Tag Archives: autism/aspies

Self-Determination is Important and Healthy for a Person’s Life

People live stronger and healthier when living with self-determination. Self-determination is moving toward independence with the support network we all need. However, many people who don’t have a strong support network need to find the inner strength to do it on their own finding people who can help them. No one needs to feel like any person with ableist attitudes will teach them that they are incapable, incompetent, and feel unwanted. Every one is capable, competent, and wanted with a mission to achieve anything they want in their life. Whether you already have a strong support network or you are trying to build one for yourself, it’s important to know that everyone in society is interdependent.

One way of gaining this support network and building your life is through self-directed services from your state developmental disability office. A lot of times self-directed services from each state’s developmental disabilities department helps create situations for people needing a way to live on their own, but with support. This program needs to be encouraged more so people with a developmental disability including those individuals graduating from high school or have been an adult struggling for a long time to receive these services themselves. It helps because as people reach adulthood, everyone lives in the community interdependently, experiencing responsibilities and respect from everyone around them.

The world needs to change by accepting disabilities in life because it’s all a part of humanity! So, when is the countries that are not accepting disability going to take the lead the United States is trying to do right now? I do know there are many Americans that are not accepting disability too. However, many Americans are leading in the fight for disability rights trying to create an inclusive community for Autistics and other Disabled folks.

Individuals in society achieve successes each day as an interdependent person no matter if you have a disability or not. So, why do many people still treat Disabled people either with an invisible disability and/or a visible disability like we are third world citizens who don’t belong with the rest of the community? Many people in the Disability and Mental Health communities live in institutions segregated away from their families and segregated away from the rest of the community without the respect from others. Many people outside of the Disability community throughout the world need to understand disability is a part of the human experience and does not need to be hidden. It’s important to improve the lives of every person in society and give support to the people who need it so no one is left in an institution for the rest of their lives. The most important aspect of our life is to create a situation where each community in society supports the individuals who are in that community.

Additionally, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) in the United States just reported yesterday that 1:68 people are Autistic in the United States. The media reported this as if Autism is a disease, however only 1 in out of every 68 people are being represented as Autistic. This is getting better, but we need more Autistic voices to represent themselves as Autistic. There is still too many people who hide Autistic people from society. Instead people need to allow Autistics to seek their own identity as Autistic, not being afraid of themselves especially the part that is autistic. Being Autistic is just as important as any other part of a person’s identity. Once we accept this as an identity, we will see the numbers increase more. Everyone in the community is here to help everyone around them. That’s a part of humanity, that’s a part of love for others, and that’s a part of the structure of the Human race. Humanity is a spectrum!! Everyone needs to accept and understand people without fearing the unknown races, religions, and cultures in their society. Thus, fear leads to much hatred, so why fear when you can love.

It’s time to give responsibility, respect, and immediate action to the Disability community young and old to be able to do things on their own by exploring their identity and working out their life with the support network when they need it to fulfill their life. This is important because it gives any person a chance to describe an identity that fits them. It’s essential for any one to have their own way of defining themselves. It also helps with fulfilling a person’s own mission to make a difference. We can all learn from each other by living in the community. There are many ways we can be supportive without doing and speaking for others, by giving choices to everyone.

Remember: Nothing about us, without us!

From The Grateful Dead’s “Uncle John’s Band”:

Well the first days are the hardest days, don’t you worry any more,
‘Cause when life looks like Easy Street, there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind,
Wo, oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

Be kind and respect everyone the way they want to be identified as. No one can be disrespected and hurt a long the way. Every one has their chance to live and be a part of the community at large 🙂

As Autism Acceptance Month approaches next Tuesday, Let’s build a strong United Community in the World!

OUT, J

Let’s Give Everyone Their Chance For their Own Success!

Being Disabled is not the same as being able. It’s hard dealing with people who just don’t understand us as being a part of the Disability community. I have met many people who look at me like I am an Able-bodied person, but don’t realize the many things that disable me from the rest of society. Being Autistic has it’s many gifts for me, but I still am disabled by society’s standards. I am very capable of doing the many things like everyone else, but much of society does not understand how to accommodate me. For example, there are different ways I get overloaded and overstimulated that I get very frustrated with and angry because the way society acts. If many people realized it, they could change their perception of how to act.

Everyone is capable of doing whatever they know they can do, but for some reason their is a disconnect between Able-bodied people and the Disabled. Whether the person is on the Autistic spectrum, has Cerebral Palsy, has Down’s Syndrome, is physically handicapped, has a mental health condition, has a rare illness that disables them from society, blind, deaf, etc. People need to remember whether the person is visibly disabled or invisibly disabled, everyone has right to their personal accommodation from the rest of society to do what they love to do.

