Tag Archives: neurotypicals

Supporting the Decisions Everyone Makes No Matter What Varying Impairments Anyone May Have including Autistic people

Supporting the Decisions for Everyone No Matter What Varying Impairments Anyone May Have Including Autistic People

Autistic people have rights just the way everyone has rights to be a leader of their life; Autistic people are thinking the way they want to think and are also human beings too with our own mind. Autistic people have feelings often feeling for others and have feelings that often feel pain by many other people who do not understand us. Autistic people grow up at different paces while others may just grow at the same pace as their physical age. Because many Autistic people grow at different paces, we are often thought of as less than human, deviant from the norm, and due to our impairments many in society look down upon us thinking we do not have a mind of our own nor are we able to make logical decisions about the life we want.

Though, Autistic people are vulnerable, and depending on the impairments, depend on how vulnerable the individual will be. It does not matter if the person is less impaired, they can be more vulnerable. Just because Autistic people are vulnerable does not mean we are not our own person. May be so many think that way because Autistic people feel so many emotions at once, that at times we either do not know how to use our emotions scaling back inward or use our emotions too much being considered to be over-emotional, rageful, and illogical. Whichever way Autistic people are, we are misunderstood by society as a whole, thus society is misguided in the way everyone should think of Autistic culture and human society in general.

Despite all of the misunderstandings and misguided ideas from years of a perception that someone with cognitive impairments is not capable, some in society are finally learning today what person centered really means. Yet, many do not presume competence. The tragedy of the thinking that Autistic people don’t have a mind capable like others has created in the past, a blood boiling battle scene between Autistic people and many others who striving for a way of conformity. Lately, the people who get the most credit for starting this battle scene is the organization, Autism Speaks. However, they are not the only ones who need to take responsibility for this battle scene between Autistic and non-autistic.

Many people before Autism Speaks have contributed to this blood boiling war between Autistic people and others who strive for perfection. Unfortunately, the mainstream media has contributed to this as well by mostly taking the sides of people who are against Autistic culture. This war against Autistic people is really a war against humanity and human nature, yet it should not have polarized thinking. The battle to fight for either correcting the genome from disability to embracing the genome and realizing cognitive disabilities like the way Autistic culture is, is something that needs to be accepted.

How far do we go to changing the human genome? Is it our right to change the genome that mutates and changes randomly over time? Who gets to say which parts of the genome are bad or not? And, is the human genome really a bad thing as many medical researchers are trying to correct it to make a perfected flawless human being? Is eugenics or genetic counseling really needed?

My feelings as a person who is Neurodivergent from outside the norms of society and as an Autistic person leads me to believe that I often feel like pushing to be who I am while getting pull back from society to make me the same as how others are. The fine line between autonomy and being who we are versus depending on others to conform to the standards of society is enormously thick, yet we need to pull one way and push another to be included in the community. Autism Speaks as an organization has been through a rough war because many people feel their misguided thinking for almost 12 years has been too hurtful to many who feel they want to embrace who they are regardless. This makes me feel that not just Autism Speaks, but everyone needs to re-think what we have done in the past that preyed on too many people and in some ways continue to do so.

Our society created the mindset of the perfect mind and body back when Francis Galton created the word ‘eugenics’ and the world decided that between Darwin’s evolutionary theory and his cousin, Galton and his creation of the word ‘eugenics’, that everyone became instantly obsessed with the human genome. To perfect the body and mind is to deny disability and separate from the imperfect human body to create a monster master race of the human genome that everyone will strive to be. This monster master race that everyone has been striving for since the late 19th Century, created the thinking that Hitler wanted to first exterminate people with varying degrees of impairments to eventually exterminating certain races, religions, and other peoples in the Holocaust because he thought society could do away without these differences.

I am sorry to say, but the world created the way Hitler eventually started the Holocaust when he thought about how to perfect the human genome, race, and religion and whether we like it or not. We create people like the way Hitler was in the world. However, this is not the only thing we need to take responsibility for, we also need to take responsibility for many other things throughout history both in our private lives and in the public.

Everyone is vulnerable in society, but we need to use that in a different way then the way we have been being vulnerable in the past. Supporting decisions that individuals make in the world is figuring out what will affect both the individual and society in a positive way. It is not about conforming to others, it is about being a leader of your own life. We just need to be vulnerable in the way we affect others and ourselves in the decisions we make in our life.

