Tag Archives: self advocacy

A Poem Called “Mourning”

(Trigger Warning: the painful moments may trigger some.)

Mourning,

by theamazinJ

Violence,
hurt,
physical pain,
emotional pain,
murderous draining of blood,
seeping from our veins abstractly,
the pain persists with everyone,
it persists in the community,
it persists in segregated settings,
it persists with disabled people,
it persists with black people,
it persists with jewish people,
it persists with muslims,
it persists with women,
it persists with differences in gender and (a)sexuality,
it persists because of eugenics,
it persists cause of American society today
especially with Donald Trump,
especially with the dark past history of America,
especially with this construction from Francis Galton,
the pain hurts even deeper and darker than that,
from the deepest roots of human history,
many people are in pain,
many people are in mourning
the lack of empathy from the current social construction
of how many individuals in mainstream society don’t understand,
of how many don’t want to understand,
and how we cannot get it right,
we cannot listen to each other,
of how no one has true understanding
unless the person has experienced
or flipped to that side of the coin,
and that only happens when we allow ourselves to experience,
when we just experience it,
and we begin to heal,
heal through humor,
heal through communicating,
heal through love,
heal through laughing amongst each other,
in the community and not in congregate settings separated from the community,
because it’s all about us,
it is all about life,
it’s not about mourning,
it’s not supposed to be a dark life,
it’s supposed to be about seeing the light,
seeing the positive sides of life,
experiencing and loving who we are
so we can experience and love everyone around us,
without causing pain to us or anyone else
regardless of how much pain we already have,
it’s about letting go and moving forward,
It’s Nothing about us, without us,
it’s just about love,
can you go back in time,
to a place in your mind,
to the one you knew you that you just couldn’t find,
when it’s said and done it’s not about losing love,
it’s not about the pain,
it’s about gaining love from everyone we meet,
taking in everything, but not taking too much pain,
the mourning of this day,
heals us when we can laugh instead of cry,
when we can let go and celebrate lives lost,
when we can let go and celebrate our own life,
and when we can just let go and move forward,
Mourning is more about how we laugh until we had to cry
and say to each other,
I love you no matter what,
I love you for who you are or who you were,
people touch, and it lives in our lives forever,
so, let’s move forward
and let’s meet halfway,
made of memories,
believing in destiny,
every moment is about getting living every moment
in the way we stick to each other in the community
regardless of impairments, regardless of what labels society gives us,
and we are stronger when we have given up,
given up on our egos,
given up on our arrogance,
and lived for the humility of humanity,
remembering and always never forgetting,
disability is a major part of human life,
so don’t neglect yourself, don’t neglect others,
and begin to accept the diversity in everything,
the diversity of life, between where we are
where we identify, claiming neurodivergent and claiming disability and even claiming neurotypicality,
finally,
it does not matter what people claim,
it just matters to be happy,
and live knowing
normality is real, but normality is accepting life the way it is,
in the living years
say it loud, say it clear,
so don’t blame the ones before, presently, or after,
just laugh with perfect humor among each other,
no matter what, no matter who,
when nothing about us, without us
really does matter.

A Poem Called “History”

