Tag Archives: bullying

Recognizing Good Relationships is Important When Networking

It’s important to recognize the people willing to help us after we have helped them. It’s important to know what encourages us to network with people who are willing to walk a two-way street with us. Autistic people tend to not be able to recognize those people who are not willing help one another. Instead, we tend to do too much for a person with nothing in return a lot of times. In return, we learn from that situation that relationships are one-way. However, that is not the way relationships run smoothly.

Because we don’t recognize a true relationship, we tend to embark on people that don’t want to help us in return. Everyone has an agenda and wants their agenda taken care of. Many people don’t really care about any one else’s agenda unless, everyone else’s agenda is the same as there’s.

When getting involved with researchers who do research about Autism, a lot of researchers have an agenda that typically is not the same as what most Autistic people want and feel too. Researchers tend to try to promote their studies because they have an agenda too, to sell. If you get involved with a researcher, you should know what you are getting involved with and if you can gain something from it. For example, if it affects you, go for it! They want to better understand Autistic people, but you always need to analyze the situation.

Needless to say, we need to be prudent with potential new networking opportunities. For example, I have networked with many people for the past few years and have grown to know a lot of new people in my life. However, now it’s time to start growing that population of people I know into a fulfilling two-sided relationship. I have known a lot of people for a while, but have not really known what they can do for me and what I can do for them. It is nice to know people, but it’s important to recognize what the two people can do for each other. I think I have grown a lot as a person and being the adult I am now, I realize I need to focus on what I believe in not so much of what others believe in.

My belief is in Neurodiversity and the social model of disability. This does not mean that I don’t believe in medication helping many people already, it just means I believe in people putting work into their own development toward self-determination even if that means that they need medication to help with that. Any one should be able to do that without other people’s criticisms. Medications can help people, but it’s not for everyone. A lot of Autistic people have already compensated for doing things on their own without medication, but a lot of Autistic people do still need medication to help them through their daily lives for various reasons. The medications typically relieve anxiety and depression related to trying to adapt to society’s standards, but there are other medications people take too.

By being a self-determined person with or without medication, we need to recognize who will do for us and in return do for them. Not everyone will be willing to do for me or you because not everyone believes in the same things. There are many people who have different agendas and a lot of times they conflict with ours. The idea is to find the right people who have similar agendas so that our work can be done.

I have found that I have been in relationships with people in the past, who just wanted to take advantage of me. When it was time for those people in the relationship to do for me, I was ultimately buried in the ground. It took me time to get myself up and going, but here I am moving along with self-determination for the past few years. I continue to learn about relationships.

A lot of people who say they want to learn more about Autistic people and teach Autistic youth, asking an Autistic adult for help, actually don’t want to compensate or help the Autistic adult’s agenda in anyway who graciously helped them in their struggles who learned more about autism. It makes me more cautious in wanting to help these people who ask for my help now. Many people in general, really don’t care about a two-way relationship I’ve noticed. People in general just want their agenda in action and when their agenda has been taken care of, they really don’t want to help the other person’s agenda. Autistic people generally become very confused by this approach in society because we expect something in return. It should be an honest exchange between people and caring about each other.

I have noticed some Autistic people I have met who take advantage as well because they learned from society that this type of one-way exchange is appropriate. However, by changing society, we can create situations where everyone no matter who you are, helps each other without taking advantage or bullying. Thankfully, I starting working a job now where my relationship with the job and myself help each other. It’s definitely a two-way street. Life teaches us certain things where people want to take advantage of others, but once you start recognizing the one-way relationships, you get to recognize the two-way relationships more.

Happy Networking!


Obama won a Crucial Debate, For us Americans, and the World!

There is no clearer decision than voting for Barack Obama for a 2nd Term as President maintaining stability and a prosperous future. He is the best candidate at this time that we need for our country. We need to see how President Obama is creating this country to be better than it has in years. We should all be looking at what the grass looks like now instead of looking at other people have in the world. We can create unity, peace, and balance every where. The United States now is an important part of the world. President Obama has been trying to get things back on track since he took office in 2009.