Much of society has been vulnerable to perfect a human genome that is constantly mutating, constantly changing, and constantly moving around in our bodies just like the universe is constantly moving. We can possibly change that, but we cannot stop that. Many people are obsessed with perfecting (and perfected) bodies and minds. However, perfecting a body and mind, is a very fine line between what we think is autonomy and what we think we need to depend on others for help. As society builds communities, we are connected to each other regardless of the way we identify through race, religion, sexuality, gender, or disability cultures. The way we represent ourselves is independent of being human because being human really means that we need to support one another regardless of what we want to influence since we all go through the same trials, tribulations, and rewards in life to form our identities and ideas.

Supporting decisions and the way we as individuals experience life is important. The person centered approach most are beginning to learn now, is something that is a part of human nature since the beginning of time. Yet, we have in the past, and in some ways still do, only respect the decisions some people make, while others we felt could not make decisions at all and could not think on their own. This is still is still happening today.

We need to give everyone the tools to decide and think about what they want in their life on their own even if it can be difficult with some individuals. This thinking presumed (and in some ways continues to presume) many people that their decisions are illogical and not right. Making decisions for our life depends on what kinds of decisions we are making. Some decisions we can decide on our own, but many other decisions we need the support from people we feel can assist us especially those close to us in making the best decision for making our life a success. There is always someone we can speak to that can help weigh the pros and cons of a decision in our life. For those who have more severe impairments, we need to help them as well to make their own decisions that are right for them regarding what the individual wants.

Whenever anyone makes a decision, it not only affects us, but it also affects everyone close to us in that decision, and in some ways can affect the rest of society as well. For example, when any one decides that they want to change the way their child is, they are making a conscious decision that will affect the way their child will feel about themselves and toward others as well. These decisions we make affect us individually in many different ways. If a child rebels against their parent’s decision to change who they are, then the child and the parents must take responsibility for their actions.

Deciding on changing the way a person is, also changes the way everyone feels about themselves. It is important to attribute every decision we make to the way we think about others and ourselves in our life. When we think about who we are as a person, we think about where we came from, and the people in our life that affect what we think. Sometimes what we think can hurt who we are and/or other people especially those close to us.

Though, the way we think depends on our experiences. For example, if we spitefully act because we think we want to hurt someone emotionally or physically, we essentially hurt ourselves in the process. The golden rule still stands to do good to others always, however, sometimes what we think is doing good in our mind, may be hurting others without even thinking it through. This is definitely true when Galton created eugenics that eventually became the study of genetics that led to the thoughts many people have had since then that has hurt society.

Autism Speaks may not have been thinking through in the past how they are helping Autistic people in society may not be actually helping Autistics everywhere, but they hopefully are starting to learn. However, every non-profit organization has been thinking irrationally including the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and many other Self-Advocacy organizations that also seem to not think about the way everyone feels. Yet, the self-advocacy and the Neurodiversity movements that were started by self-advocates helped (and continues to help) the parent movement begin to understand things every day.

Every organization has their own agenda to what they think they are doing is right. Yet, everyone and every organization, through medical charity or self-advocacy, cannot know exactly how everyone feels because we all have our own thoughts and experiences, that are different than others and ourselves.
When thinking about supported decision-making, everyone thinks about the way they want to live their life. For example, an individual may choose a different way of living than many other people do on an actual daily basis, but that does not mean that individuals in society cannot live a quality life. A quality life is subjective to what an individual actually feels they want in their life. No one can suggest a better quality of life or social skills to make others conform to a society that is not universally designed for everyone. We need to accept and protect the boundaries we individually make ourselves to the way others set their boundaries too. We need to remember who the person is as an individual and how individuality really is what everyone wants as a single mind of their own.

Society can lead to too much frustration because of a social construction of conformity to make everyone the same, as followers. Some may be more frustrated with who they are than others because their experiences with how society treated them or certain individuals who treated them in the past made them feel particularly unjustified and unaccepted living their life. This responsibility is what everyone needs to fully grasp and think about how to create a unified world with justice served.

