Tag Archives: spirituality

A Poem Called “To Have or To Have Not”

To Have or To Have Not,

by theamazinJ

thinking,
breathing,
moralizing,
mortalizing,
forgetting,
forgiving,
fulfilling,
attributing,
differentiating,
differing,
limiting,
limitless,
it happens when we think,
it does not happen viably,
living everyday,
gawking at,
watching what we like,
disbanding what we don’t,
everyday is something,
nothing can be emptiness,
nothingness or beauty,
grouping or individuality,
haves or haves not,
furthering our dreams,
looking toward who we are,
creating a new normal,
a brand new construction,
a life is worth living,
everyone has something,
without rejecting the secret,
or, with living however you want,
goals of intuition,
warping with your tribe,
flipping through the book,
gone, but not gone,
lifting with joy,
sad for something,
angry to sometimes,
fearing for existence,
happy to live,
urging the silence
following the abundance,
connecting the world,
fulfilling,
guaranteeing observation,
gleefully determined,
everything happens the way we want
by believing in what we do,
belief for ourselves,
having the haters,
while also having the lovers,
springing board like a magnet
insisting the goal,
fueling our rights,
eventually
presumptuously
acting upon faith,
faith of the spirit,
faith of the the angel,
mostly, faith in ourselves.
To have or to have not,
we can have abundance
or we can have gloom,
we can have our mind
or we can live through others,
we can have much to accomplish
or we can fear for the anxiety not to,
everything is anxiety,
everything determines what you do in life,
and, everything is illuminated
no matter what,
so, go out there
and live it the way it is intended,
with the way feelings go by everyday,
with emotions, with fight or flight,
with ease or with difficulty,
with choosing to be with a tribe
or choosing individuality,
and most importantly,
choosing impossibility with possibility
because once we choose,
we choose life worth living,
and that’s the route individual citizens
want to take,
regardless of what neurodivergence living
or what social construction we want to abide by,
and what kind of a person we want to become.,
because it does not matter,
and don’t care what anyone says,
putting others messages second,
while doing something first,
remembering,
nothing about us, without us,
always.

A Poem Called “Rage, Rage, Rage”

Rage, Rage, Rage,

by theamazinJ

Violent bursts of screams,
raging through the crowd,
screaming, yelling, flapping,
bursting into the crowd of painful instinct,
sensory exhaustion to an extreme,
marginalizing one’s own dream,
ostracizing the person who lives,
oppressing,
depressing our emotions,
Raging violently with their hands,
raging violently with their movements,
raging so violently without even thinking,
trying to flight away to a far off quiet place,
destroying everything just to get there,
without caring what other pain is caused,
Rage, Rage, RAGE!
The wrath of Rage,
bursting into the seams of others clothing,
grabbing the nakedness of human nature,
the impossibility of looking directly in the eyes.
When looking directly into eyes
the pain causes rage
from the way the look grabs intently
to the point of fiery smoke,
and irrational emotional thought
seems to suck the blood out of your body,
out of your mind, and out darkening your soul
to the point of creating a clone
of the one and only who started it all.
The blood dries up,
the movements cause pain,
the gawking at the bluntness,
the need for a space for doing what is quiet,
what is intellectual,
and the space needed for creativity
to establish the need of creating a world
intersecting with time, with space, and
coordinating a world of hope,
a world of finding a way,
to a world to self-directing our own way,
a world to the incredible design created for everyone,
even when Rage outweighs it all,
rage does not fuel the joy,
Rage, Rage, RAGE,
raging into the community
where people eventually are segregated,
eventually into ghettos of despair
from the distrust that got us there,
fearing for our life,
and separating others who are citizens as well.
Loving to everyone can be difficult,
allowing the choice to persist,
separating our thoughts from our fear,
what is life?
rage, rage, raging into the sky,
opposing the current social construction,
building a universal designing of choice,
flapplauding or applauding,
ramping it up to nirvana or stairway to the upward wonderland,
acting up to the raging machine,
to the moment of existence,
without control, but with letting it all go,
letting go of what we are sad for,
letting go what makes us angry,
letting go of rage,
and finally letting go of the painful words or violence
imposed on who we are as a person,
to live a life finally nirvanically at peace.
peace with our hearts
subsiding the rage to almost nothing,
and just eternally living in the promised land
from this promised Earth.