History,

by theamazinj

Story,
feelings,
hurt,
healing,
history.
History says,
stop and think,
history says,
go ahead and review,
history says,
forget and forgive,
history says,
neurodiversity,
history says,
we are neurodivergent
unless we claim to be neurotypical
from the social construction.
Whether Neurotypical or claiming Neurodivergence,
we are here or we are there,
we are sad or we are happy,
we are gone or we are forgotten,
we are staying or we are leaving.
Every day is history,
every year is history
every day we remember not repeat history,
from pre-history days to historical views,
from the day we end it to the day we begin,
from what we hate to what we love,
every day is a good day of extenuating circumstances,
love or be loved, hate or be hated,
everyone loves yet everyone hates at the same time.
Do we go?
Do we let loose?
do we win? or, do we lose?
do we just let go?
Communicate to let go,
leave to let go,
stay to let go,
drive to let go,
roll to let go,
spin in circles to release everything,
release the tension,
release the bitterness,
release the anger,
release the love deep in your heart.
Everywhere we go,
everywhere we attend,
wherever we enter,
whatever we exit,
go and be seen,
include yourself in what you want,
exclude what you do not like,
saying it will be heard later,
without feeling guilty for doing that.
Sometimes we are hurt,
sometimes we feel situated in our brain with ease,
building our mind with knowledge,
creatively discovering who and what we are,
inventing and reinventing until we become the person we are meant to be,
sometimes gone,
sometimes hurt,
sometimes we are longing for lust,
while longing for our hearts to be satisfied.
Feeling nature, experiencing everything around us,
and building who we are with
who we are with self-determination.
Sometimes it takes growth,
sometimes it takes seclusion,
sometimes it takes isolation,
while sometimes we need to live in solitude.
Some may say its loneliness,
when it really just is self-care, self-love, and self-worth.
Giving our identity to the world can be overwhelming,
giving every word every sentence and every picture,
exposes everything and pushes us to detach from the community.
We have our faith, we have our lion, we have our gopher, and once again,
we have our spirit in the winds,
no matter what we do,
it’s on us,
because it’s history,
it’s in our genes,
it’s in how we express those genes,
and it’s how we see the world through the social model,
through the way disability is a part of us all,
finally being the imperfect of who we are.
History: The story of our lives.
disabled or non-disabled,
accepting or just being in pain,
it’s time for the future,
for the future of history.

A Poem Called “FilmDis”

FilmDis,

by theamazinJ

Critical analysis of film,
the spirit of film,
creating ideas,
suggesting ideas,
collaborating with others,
including all voices,
evening the playing field,
incorporating the film business with disabled people,
watching, viewing, and discussing film,
everyone needs this,
everyone gains from it all,
no one is left behind,
everyone’s words are valid and appreciated,
making films that count,
making films that we enjoy,
making films we despise,
raising the bar in filmmaking,
everything is illuminated with thought,
everything can be taught,
no one is left behind,
we discuss what we like,
we discuss what we don’t like,
regardless of who we are,
regardless of disability or abled-bodiness,
regardless of gender,
regardless of what we believe,
even regardless of what we say.
some, don’t like it,
some, enjoy it,
some even spread the message further,
some even consider their duty,
filmdis is important,
discussing the themes,
discussing the action,
discussing the visuals,
discussing the plot,
discussing the sound and the way we perceive light,
even discussing the perception and mentality of society.
Everyone’s included,
everyone can say how they feel,
no one can belittle anyone,
no one can talk down to others
like their activism is not enough or not good enough,
we speak for ourselves,
but we listen to everyone.
Film activism creates themes of change,
film activism debunks and de-stigmatizes
what didn’t work and what can work better,
organizations mean nothing,
it’s in the heart of what the individual citizen says,
not in what families say,
not in what organizations say,
and certainly not what legislators or a President says,
The President and legislators must listen to individual citizens
like FilmDis needs to listen to individuals in and out of the film business,
like in the way organizations or families need to listen to individuals,
regardless of what organizing people or families actually say,
because in the end,
we all may wholly agree in a discussion,
we all may wholeheartedly disagree.
The discussion becomes fulfilled when
everyone understands, everyone listens, no one feels invalidated,
and no one feels belittled or stupid,
finally giving the individual a voice,
a voice speaking for themselves,
a voice speaking for what they believe in,
a voice in discussions,
and a voice among thousands of other voices,
because no one can repute,
but everyone can just listen,
and give the most,
taking the least,
while taking in and reflecting on a moment
on the ideas an individual citizen actually has,
take a moment and reflect
remembering FilmDis,
and remembering organizing means nothing
when there is no outreach,
when there is no discussion,
and there is no inclusion,
Nothing about us, without Us!