Everyone has their own way of living. Everyone has their pride and joy that makes them feel good about who they are. Everyone does what is right for them, but no one has a right to tell a person that the way they are living is not quality of life and not conforming. Conforming is living in a world that is universally designed to fit everyone even if society does not understand that type of conformity. Many times some impairments create situations that make a person feel they cannot function enough and in fact need accessibility and universal design to help them get by or even thrive in society. So, why cannot we create universal design in everything we do in society so that everyone feels that they can live their life the way they know best? That is a good question because our society has always conformed to the idea that its citizens are too vulnerable and need to be corrected (or fixed) to fit in.

The world is a tough place to live in. Autistic people can be vulnerable, mostly, everyone is different to the person standing next to them, and simultaneously we can all be vulnerable to what others are thinking. However, it does not mean as individuals that vulnerability is a weakness. Everyone is an individual who can think on their own and are susceptible to others in the way many think.

Human culture is defined; all of us think whoever is standing out in that moment yelling their voice the loudest and often ranting a lot, is the leader. This is not true, we are all leaders of our own life, and self-directing, as we all need to believe that we are happy with who we are and connecting with others. The vulnerability everyone has is just a strength we have that we need to show others that we need support. So, we all get to support the decisions we all make in the best possible life we all want, including Autistic people.

In order to think through how to create more positive experiences with others in society, we can help by providing to strive for universally designing a world that everyone can live in with dignity, respect, getting their voices heard, and able to function with everyone else around them no matter what. Everyone can lead their own life whatever way they want to live. We need to do better and we need to ease the pains of so many people especially in our society, including Autistic and non-autistic alike.

FOCUS On The Present & How to Focus on Your Life

The 8 ways to Focus on the Present and How to Focus on your Life:::

1) How do you relate to people

2) How do you function in the world

3) How do you do your work

4) How do you interact and react to other people

5) Nothing about us, without us!!!

6) How I look physically

7) How Hygiene helps

8) How to focus on safety and security

These 8 practices are for everyone to remember and practice. Please always remind yourself of this and help others to know this too if they are struggling!

Find the connections you need to live your life the way YOU want to!!!


Let’s Give Everyone Their Chance For their Own Success!

Being Disabled is not the same as being able. It’s hard dealing with people who just don’t understand us as being a part of the Disability community. I have met many people who look at me like I am an Able-bodied person, but don’t realize the many things that disable me from the rest of society. Being Autistic has it’s many gifts for me, but I still am disabled by society’s standards. I am very capable of doing the many things like everyone else, but much of society does not understand how to accommodate me. For example, there are different ways I get overloaded and overstimulated that I get very frustrated with and angry because the way society acts. If many people realized it, they could change their perception of how to act.

Everyone is capable of doing whatever they know they can do, but for some reason their is a disconnect between Able-bodied people and the Disabled. Whether the person is on the Autistic spectrum, has Cerebral Palsy, has Down’s Syndrome, is physically handicapped, has a mental health condition, has a rare illness that disables them from society, blind, deaf, etc. People need to remember whether the person is visibly disabled or invisibly disabled, everyone has right to their personal accommodation from the rest of society to do what they love to do.

There is no reason why a Disabled person should be left in the dark by themselves to be pitied or placed in Residential Treatment Placement Centers or Treated differently among the Healthcare system because the rest of society does not understand us. These are unacceptable ways to treat anyone, so why is society always thinking of using pity and torture in healthcare for people with disabilities. It really is very unfair and unconscionable for any Human being to be treated in such a fashion. For instance, just because someone is Autistic does not mean they need constant supervision, but it does not mean we don’t need supervision at all like everyone else. Society does not understand Disability culture, in addition to not being very concrete with Autistics.

Society is too overwhelming for us as a result, where we become very angry, confused, and frustrated because of it. Much of society still thinks that organizations like Autism Speaks will have all the answers and the mainstream media thinks they have the answers too. Instead of seeking answers from anyone, seek answers from those people who are struggling with society; the people with disabilities themselves! There are some Disabled people who may seem Neurotypical, but really are very much disabled themselves. You can’t walk in other shoes until you have experienced what a Disabled person experiences every day from our unique way of being in this so-called Able-bodied/Neurotypical world. Many people just don’t understand and think that they can talk down at us, that we need constant supervision, and that we need constant attention. However, disability is a part of humanity!!!

No one can discover their own self-determination and taking responsibility if the society’s communities does not understand everyone. Self-determination is very important and being included in conversations with the rest of society who talks about us is even more important. Society is overlooking the many factors of what it means for any one to be successful. Success does not mean making a lot of money. Success just means working hard to learning to build our own necessities to live our life and having our own self-worth to just be who we are. In the every end to self-determination, anyone reaps their rewards, with money, but not before the end.