There is no reason why a Disabled person should be left in the dark by themselves to be pitied or placed in Residential Treatment Placement Centers or Treated differently among the Healthcare system because the rest of society does not understand us. These are unacceptable ways to treat anyone, so why is society always thinking of using pity and torture in healthcare for people with disabilities. It really is very unfair and unconscionable for any Human being to be treated in such a fashion. For instance, just because someone is Autistic does not mean they need constant supervision, but it does not mean we don’t need supervision at all like everyone else. Society does not understand Disability culture, in addition to not being very concrete with Autistics.

Society is too overwhelming for us as a result, where we become very angry, confused, and frustrated because of it. Much of society still thinks that organizations like Autism Speaks will have all the answers and the mainstream media thinks they have the answers too. Instead of seeking answers from anyone, seek answers from those people who are struggling with society; the people with disabilities themselves! There are some Disabled people who may seem Neurotypical, but really are very much disabled themselves. You can’t walk in other shoes until you have experienced what a Disabled person experiences every day from our unique way of being in this so-called Able-bodied/Neurotypical world. Many people just don’t understand and think that they can talk down at us, that we need constant supervision, and that we need constant attention. However, disability is a part of humanity!!!

No one can discover their own self-determination and taking responsibility if the society’s communities does not understand everyone. Self-determination is very important and being included in conversations with the rest of society who talks about us is even more important. Society is overlooking the many factors of what it means for any one to be successful. Success does not mean making a lot of money. Success just means working hard to learning to build our own necessities to live our life and having our own self-worth to just be who we are. In the every end to self-determination, anyone reaps their rewards, with money, but not before the end.

I have found that there are too many professionals and many other people working to help people with disabilities who just don’t understand how to physically and mentally be there for any of us. As being a part of the subcategory, in the Autistic community, which is very broad and diverse of people in the world, many people seem to not understand us at all even a lot of professionals. This is very sad!!! Though, many people are learning lately, there is still much more learning, accepting us, and understanding about autism and disability that everyone needs to know in order to create a better society.

As we are in the middle of March, we are almost beginning Autism Acceptance Month in April, which means we are 3 and a half months until Autistic Pride Day in June. I thank many people who are beginning to learn or are learning, but I think society still has a long road of learning and understanding until they can begin accepting. Much of society is still not very concrete, not very understanding, and certainly not very accepting of Human diversity of what people can do for themselves where any one can take ownership of who they are, building their life.

There are many people in society who just don’t think that Disabled people can be included, have their own voice, and strive for their own success. Some people, but not all, who do take on people with disabilities including Autistic people, use some people in the disability community as a Token, because they want us to spread their word of pity in order to be called an inspiration to us all. This is not right and not fair! However, much of society needs to learn that everyone can be successful in what they know they want to do, can have a supportive network of people like anyone else to live life, and be independent when we need to be.

Stay true to yourself and always remember that no matter what we all our living as Human beings in the vast Human spectrum!!

OUT, J

My Speech from the Day of Mourning Vigil in New City, NY 2014

(State Senator David Carlucci was at the Vigil too and I made a great new connection with him. He is interested in working with Community Alliance For Ethical Treatment of Youth (CAFETY) that I am a Board member of. Video and pictures to come soon…Thank you to so many people who helped me including Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, my committee for the Vigil, the NYC Vigil Committee, my Parents, Skyler the Maltese Dog, and to the State Senator David Carlucci for attending and all those others for helping out or supporting me.)

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network’s Day of Mourning 2014

Today we stand around on the First day of March to gather in a circle and remember those people with disabilities who were abused and killed without even fulfilling their life’s purpose and mission. There were many people who died unnecessarily and without cause. A lot of the names you will see on this Poster, but many names go unnoticed. The Caregivers and Parents who murdered their loved ones were sympathized instead of the people who died who should have been mourned. Justice needs to be served when any life is taken for granted and taken away without cause. Every one has a purpose, every one has a right to live their life the way they know they can be a productive members of society, and be encouraged to do so.

We stand here today as one Human race as we remember at this vigil the lives of those people who could’ve had a good remarkable life, who could’ve gained, and achieved positive things in their life. Achievements that many of us take for granted and knowledge we learn or learned that these people could have had too. It’s unfortunate that the society we live in does not appreciate and respect everyone who lives here. Society needs to change and society needs to realize everyone matters and everyone has a chance to take responsibility for their own lives.