A Poem Called “A Narrative of Individuals”

A Narrative of Individuals,

by theamazinJ

My gift,
My life,
My vision,
My focus,
My broad spectrum,
my ultimate beauty,
my darkened evil,
my life:
I have you,
I am you,
I am me,
I am disabled,
I am a person,
I am a citizen,
My goal,
My life,
My future,
My medicine,
my accommodation,
my accessibility,
my feelings,
my touch,
my sight,
my ideas,
my ways of who I am,
My obstacles with social construction,
My life.
I am disabled,
I am able.
I am who I am
however way you look at me,
I am you,
I am me,
I am comforting,
I am lost,
I am gained,
I am part of a tribe,
I am neurotribes,
I am neurodivergent,
I am blind,
I am moving awkwardly,
I am flexible,
I am moving furiously,
I am angry,
I am sad,
I am smiling,
I am proud of who I am,
I am conquering.
I am fighting.
I am flightful.
My thoughts are egregious.
My thoughts are among thou.
My thoughts are disabled.
My thoughts are smart and able,
my goal is fitting.
I am fit.
I am going on.
I am moving on.
I am forthcoming.
I am utterly fruitful.
My spirit is going.
I am a starry night,
I am in a darkened hole.
My life is sunny,
My life is rainy,
My life is cloudy,
My life is clear,
I can see clearly.
My life.
My classless feeling.
My feelings for others.
My anxiety soars.
I care for others,
I care less for me,
I focus on off,
focusing on.
lifting you,
lifting, pulling, pushing, pulling,
egregiously climbing,
outwardly done.
My life.
My life is paralyzed,
my life is numb,
my life is moving,
my life is simple,
my life is complicating,
my life is complex.
I am strong.
I am weak.
I am open.
I am closed.
It’s all about the future,
it’s all about me and you.
I am inspired.
I am despired.
I am inspiring.
I am deploring and despiring.
It’s good or it’s bad.
Faulty or Fally,
Fortune or forgetful,
Minding my business,
minding my own mind.
Spinning boundaries,
mental incapacities,
psychiatric dogginess,
dogs of beauty,
catastrophic cats,
cats in a rainbow,
libertarian of liberty,
spiraling out of control.
Controlling who I am,
spinning awfully well,
moving hands with flapps,
pushing myself into my blankets,
listening to my music,
painting the colors on canvass,
filming my stories,
urging goals of life.
It’s my journey,
It’s my anxiety,
It’s my conundrum,
I can be,
I cannot see,
I can see,
I can feel,
I may be real,
I am real,
I am you,
I am me,
That’s me,
That’s my life,
that’s your life,
living.

A Poem Called “Passing”

