different cultures and religions because everyone lives a certain way that creates their own unique way of life. No one has a right to tell any one that their own unique way of living and identifying themselves is wrong. People live in so many ways! In fact, if you watch the movie “Nell” with Jodie Foster and Liam Neeson from the late 1990’s, you’ll see an excellent portrayal of the fight to live your life the way you know how to and to be able to identify yourself.

The problem with society is that their is too much discourse and in a lot of times, violence, because the majority of people argue over what culture is better, who should be leading, and the amount of money people have trustfully earned for themselves to create a better society. Because of the discourse, people begin hurting each other or themselves. Accepting yourself and other people will create a better society where we begin living peacefully. By allowing everyone to live their life, we begin to embark on our quest to fulfill our missions without trying to take from others, without identifying other people with a different marker to identify themselves with, and/or without trying to hurt others including the youth who are the next generation. We need to start delivering a message that Humanity is a precious commodity and that we are all here for a reason. The children of today are our next generation for tomorrow, so we need to teach children that Humanity respects, accepts, does not hurt each other, and earn a living trustfully. No matter what, if we do it right, the children of today will create a better society where no one hurts, no one crosses another’s boundaries without permission, and everyone respects any one, otherwise society will not tolerate it!

Every culture is different which is why we have a whole world to live it in. No one can decide in the world to create a society in which diversity lacks. However, we have billions of people in this world who have a mission to live their life the way they know how to, and no one can make any one in this world feel like they are any less Human.

OUT, J

Transitional 2013 Creates a Fabulous Wondrous 2014!!

2013 was a year of many transitions in our diversified world all over. From the passing of Nelson Mandela to the passing of close personal peers either human or animal. 2013 was the year, Chloe the Maltese dog died. It was also the year I finally stood up for what I want to do and reach out into my nested niche which is just starting to grow. Though it is a constant battle to do what you love and without criticism from others who either pushing something else to do or criticizing in other ways. I have reached into my soul in 2013, to finally do what is necessary to make a difference in this world contributing in ways I know I can. It started many years ago, but I was blinded with wool not knowing what I can really do by having been pushed in a direction that kept me out of the direction I was intended for because of influence.

It’s a slow, long process, but I feel I am able to do it now. Life throws us curveballs, and if you try to swing at it, you can get yourself into a rut. I was trying to hit curveballs for the past 9 and a half years after I had graduated from college, and now I started to finally learn how to hit the ball. My voice is soaring along and I am learning day by day not to let others influence me anymore.

By doing so, the latest puppy in my life is Skyler the Maltese Dog who when I see her every day, gives me an example of remarkable tenacity to jump up to fulfill passion. I am earning respect from the community by starting to teach Self-Advocacy skills and empower the lives of the disability community I am so much a part of because I am Autistic. The Disability community needs to know that there are Disabled folks out there who can and will help the most struggling Disabled people around. If only organizations like Autism Speaks can notice that about Autistic adults who want to help!

Here is a picture of young Skyler (she is a white fluffy animal, long ears bending over, with her head tilted up) Skyler the Maltese Dog is a one in a million, out of the ordinary dog who brings the next phase of a better life:

IMG_0530

Transitions are hard, but transitions are also very good for us to experience in our lives, whether it’s a transition in our life or a transition to go beyond life once our body is time to perish. Changes in our lives glorify our being whether it’s a change in leadership within society, an organization, or within family. Sometimes the changes are good, but sometimes the changes take time to get used to. For instance, when someone dies, a new leadership steps up to the plate to take control. Transitions are hard, but once we are able to control it, it becomes beautiful.

Passing the torch to someone else is important many times over in our lives. As we pass the torch once, we pass it again over and over until the torch has ceased to shine no more or until we need to re-light the torch. Remembering the past is important, but not as important as moving forward with the lessons we learned from the past. Moving on and transitioning our lives every year encompasses our growth in our mind and spirit allowing us to lead our own lives. Life can be complicated especially when others’ influence us. Being who we are is a incredible idea we all should always incorporate every day we wake up. When you wake up tomorrow after a party from New Year’s Eve, remember what is necessary to live your life; love, connections, and emotions that give us the feelings we have all the time. Not to mention the passion and drive you feel inside to make a difference to contribute in this world. Never leave your passion for anything.

The time is now for my passion to thrive. Now is the time for my passion to exist. Now is the time to start teaching organizations like Autism Speaks what really matters, giving as many Autistic adults the chance to help our fellow Autistic peers young and old struggling more than ever. Now is the time for me and all my Autistic peers who are similar to me to help give our struggling peers a voice and that they matter too! No matter where you fall in Human diversity, remember how much you matter and how much you can give to the world too. (If you need someone to read this to you, just remember the last line I said)

Let’s begin 2014 with the year every Autistic person thrives in their lives, living every day knowing they make a difference too!

Happy New Year!!! Be Passionate in what you know you want to do to be happy 😉

OUT, J

Happy New Year!!!