I have found that there are too many professionals and many other people working to help people with disabilities who just don’t understand how to physically and mentally be there for any of us. As being a part of the subcategory, in the Autistic community, which is very broad and diverse of people in the world, many people seem to not understand us at all even a lot of professionals. This is very sad!!! Though, many people are learning lately, there is still much more learning, accepting us, and understanding about autism and disability that everyone needs to know in order to create a better society.

As we are in the middle of March, we are almost beginning Autism Acceptance Month in April, which means we are 3 and a half months until Autistic Pride Day in June. I thank many people who are beginning to learn or are learning, but I think society still has a long road of learning and understanding until they can begin accepting. Much of society is still not very concrete, not very understanding, and certainly not very accepting of Human diversity of what people can do for themselves where any one can take ownership of who they are, building their life.

There are many people in society who just don’t think that Disabled people can be included, have their own voice, and strive for their own success. Some people, but not all, who do take on people with disabilities including Autistic people, use some people in the disability community as a Token, because they want us to spread their word of pity in order to be called an inspiration to us all. This is not right and not fair! However, much of society needs to learn that everyone can be successful in what they know they want to do, can have a supportive network of people like anyone else to live life, and be independent when we need to be.

Stay true to yourself and always remember that no matter what we all our living as Human beings in the vast Human spectrum!!


The Importance of Self-Advocacy

What is Self-Advocacy?  How do people define it?  I set out to define it for myself.    Here is my interpretation of self-advocacy:

Self-Advocacy empowers, Self-Advocacy is collective, Self-Advocacy inspires, Self-Advocacy gives us hope for a better tomorrow. Self-Advocacy discerns us at times when others realize we do have a “voice.”  Determination, Strength, eagerness to do well, and knowing who you are and what you can do is Self-Advocacy.

You may ask why I suddenly decided to define self-advocacy.  Well, what inspired and sparked my desire to define it for myself was when I read  Melanie Yergeau definition in her recent article and Colorado State University’s definition which I found to be the most useful and encouraging.

Here you can read what Colorado State University says about Self Advocacy:


Definition of a Self-Advocate

A Self-advocate:

  • Knows him/herself,
  • Knows what s/he needs and wants, and
  • Knows how to get what s/he needs and wants.

Self-advocacy is based upon a holistic model which looks at all the areas of an individual’s life. For example, a college student’s life might include the following areas…Daily Living, School/Work, Health, Relationships, Recreation/Leisure, Spirituality/Purpose. Life is not one dimensional therefore, it is important to acknowledge how each area impacts the functioning of other areas. It is also important to strive for some type of balance between life areas. This doesn’t mean that the same amount of time is spent in each life area, but it does mean that each area receives some attention.

Self-advocacy skills are essential in the college environment and in adulthood. However, becoming a self-advocate does not happen overnight. It is a lifelong process that is perfected as an individual gains a solid sense of who s/he is and an awareness of how to maximize strengths and work with challenges. Parents and families can play a key role in supporting and promoting the development of self-advocacy skills in their children before and after they go to college.

Melanie wrote an interesting statement in her blog which reads:

We are not trained to self-advocate; we are trained to be passive. What able-bodied people are taught is a right, disabled people are taught is a burden.

When a child is growing up, it is imperative for their parents to prepare them to be a functional adult in today’s world.  In preparation for this transition, parents will have to explore what their child’s strengths are and help build on them. The next step is teaching their child how they can use their strengths and compensate for their weaknesses in order to function in society.  When a child has any disability or specifically on the autism spectrum, the earlier detection of this difference, the more parents can work harder at future successes in the child’s life.  For example, when choosing to work with your child to know when to speak up, the child will have an easier time growing up in to adulthood. By the time these children become adults, they can really work on who they really are and not be enabled to regress.

It is better to teach any one to speak up at the right moment, then to teach them to shy away, notwithstanding teaching a child to self-advocate can be a difficult task since every child learns differently. When a child learns passive behavior, this  usually leads to passive-aggressive behavior when they are not taught to speak up right away and out of nowhere explodes in raging anger.