This country needed changes from a lot of the corruption that has been going on throughout the nation in healthcare, oil, Wall Street, and many other industries. We need to focus our attention on helping other people and educating every one. There are too many people in the United States who don’t have an education whether it being a formal education to learn basic skills to vote, learning careers like engineering, other trades, and becoming a teacher. Instead most people want a career they can initially make a lot of money in. There are so many different careers for so many different people. Every one has a talent to do something they can put their mind to. The more people branch out in to other careers, the more diverse this country will be. Eventually when putting enough time in to a career you love, the money flows in more.

President Obama needs to focus his attention on keeping the Affordable Care Act in place for our future, educating every one to understand what’s going on in the United States and the world, and creating jobs through the many different career ideas around. He needs to also make sure trade schools and colleges and graduate schools are affordable for every one, and giving the people what what we need: continued strong leadership to insure he is leading us in doing what is necessary for this country. We do not need to focus most of our energy on the military because otherwise we would be creating more wars and more innocent murder victims of war.

War is negative and negative energy creates chaos and destruction. Instead every one needs to settle their emotions, not judge any one, and spend their time immersing themselves in focusing their energies to help one another. How does war begin? Well, let’s take the first step by saying war begins by 1 person bullying another person, it’s that simple. Bullying is a problem since bullying is like a contagious virus which spreads. For instance, when someone gets bullied at some point in their life, they are more inclined to become the bully later in life. Interesting, huh? We need to educate people about Neurodiversity, Sexuality, Religion/Theology, or other Cultures to eventually decrease bullying so every one will understand and accept.

Unfortunately, it will take a long time to end bullying because bullying is also a part of human nature. Throughout history so many wars big or small have been started. Wars could be as small as something that goes on at school to family wars to wars as big as when the whole world gets involved. Bullying becomes a problem when any one around the world can not handle their own emotions at the time and decide to antagonize other people. It happens in politics all the time. It is very sad this happens.

President Obama needs to keep the United States of America united as we continuously stand together without any one feeling out of place or taken advantage of or bullied by other Americans. America is 50 states, 50 states which are supposed to be united. The President of the United States is the person to keep this country united and bring balance to every one. I feel President Obama has the capabilities to do this because he cares about the people especially the most vulnerable; like people with disabilities like myself. It’s so important to understand and accept who you are and what other people want to live their life. It’s important for people to give back once they make it big, but it’s also important for those people to enjoy their life too. People who have millions or billions of dollars probably don’t need all that money to live. However, it’s important to understand there is always a reason why those people earned that amount of money. A lot of times the money gets to people’s heads and they forget where they came from.

My hope is to get as many people to vote for President Obama because he is a caring and humble man who is trying to create unity in this United States of America.

This is going to be a great legacy for the United States under President Barack Obama, I have faith in him!!

Posting more soon,


What Bullying really does to a Person!

Bullying is a horrible experience any one can go through. Some of the most painful impacts bullying results in are not being able to approve of the things we want to do, always seeking approval from others. Some of the most painful bullying experiences can detract us from society. Some victims of bullying even commit heinous crimes like suicide or homicide, while others live a life of isolation and fear. Some victims of bullying try staying strong even with their anxiety in constant hyper mode. These people who are victims with their extreme anxiety tend to want to please, seek approval, and can become very annoying to the rest of society. While some victims don’t let it get to them. Ultimately, Bullying is a problem when the victims of bullying feel too much pain and sorrow.

There is a saying I say to myself to help me, “Never let any one be a prisoner of you, always be yourself, and ignore those who don’t care to embrace you.”