We live, we survive, we have self-determination, we have resilience, we have power, we have strength, we are the ones who will survive even when it’s our final time in this society to make our mark. Our mark is to ensure every Human being lives to their fullest advantage with extraordinary capabilities and intelligence the way we were intended to be built. Every one can use their minds to do anything they want to, it’s just important to remember that we are to use our mind to be creative or invent a fulfilling enjoyment for the world to enjoy. Life is beautiful if you make it beautiful, but life is given to us to help support each other embracing the relationships we already have or will have in the future. In retrospect, we are a community, a very broad and diverse community of Humanity where we built a society to live in. That society we live in is guaranteed to help us be included, be rewarded, and be respected no matter what.

What more can I say? We need to support each other, but most importantly we need to embrace the very fact of our humanity and let us say: Give a Supportive Inclusive Environment a chance and be respectful, courteous, and loving to all those around you. Think twice before you say something or do something hurtful, and enjoy the remarkable world we live in. There are so many people who have so much to offer, so give life a chance and let everyone live their life the way they know how to live it.

Love can go two ways, sometimes it’s one way, but we need to make it a two way street. Love means something when we journey through life accepting people’s missions, people’s gender, people’s disabilities, people’s personalities, people’s sexualities, people’s races, and people’s vision for the world. Everyone lives and everyone has a chance to feel anointed to their respectful wishes on how they want to live their life, experience the world, rectify their past, and live their personal destiny. Not everyone believes in spirituality and not everyone does not believe in spirituality either. That is the beauty of the way we all live in this world. Everyone craves the talented world we live in, to live the dream we always wanted. Now is the time to live the dream we always wanted. Now is the time for people with disabilities to feel accepted to their guided light of the day, and build up a life too. No body should feel hurt, no body should be killed, and no body should feel their life does not matter because we all matter.

As I conclude my opening remarks to this important Vigil, we embark on a new era of guiding people, all people, toward the light, toward sky, toward the vision of clouds in the sky, to move forward and smile at the everybody around you. Thank you everyone for coming to this important part of history in the making for a journey toward hope, toward love, and toward a mission well served. Now I introduce you to our State Senator David Carlucci to say a few words about this Vigil. Thank you…


OUT, J

Neurodiversity: Sexuality and Identifying Oneself

Disclaimer: A discussion post on sex and sexuality

It’s important to identify ourselves. By identifying ourselves the way we know best, there are many ways we can identify ourselves in this world. Some of these different ways we identify ourselves are similar to other people, but in many ways for so many people it’s a completely different way these days. For example, many people identify themselves as male or female, however these are not the only gender roles someone can identify themselves with. Facebook recently added many of the gender roles to their list other than male or female. There are also many different ways many people want to connect to another Human being as well. It’s not just boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating and Relationships is a powerful example of connecting with someone else, but not everyone wants a sexual relationship. However, being sexual is a big part of Dating and Relationships.

Although, I do know most people in this world do want a sexual relationship because sex is important to many people. The beginnings of connecting sexually is touching another Human being in ways that is more than just talking. It’s holding a person, caressing a person, and creating a sense of deep pressure that fills up the souls of the Human beings connecting sexually. I have met many people where sex was not an important factor in their life, but they accept people who do find it important. So, why can’t society accept these people who don’t want sex?

Sex is important because it stimulates the brain for many people around creating a better positive experience for life for so many who feel lonely. This positive experience in life helps many people discover more creative, intellectual, and inventive new ideas. However, I am not saying without sex, people can’t be creative, intellectual, or inventive, I am just saying it allows the mind to be relaxed more to think of these expressions. Sex is not for everyone and there are many people who say they don’t need sex to live their life, but sex is still an expression for a lot of people including flirting.

Sex is a three letter word which the media has expressed in many ways showing many different ways sex can be done. It’s important to find the right partner for your needs if you desire those needs. I stress though that sex is done between 2 consenting adults who have the same desires and the same agenda for connecting with each other. If these circumstances are not met, sex should not be performed, if it is not met, then one or both parties violated each other’s feelings and bodies.

Many people enjoy having sex each and every day of the year. Although two Adults connecting in a consenting, sexual way, need to do so in the privacy of one of their homes or if they are married in their home. A part from sex, is kissing. For most, touching is part of the process of deep connection by gazing at each other and feeling each other’s skin.

Many people identify themselves differently and everyone has a different person they want to connect with sexually and desire to finding a partner to live their life with. Although, finding a partner to live your life with is not always absolute. Many times people find a partner, then decide to break up, finding a different partner. My advice to those people trying to find the love of their life, don’t be too picky, choose based on your instincts, decide what you want, and don’t be influenced from others. Finding a partner can be tricky for most, including myself, but it’s important to know what you want.

