Tag Archives: Boundaries

The Importance of Being A Role Model for Others

Many people need role models to be able help facilitate and empower their life. A role model we seek out, helps us build who we are by giving us the opportunity to reach for our proudest moments. There are many things we look for in a role model. A role model needs to be a responsible person who knows who they are, how they want to be represented, knows how to take care of their own needs, and knows how to get what they want. It’s important for a role model to be able to set and enforce their boundaries for themselves whether it is a verbal, non-verbal, or a physical boundary we set for each other. It’s not good to have no boundaries because other people can easily take advantage of us.

By setting boundaries as I am learning to do every day, we balance between what we want the public to do for us and how we want to have privacy. Many people in society tend to overstep their boundaries to misrepresent others, and influence their peers about what they think we are or should be doing. Many people also talk about others without the presence of other people around without giving the other person a chance to respond. A good role model would respect boundaries, know the meaning of YES or NO, listen to other people’s preferences, being honest about their actions, be accommodating to others, and be compassionate. No one can dictate what the other person should or needs to do.

There is a way for everyone to interact in the world expressing their individuality. Some people say that not making eye contact and flapping in public is distracting to other people. There are many people who absolutely need to flap, rock, spin, etc because of the way they are with the environment around them. Although, people who can make eye contact and don’t stim, need to remember that it does not mean they aren’t or can’t be role models to others.

Being a role model is a challenge for many people and is a life long process. Not everyone is a role model everyone can look up to, but it’s important to try hard to be an important person in someone else’s life. Accommodating people is important with how we interact with the world and has importance in knowing that people care. By accommodating, we need to listen, I need to listen. I am learning every day to listen and accommodate other people. Life is a double helix of communication. I’m on one side, and the other person is on the other side while we are all attached to a line. We all represent different colors on the double helix representing our individual humanity.

Our first role model is our own parents. However, not everyone I have met consider their parents role models for them. Although the parents we are born from are who we seek to be our role models first. Parents are there to teach us about love. Love is important because if we don’t know what love is, then we become lost. There are 2 ways to love: by physical intimacy with a romantic partner or by showing compassion to the other person through embracing the other person’s life. We listen and help the person because we want to be a role model for that person to spread love. Loving a person is about showing them that we are there for them. That we care and we adore every aspect of who they are. We want to help guide them in to their life to be a role model and productive member of society. Sometimes people or organizations suggest things to others because the majority of people are doing what they suggest. We need to follow our path, our vision, and to be able to glide into our future. Sometimes it’s not the most traveled path where everyone goes, but it’s our path that matter for each person.

Respect individuality and love the person for who they are because some day they will pay it forward by teaching compassion, love, and honesty for what humanity is.

I am on the right path now and can’t wait to learn while just starting school!

OUT, J

Reflecting on having good Solid Boundaries

This post is about how to express ourselves by creating boundaries and accepting other people’s boundaries. There is a list we need to make to create boundaries. It’s important to have them. If we don’t have boundaries, then people will walk all over us like we are moving mud down a hill.

Here is a list of things to remember to create your own boundaries that help me:

1) Set yourself up in situations with others where you can be trusted
2) Make a list of all the personal things and people you trust to tell these personal things to
3) When talking to other people randomly, remember the ABC’s of conversational skills, a) Attuning to what the other person is asking so as to not appear without a filter, b) remembering the B information to give is not the same as the A information which is your personal life, c) Be Concrete and Conspicuous to what the other person is asking, i.e, Never let the other person take control of your life, it’s your life not theirs!!
4) Remember if you are in a private confidential setting talking to someone or in a public domain, for example, therapist, family, or close friend. (by close friend I mean someone who cares about you and you know a long time)
5) Disregard questions you find too offensive to answer because people are being nosy!!
6) Set up a day to vent in private room to meditate to relax about things you don’t need to say, but feel the urge to say, then express that to the list of people you can trust.
7) Not every one is a friend you can trust, there are different levels of friendship. Trust needs to be built in time.