Passing,

by theamazinJ

It’s a struggle,
I pass or at least try to pass,
It’s a struggle,
I am from autistic culture,
my mind sees all sorts of things
in this world,
my body moves in all different ways,
my voice box is different and monolithic,
my speech is radiant and unique,
my words become silent from misunderstanding,
my life is a constant battle to pass in society.
My speech speaks with very few listeners,
my movements paint with very easy ease,
my life is a constant battle to please everyone to pass,
did Frederick Douglass want to pass for the white man?
did Rosa Parks want to pass for the white woman?
Did Mozart care about what others thought when making music?
Did Andy Warhol care about what others thought of his art?
Did Andy Kaufman care about what his critics thought of his comedy?
Does Bill Gates care about what others think of what he wants to do for the world?
Does Hillary Clinton really care what anyone thinks of her?
Autistic culture is different from non-autistic culture,
disability culture is different than living without disabilities in the able-bodied culture,
black culture is different from white culture,
jewish culture is different from christian culture,
muslim culture is different from jewish and christian culture,
witch culture and other polytheistic cultures are different than monotheism,
LGBT culture is different than heterosexual culture,
females are different than males which are both different than other genders,
the binary system is broader than one would actually think,
the binary gender, the binary able-bodied culture, the binary religion,
the monolithic sexuality, the way everyone thinks is black and white.
everyone feels, thinks, speaks, and moves differently,
we need to respect each other for who we are all born as,
and we need to respect the way we all move in the world.
Yet, black and white thinking is among us all,
it’s among everyone who feels everyone in the world needs to pass
rather than be the other, rather than be a person who is who they are,
It’s fighting for the rights of people with disabilities to live our life
the way we are and fighting for universal design for inclusion in the world,
It’s fighting for black culture, indigenous culture, other people of color, muslims, Jews, polytheistic religions, and women
to be able to live life experiencing whatever way they are and whatever way they see the world,
because universal design is not just for disability culture,
it’s for everyone to live inclusively together,
without the social construction created hundreds of years ago,
living life with a more different unique social construction embedded with individual human nature
and understanding of each other,
passing is difficult for many,
passing is difficult when we cannot be accepted and respected the way we are,
the broader human culture needs to understand each other,
the broader human culture needs to accept each other,
and the broader human culture is a part of neurodivergent culture
as well as part of the culture of the norm,
if we are truly going to live a neurodiverse culture
than we need to be accepting when someone chooses to pass for norm or chooses their neurodivergence,
choosing to be whoever and whatever their brain is like in speaking, moving, and thinking with their bodies,
we choose everything by and for ourselves, we choose what we want to accept, we choose what we even want to do everyday,
the most important thing is:
We choose how we feel about ourselves and what we think of ourselves
because in the end,
it’s our choices that create us,
it’s our choices that allow us to think binary or not,
it’s our choices to accept others or not,
it’s our choices to respect everyone or not,
it’s our choices to create a new social order or continue the binary social construction
that has been around for hundreds of years,
it’s our choices to move forward in evolution or just pass,
it’s our choice to live or to die,
and it’s our choice to be the person we are by fate or by destiny of who we individually strive for
with respecting everyone.

A Poem Called “Survival of the Fittest”

Survival of the Fittest,

by theamazinJ

Survival, living, escaping, living,
life, journey, and mind blowing experiences.
survival of the fittest,
surviving the struggle from the human interactions
everyday,
finding hope in a journey to be yourself,
away from everyone else’s mistakes, identities, and voices,
speaking the one true voice of your self,
of what an individual wants, needs, and desires.
Life’s journey takes us 2 steps forward,
one step backward, every day of our life.
We cannot dwell on the liars,
we cannot sulk over the way a narcissist spins it
and all their followers twist the truth
to make everyone else insane,
to make everyone so crazy,
and to make everyone feel alone with their thoughts
as the narcissist leads.
Everyone craves themselves,
but many people forget to forgive themselves
and forget that everyone is in this together
to organize for human right, civil rights.
Many people forget the most important thing
is an individual’s self-determination
regardless of impairments
to allow everyone to just live.
Living is the most complicated, emotional, and loving
part of the human experience.
We are all living to get to reach our goals,
without influences, and with experiencing each day
with those who love us so dearly and explicitly,
but most importantly,
living is a daily dose of a grain of salt,
a way we need to not think of the words,
a way not to think of the way the words are drawn out,
but processing the words in the meaning of love
by those who communicating with us, with care.
Some may not be caring,
some may not really care,
some may be leading us into creating walls of despair,
and it takes sometimes effort to know
who really cares and who does not,
who builds bridges and not walls,
who really is in our life temporarily,
and who is there for life.
The meaning of survival of the fittest,
is not about the dominant person or human being that survives,
it’s not about allowing the weak to die off into extinction,
it is about the dominance of love in our life
regardless where we stand, sit, or crawl
as part of the animal kingdom
how we embrace are affection for love,
and the hugs and kisses and other forms of love
and how any body communicates,
we interact with, with those in our life,
because in the end,
love is actually the dominance of
survival of the fittest,
and that’s all that it really means.