The problem with society is a person who lives in an area where every body around them is different than who they are, are going to be bullied. It not only is a problem with disability, it also begins with any kind of difference. One such bullying event in history was the Holocaust in Nazi Germany. As we remember what the Nazi’s did to anyone who was not like them, this should also make us understand bullying inhibits are growth.  We remember the hurt, the pain, and suffering of those who were different than the Nazi’s. Part of who was different than the Nazi’s, were my faithful Jewish people living in Eastern Europe at the time. However, any one who did not conform to the Aryan race, was murdered in concentration camps. They murdered millions of Jewish people. However they also murdered many homosexuals, gypsies, people with physical or mental disabilities, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and some others who protected these people. Nazi Germany lead by Adolf Hitler was the biggest and most destructive bullying event in history. Unfortunately, other forms of bullying still goes on today. When is it going to stop?

We need to move past the labeling, classifying, and judging of people. Finally emerging to embrace our Human identity for everything that we are. Being a victim of bullying only inhibits us from growing to be a person. A lot of victims of bullying try to be a bully to other people who they meet. It’s contagious! However some people know how to just live their lives even after a bullying event. Unfortunately bullying another person is ineffective in building a true connection with another Human being. You may curse, scream, yell, cry, or isolate yourself; but, you can’t block it out of your existence. Instead we have to fight it, stand up for who we are, and believe in ourselves. No body can take our humanity away. It’s time to learn, take a deep breath, and enjoy who comes in to our lives to be a friend.

Here is a poem I just wrote:

A Boiling Pot Spills on the Floor,

by J.S.R.

Melting away in a pot of boiling water,
I begin to shatter with a casual falter.
Suddenly I see my parts
all over the steam floating
just about anywhere.
My eyes watch my thoughts
My ideas,
and my personal identity
spill over to the floor.
Someone walks by to check the pot
and steps right on my parts like
its nothing.
My eyes in the pot wince
with pain as though
a person has hurt my dignity.
The person looking in the pot
screams with sudden excitement like
he had seen a ghost.
Another walks right by to see
what is by
the screaming person, who
replies “I have never seen anything like it”
The other person says “What?”
the reply was “I just saw eyes
staring with pain inside this pot.”
As the two people look inside the pot,
they watch two eyeballs staring at them
with immense pain.
The pot screams out a rumbling boil of water
and the two people try running away
fearful for their lives,
but stopped dead in their tracks
when they saw a smiling person emerge
from the background of the pot.
A dignified, happy person emerged
to say “Be happy, be kind, be thoughtful,
be the person you were meant to be,
and never step on dignity again.”
And so the two people look up and smile back.

(I hope you enjoyed reading latest post and my Slice of life on Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism !! Have a wonderful weekend!!


Stems from Bullies in this world

The stems from bullies in this world come from the insecurities many people have. People tend to bully because they don’t know what else to do with themselves. Many people who are Autistic like myself have been victimized too many times by bullies even today. It is a constant battle for me to conquer over a bully. I have been wondering where bullies stem from and came up with a theory of what a bully can be thinking in their mind. May be some of the stems from bullies in this world could be how a bully can not accept certain things in their life while at the same time not having the security to unmask their true self. An individual who becomes a bully does so because other people in their life most likely a parent or guardian hurt them. The hurt creates anger and more pain to spread to other people.

This negative energy develops the pain in everybody. Unfortunately, this is a normal human reaction to feeling pain. I wonder where the first pain from the first bully developed. Could it be from being in a war? or, Could it be from seeing violence in some other way? and What is the difference between war and violence anywhere? We need to teach as early as we can the positive euphoric nature in which a person can always feel. The people who have grown up and felt the pain from negative experiences in their life need to find an outlet to talk to someone who can help them deal with the pain constructively. This way the pain does not move from person to person.

We need to all think twice about how we interact with a person who we meet or know for quite some time. A simple word can cause catastrophic consequences. At the same time, the few who are strongest need to ignore the simple word (s) that a person tells them to continue doing good things in this world. Negative energy and talk like even a sneer or a way of expressing yourself in a jealous manner by putting emphasis on a certain word can be destructive to any one. Jealousy goes a long way. I have learned this is human nature and may be jealousy is the stems to bullying, but I do not know for sure since there are many factors to bullies.

More posts come later on,