Can any one imagine teaching any child regardless of who the child is, to build up their strengths? It seems like having a full time job.  After careful teaching and planning, hopefully the child regardless of any disability speaks up  throughout adulthood and can handle most of their life on their own.

In retrospect, there are some children who seem like they need more help than other children with autistic spectrum disorders. In the end, they may not become fully functional adults like Ari Ne’eman, Temple Grandin, Michael John Carley, myself, or the many other people on the autistic spectrum succeeding joyfully.  Society needs to move forward as much as we can to give these children with either classic autistic disorder (multitude of sensory problems, seizures, and/or constant stimming) or children with a lesser condition of an autistic spectrum disorder to live in the world with some kind of success with strength they do have. Can you imagine if the people mentioned above didn’t receive the support they had when they were younger? They probably would not have succeeded at many things. Strengths are important for any one to acknowledge and the parents who continue to try to teach their children the right to speak up are proactively stimulating these children to be who they are.  Speaking for oneself is an important quality every one needs to obtain because every one requires the freedom to tell others what they want and need. Rather than thinking about all what is wrong with these individuals and fix society, parents should realize the repercussions of this idea and instead prepare their children for the future.  Isn’t it better for any one to be unique and different with creative ideas? What about every one in society receiving their rights to live? Every one should be chanting the phrase the Autistic Self Advocacy Network has been saying all along “Nothing about us, without us.”

What more can I say? Well, I hope you learn from what I am saying.

posting more soon,




Embrace it or Get rid of it

When I have spoken to different people about their viewpoints about Autism whether they are Neurotypicals or not, there are different ideas which strike a person about Autism. Some people believe we should cure Autism and dissolve the very nature of the condition. Some other people believe Autism is to be left untouched and embraced for the very gift it is given to that person who was given Autism. Autism is a gift from god, but some people with the gift they were given have an incredible amount of other conditions which prevent them from functioning in society. Sometimes the sensory issues are just too much for them or sometimes there emotions are just too much to handle. You can either embrace it if you can handle it or just get rid of it to become someone different entirely.

Some people believe Autism is an epidemic and are promoting to the whole world to eradicate Autism. Asperger’s Syndrome which is a part of Autism are showing other people in society, Autism does have a voice. Yes, it may be people with Asperger’s Syndrome talking and not people with Autistic Disorder, but it at least shows the voice Autism can have. People on the Autism Spectrum handle their Autism differently. It is hard to handle some of the very passionate gifts you receive from any body because very few people know how to express themselves after receiving a gift. Autism has the power to be able to intensify an interest and do great things with it, but a lot of people with Autism are too impaired to even handle it. I have spoken to a few different people about this and they told me there are some people with Autism who will just never succeed no matter what you do to help them. I am one of the lucky ones who can handle it better than the others who can’t even handle a whole hour with it. Unfortunately, other neurological conditions interfere often with Autism.

The way the Autism Spectrum is and the Neurotypical society are as well, we are all still human beings who are very emotional creatures. Someone commented on the PBS video for ‘This Emotional Life’ on YouTube in the trailer I am in stating that she or he has Asperger Syndrome and never gets lonely. Yes, people with Asperger Syndrome and Autism don’t get lonely as often as a Neurotypical person, but it does not mean we do not get lonely in the mix of spending time with our interest(s).

Neurotypicals are more social people than people on the Autism Spectrum. When someone grows up in a world where there are less people on the Autism Spectrum, there is more pressure on the person on the Autism Spectrum to be more social. When we are off doing our own thing, every one else around us tries to push us out of our own thing. This is not fair to anyone on the Autism Spectrum. If I could tell the world one thing to help a person on the Autism Spectrum, I would tell the world to let them do their own thing and express their interests as long as they are not hurting others. Let them perform their interest at their very best, but try and give some balance by teaching them a little bit of social skills a day. This way when these children become Adults, they have the necessary tools to do great things with their interest and succeed.

I know it is very hard to know when to let a child on the Autism Spectrum spend time with their interest and when to tell them it is time to learn social skills. It is like the laws of physics, sometimes it is very hard to balance things the way we want them to be. When one side goes up, the other side is bound to go down.

It’s your choice to embrace Autism or get rid of it, but in the end it is your life to do whatever you feel will make you happy. Remember we are all human with our emotions and sometimes their is a need to be with someone else to talk to. It is good to have friends.

posting again soon,