Boundaries are hard to build, but with practice it can be done. It might take a long time to build trust with other people. In the end it will happen and you will know that boundaries exist. Acceptance is not just about accepting yourself, but accepting others too. By accepting yourself and others, you accept and create boundaries between others.

A better way of life is being strong about who you are and what you can do to not be pushed around. One thing I definitely learned in my life is just because someone smiles at you does not mean they are being a friend, they may just want more information from you. What is a smile anyway? If we can not trust a simple smile, then what can we trust.

Instead we need to be stronger and more guarded at what we say to others. People like us for several reasons. It’s important to remember to be endearing, kind, smart, bright, positive, trusting, stronger, and the awesome person that we can be. I know a lot of people want to get to know me. They feel they are attracted to good energy when with me. Though I have boundaries too and care about certain people in my life. It’s good to get to know others, but it’s also good to create situations for trust. I feel I need to reflect on myself, my family, and the friends I have. I reflect on This Emotional Life series I was on when Chevy Chase said he only has 3 friends. Well, if he only has 3 friends, then that is amazing since most people are lucky to have just 1 good friend.

Facebook or Twitter is interesting because people are obsessed with how many friends or followers they have. People have 5,000 friends on Facebook or 1,000 followers on Twitter, but how many of those people are truly friends. I do think social media is a good thing because it makes the a world better place that is well connected. It’s good to be connected on social media because it’s a learning technique to be with other people. It creates ways to interact with people who you can relate to you and give added support. It also helps with interactions. It’s important to be connected to someone you relate to and share with that person. The world is becoming a connected network, but we still need to know that a person is not necessarily a friend at first site. Every one has an agenda and every one wants something from another person. So remember to keep your boundaries handy on a piece of paper you keep in your wallet as to open it when you feel it is necessary to remember what we wrote to ourself. If someone knows they can take my hand for instance, they will take my whole arm and eventually my body. We own our mind, body, and spirit for a reason. We can’t just take it for granted and just give it away! Remember you own yourself and I own me. We are all in control of our own lives. We need to take it easy to respect ourselves and others.

Have a good Mother’s Day!!


OUT, J

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Respecting others’ Boundaries

When it comes to respecting others’ boundaries, many people these days develop difficulties with it. How can people respect some one else’s life? When a person becomes a celebrity, the paparazzi never knows how to respect that person’s life. Every one has a right to live their life no matter what and are entitled to things they want to keep private.

The problem which occurs with a so-called “Celebrity” or “Politician” is there is always someone trying to shake the ladder to bring them down. For instance, President Obama made it to the top and is working very hard to help the country the best way he can. There are many opposing rebels who never liked him and are trying to discredit all the things he has done and will do in the future preventing the President from doing his job. WE are in a crisis now because of the previous years of President George W. Bush and many other factors before him. The problems the United States has now, developed over a period of time and no one should put blame on just 1 person. President Obama is the one of many people trying to do something about it, but this is not a unique story. There are other people who reached the top who have been affected by others’ who disrespected boundaries and did whatever they could to bring down the ‘house’.

By respecting other people, we have to think about how we would feel in the other person’s shoes. For example, if a friend or family member is going to the bathroom wouldn’t you want to just wait for them to finish in the bathroom rather than barging through the door. Respect is important because if you don’t respect other people how can other people respect you.

Next time you see a person in your daily lives, please take two minutes to think about their feelings and respect their boundaries.

What happened to privacy? The internet and media have disrupted our privacy. However, I think every one wants and loves to be in the spotlight because people love to feel special. It is good to get your name out there to show people who you are, but how much is too much. The Oprah Winfrey Show had a segment on Friday how being on camera is an addiction.

Privacy is an issue these days, but the biggest issues are having no respect for others’ boundaries and those people who have poor self-esteem unless they are in the spotlight.

Remember that show a long time ago, Smile, you are on Candid Camera! Human nature also reveals people’s addictions with the media.

Work Hard, Be Respectful, Think a year older, Listen, Learn, Live your life!!

Reach out

Evaluate yourself

Search for your self

Person First

Educate yourself

Consider others

Think and process before you act

posting more soon,

OUT, J

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