Finding a sexual partner can be hard for so many people because many people are lonely. It’s important to representing yourself correctly as well as being accepted from society with that representation. Society and the media don’t acknowledge all roles and ways to identify oneself. For example, the media and Autism Speaks, create a sense of fear for autism, where the Autistic person usually feels pitied because they are not accepted. Hence, society separates the part of them that is autistic from the rest of them that makes them a person. There are many ways every one identifies themselves with, and being Autistic is just one of the ways for many people these days as people accept themselves. Let’s Love, not Fear!!! Everyone can live and identify themselves with everything they know they are.

For example, will I find a woman for myself? Well, that’s all up to whether or not I find an emotional attachment in a woman that I feel connected to and feel like I want to do that. Though, it’s never been a major priority for myself and isn’t right now. I just have friends I like to talk to and finding a connection that does not matter who they are. Though, someday I will be with a woman I want to be with!

OUT, J

A Way Forward For Society to Think Outside the Box

Change is not only hard for many Autistic people, but Non-Autistic people have problems with Change as well. I’ve noticed this a lot lately probably because I am making myself more aware of this. A lot of the World’s people have problems accepting change leading into destructive violent behaviors, however there is a way to rectify the situation; accept changes people present everyday, accept yourself, and think outside the box. Positive changes happen every day, sometimes multiple times a day, so we need to know change is good. Whether you are Disabled or Non-Disabled, everyone is human which means we all need to accept changes every day and live our life fulfilling career paths. Many times people follow the wrong path where they follow along someone else’s instead. People need to accept who they are and change to lead their own life without thinking about how much money they will make. Money is a material reward that is given after hard work was completed. Everyone matters and everyone deserves to work hard for their reward.

To be a Self-Advocacy Leader of any group, people have to remember that there are different roles of leadership in the world. Everyone leads and follows at the same time whether they realize it or not. However, leadership takes ownership in the person’s life empowering them to take on their struggles head on and use their struggles as a platform to build their life. For example, someone who is non-verbal and not able to express their words through their physical voice, needs to express their desire to communicate by using assistive and augmentative communication devices that will help them use their voice. They are still leaders! Many Non-Autistic people believe that many people who can’t communicate through their physical voice have no rights and can’t stand up for themselves. Thus, this is where the problem arises because a lot of people have a problem thinking outside the box.

Thinking outside the box is a continuing issue for most people in the world because most people look at standards of what they want in society without deviating from the standards. This is a problem! This is why organizations like Autism Speaks are hopeless places for people to turn to. However, it’s also an easier place for people to turn to because the media promotes them. The media does not realize that this organization is not helpful because the media can not deviate from the way society sets these standards, for example, with physical voice and eye contact.

There are many ways a person communicates. For example, imagine everyone you met in the world were deaf or blind, then we would all be either using sign language to each other or braille. Think about this and even other examples! Then, if there were a minority of people talking and seeing well in society, everyone probably would consider people speaking and seeing, lost, dead, souls throwing them in institutions to make them society’s normal. Now let’s go back to reality! In reality, the majority of people use eye contact, talk with their mouths, can see, walk, and hear well. The rest of us are the minority who can not make eye contact or talk with our mouths or can’t see or can’t walk or can’t hear well. The more Non-Disabled people realize that disability is a part of the human experience, the more they will realize that leadership is a part of being human too, the more everyone will have fulfilling lives in an inclusive society without struggling through pain and having outbursts. However, many people in the world do not see the full picture and can not think outside the box.

When someone has a creative mind, they can think outside the box and by thinking outside the box, the person knows they will make mistakes and grow more. The world wants to be perfect, but perfection does not exist. Perfection is just a bad assumption to make. I noticed that many of society’s standards are not very realistic because of the ‘perfect’ factor. People want to be perfect, so they forget about humanity. Being human is not being perfect, being human is just a way of providing ourselves with being more of a creative thinker. There are different ways of being creative too. Everyone has their own mind where they experience the world differently from their peers and family. Organizations like Autism Speaks needs to realize this too!

At my current job leading groups for an agency in New York City, I love my job and I love helping others in the Disability community who have similar or different disabilities than myself. It’s been a great experience so far and it only will get even better. I lead groups two days a week as a pilot program that can lead into a great endeavor of personal experience to help for outreach. I create presentations each week and meet with the people who go to the day hab centers and live in the residences the agency provides for them. This experience I have will lead more to an empowering movement in the whole disability community for everyone including myself. Let’s get started on thinking outside the box about Disability!

OUT, J