Tag Archives: just be who you are

Giving the best and doing the best we can do

The past 2 months have been very stressful and uncertain for me. I have been confused, I have been reluctant, I have been happy, I have been sad, I have been the unknown while I have not seen the unknown. Many times I try and sit down and get anything done, and I can’t. I am in shock from the world. I am trying hard to just sit and get my interests and writing done. May be it is because of my surgery I had, may be it is because I don’t know what else more to do.

For example, this past week was a struggle. I have had many things happen which upset me. Unfortunate circumstances happen, but at least we look forward to the positive events in our life. The main events I am looking forward to are my performances this week. I think it will be incredible to watch my acting/improvisation for all to see. To see what I have been working on and to also see the triumph I will go through in my life. It is not the most important thing to happen to me this week, but may be it will be start.

We have to be humorous when we think of our life.

Here is a video clip from Patch Adams movie with Robin Williams:

Now, Patch (Robin Williams) is standing on the cliff contemplating suicide. He pleads to g-d. He says g-d should have spent the 7th day on compassion instead of resting because man faces grave pain and suffering. G-d rested on the 7th day for a reason. He was tired because he worked really hard.

The main idea about life is the pain and the suffering is a part of life. We must be natural and let ourselves live our life. There will be ups and there will be downs. We must learn from each event in our life whether good or bad. If we didn’t suffer and have pain, life will be very boring. Every one has pain and happiness. You must see it in you and believe in yourself to constantly challenge yourself and not give up. Once you give up, you might as well be cured of whatever pain and suffering you may have. I know it may be hard since there are people who suffer more than others, but we must strive past this.

People may not believe you have the potential to do something, but once you do it, you prove them wrong. I have been quite upset with my friend’s verses to me about what they think. It does not have to end, it is just the beginning. The beginning of another story we add to our books. People don’t like seeing the best because they become threatened and insecure. In any field, there are always people who feel insecure. I need to look at myself and continue to do the same things I have always done to get the job done. I should not care about those people who seem envious because I am doing what I know is good.

Here is a quick quote from last Sunday: “Can you say boots without shoes?” Really, I am serious, can you?

My feelings for justice will prevail. I just need to believe.

take it easy,


Being Influenced is not the greatest thing in the world

I am here in a midst of generations far and wide. I am here to listen and be heard at the same time. I am here, so what more can I say. Some people feel deseparate, some people feel insecure, some people feel we need to be secure and strong within. I feel somewhere in between at times when people try and influence me to their best interests. The only person whose interests are important to me, is me. I know I haven’t posted as much as I did in the past, but that is going to change. I have so much I want to do in this lifetime.

1) I want to excel in my career.
2) I want every body to think more realistically by accepting who they are no matter what.
3) I feel this economy went wrong because of greedy people, some of who don’t want to accept to not be greedy anymore.
4) We all have to be happy in the end. For some people this is harder than others, but we must all try.

There are many ways in which our life has better meaning and our life only becomes better the day we strive to move forward. For this life becomes better. Every body is their own Superhero. Whether a hero in style or just a person moving forward, as long as we move forward, we are the hero for ourselves.

Take for instance a story from this week. I had gotten upset about some comments a friend of mine told me on Friday of last week in the afternoon outside his place of work. It was comments which made me feel very angry inside. It made me feel like I was nothing. I thought it over for a week and realized I should not let any comments influence my ideas about me. My friend could think whatever he wants to think, but if I feel I can do something, I will just do it. Every one needs to be stronger inside not letting certain comments get to them otherwise you become very weak. I need to brush off whatever anyone says to me which is negative.

Remember Yoda Wisdom, “Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to suffering.” We become weak when we fear something, if we just let ourselves be, we become better.


My way in to this world

Some things take a lot of time finding our way in to the world. As an Aspie, I am trying to find different ways for others to accept my special skills unique to me. Ultrasound is a field where my drive to excitement excels at a rapid pace. I know the field is hard enough. I feel I have made mistakes in my past, but not with Ultrasound. I feel I entered in to a field where some tech’s I meet feel I am not worth their time because they don’t understand the way I do things. Instead of just doing Echocardiography, I wanted to do Vascular Technology as well. Many tech’s seem desperate to want to get in to Echocardiography. Move over and watch a superstar at hand to learn.

As soon as I started doing Echocardiography, I realized I was a superstar. It made me feel good to know I can do something so well. In the back of my mind, my interest of the whole Circulatory system which would include Vascular Technology kept me wanting this as well. To me, I need to see the whole picture including the whole Circulation of Blood in the body.

I realized Vascular Technology was very hard for me. I had to and continue to have to work extra hard at keeping up with the pace of Vascular Technology and the skill set. I became increasingly angry when I could not do it. I am registered in Cardiac and Vascular now. I did it! 🙂 I beat the odds, I think. I still have a lot to go because Vascular Technology is still very hard at times harder than echocardiography by my standards. Although I am getting better at Vascular Technology, I am still a superstar at echocardiography.

I still remember everything I learned from school in Echocardiography and from my clinical/volunteer experiences at Montefiore Vascular Lab and a special someone who taught me Echo. I will seem to remember many things I learned forever. A feature my Aspergers gives me.

Now being an Aspie in this field is the hardest part because Vascular Technology is hard! The truth is it has more to do with coordination which can be a problem for someone on the Autism Spectrum. Many forms of studies lies in Vascular Technology with more than one set of protocols. This can be a problem for somebody on the Autism Spectrum who likes patterns and routines like myself. To do my work, I need to have my categories in my mind burst out at once. For example, when doing a Venous Reflux study, I need to have one hand on the the probe with light touch so I don’t compress the vein and the other hand has to be ready to press the doppler and augment the leg at the same time. If nothing is in-sync, then you lose the picture, lose the doppler, and have to start all over again. It is like a very complicated video game. I compare Legend of Zelda Nintendo Wii game to Vascular Technology while I compare a more simplified game of Nintendo Wii to Echocardiography. I love Legend of Zelda, but it is hard.

Now some of you may be thinking, “Geez, Echocardiography is hard too!” Well, to me Echocardiography is EASY. I can follow a protocol better with Echocardiography. Although I still like to see the whole picture of the Circulation of blood in the body which is why I wanted to do Vascular Technology as well. It is important to always see the whole picture. If I just studied the heart without the circulation, I would be LOST. BTW, I am getting pretty good at some of the things I need to do with Vascular Technology.

I am glad I learned about Vascular Technology anyway. I do really good studies overall. I always hear my friends tell me that I need to speed up for production. I can do the protocols, but I need to think about it more in order to do it. My brain processes certain tasks at a time.

I know this is a long posting, so I will post later on…

My WAY in to this world is following along and I will continue to shine and perform at the highest levels!