A Poem Called “To Have or To Have Not”

To Have or To Have Not,

by theamazinJ

thinking,
breathing,
moralizing,
mortalizing,
forgetting,
forgiving,
fulfilling,
attributing,
differentiating,
differing,
limiting,
limitless,
it happens when we think,
it does not happen viably,
living everyday,
gawking at,
watching what we like,
disbanding what we don’t,
everyday is something,
nothing can be emptiness,
nothingness or beauty,
grouping or individuality,
haves or haves not,
furthering our dreams,
looking toward who we are,
creating a new normal,
a brand new construction,
a life is worth living,
everyone has something,
without rejecting the secret,
or, with living however you want,
goals of intuition,
warping with your tribe,
flipping through the book,
gone, but not gone,
lifting with joy,
sad for something,
angry to sometimes,
fearing for existence,
happy to live,
urging the silence
following the abundance,
connecting the world,
fulfilling,
guaranteeing observation,
gleefully determined,
everything happens the way we want
by believing in what we do,
belief for ourselves,
having the haters,
while also having the lovers,
springing board like a magnet
insisting the goal,
fueling our rights,
eventually
presumptuously
acting upon faith,
faith of the spirit,
faith of the the angel,
mostly, faith in ourselves.
To have or to have not,
we can have abundance
or we can have gloom,
we can have our mind
or we can live through others,
we can have much to accomplish
or we can fear for the anxiety not to,
everything is anxiety,
everything determines what you do in life,
and, everything is illuminated
no matter what,
so, go out there
and live it the way it is intended,
with the way feelings go by everyday,
with emotions, with fight or flight,
with ease or with difficulty,
with choosing to be with a tribe
or choosing individuality,
and most importantly,
choosing impossibility with possibility
because once we choose,
we choose life worth living,
and that’s the route individual citizens
want to take,
regardless of what neurodivergence living
or what social construction we want to abide by,
and what kind of a person we want to become.,
because it does not matter,
and don’t care what anyone says,
putting others messages second,
while doing something first,
remembering,
nothing about us, without us,
always.

A Poem Called “Rage, Rage, Rage”

Rage, Rage, Rage,

by theamazinJ

Violent bursts of screams,
raging through the crowd,
screaming, yelling, flapping,
bursting into the crowd of painful instinct,
sensory exhaustion to an extreme,
marginalizing one’s own dream,
ostracizing the person who lives,
oppressing,
depressing our emotions,
Raging violently with their hands,
raging violently with their movements,
raging so violently without even thinking,
trying to flight away to a far off quiet place,
destroying everything just to get there,
without caring what other pain is caused,
Rage, Rage, RAGE!
The wrath of Rage,
bursting into the seams of others clothing,
grabbing the nakedness of human nature,
the impossibility of looking directly in the eyes.
When looking directly into eyes
the pain causes rage
from the way the look grabs intently
to the point of fiery smoke,
and irrational emotional thought
seems to suck the blood out of your body,
out of your mind, and out darkening your soul
to the point of creating a clone
of the one and only who started it all.
The blood dries up,
the movements cause pain,
the gawking at the bluntness,
the need for a space for doing what is quiet,
what is intellectual,
and the space needed for creativity
to establish the need of creating a world
intersecting with time, with space, and
coordinating a world of hope,
a world of finding a way,
to a world to self-directing our own way,
a world to the incredible design created for everyone,
even when Rage outweighs it all,
rage does not fuel the joy,
Rage, Rage, RAGE,
raging into the community
where people eventually are segregated,
eventually into ghettos of despair
from the distrust that got us there,
fearing for our life,
and separating others who are citizens as well.
Loving to everyone can be difficult,
allowing the choice to persist,
separating our thoughts from our fear,
what is life?
rage, rage, raging into the sky,
opposing the current social construction,
building a universal designing of choice,
flapplauding or applauding,
ramping it up to nirvana or stairway to the upward wonderland,
acting up to the raging machine,
to the moment of existence,
without control, but with letting it all go,
letting go of what we are sad for,
letting go what makes us angry,
letting go of rage,
and finally letting go of the painful words or violence
imposed on who we are as a person,
to live a life finally nirvanically at peace.
peace with our hearts
subsiding the rage to almost nothing,
and just eternally living in the promised land
from this promised Earth.