Category Archives: Aspergia Greets

Aspergia GREETS Episode 11

a song plays by marvin gaye,

I’ve been really tryin , baby
Tryin to hold back these feelings for so long
And if you feel, like I feel baby
Come on, oh come on,

Let’s get it on
Lets get it on
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on

We’re all sensitive people
With so much love to give, understand me sugar
Since we got to be
Lets say, I love you

There’s nothin wrong with me
Lovin you
And givin yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true

Don’t you know how sweet and wonderful, life can be
I’m askin you baby, to get it on with me
I aint gonna worry, I aint gonna push
So come on, come on, come on, come on baby
Stop beatin round the bush….

Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on
Let’s get it on

King Bhuvanesh and Queen Vatsala play this song while dancing on the terrace. Watching are the children and me, my latin woman, F, K, Ela, Suemami, and the two maltese dogs eating grasses and smelling the King’s dog’s butts.

Well, what had happened to the dogs, well, nothing, latin woman is always holding them on so tightly and never letting them go.

Suemami and Ela walk around everyone else to the King and Queen to talk to them quietly in the other room.

In the room where the four of them are talking,

Suemami: your majesty the king, may we stay for the big dinner and dance coming up tomorrow night.  We need a place to stay as well since we are all coming from afar.

King: my dearest Suemami and Ela, yes the big dinner and dance coming up tomorrow would be lovely for you and your group to come to especially with the man from aspergia because we would like him to write up in his article something he learned from our party.

Queen: yes, and my king, you forget to tell them that they’re rooms outside facing the north end of the castle you can take. There are only 2 rooms so you may have to share. But, Suemami, its going to cost you to stay in those rooms.

Suemami: what do you mean?

Queen: Well, we have been trying to find a wife for our distant cousin in southern India, and we would like you to marry him.

Suemami:  I shall get everyone into those rooms on the north side of the castle now.

Queen: good.

The dinner and party with a guest list of over 500 doesn’t start until two days from now.  So, everyone with me has two days left in the land of India to explore the castle.  The castle is very ancient and Suemami tells everyone that it was built oringinally in prehistory, but has been renovated and expanded with each succeeding royalty.

Before anything else could happen Ela and K are found kissing each other by every body when we enter into the rooms.  K insists on rooming only with his new found love Ela.   They both can’t stop groping each other until Suemami tells them both that there has to be seperate rooms.   That leaves K feeling frustrated.

At that moment, K gets really angry and starts to yell out: Hey now, Ela and I just got married so we have to be together now.

Suemami looks at an embarrassed Ela: What?

K: You heard me. We both just got married now so this is our honeymoon.

Suemami: I don’t think so, that is impossible Ela was with me the whole time.

K: Well, we are, and we are having our honeymoon before the party, right?

Ela blushes not saying anything.

Suemami allows K and Ela to be in the same room together.

That leaves the dogs to go play with the maltese dogs in the castle fields where they will sleep.  Suemami and F in the same room. And me and latin woman in another room.

What can you expect more?

The night was quite interesting as the next day was the dinner and party.

The 3 couples and the dogs were wailing away in the night.  The loudest were K and Ela.

Then pregnant latin woman gives a big wailing sound which suggested she was in pain, but it was a false alarm because she felt the movements of her baby inside of her.

(alright here is more anticipation)

out, J

Aspergia Greets Episode 10

As brother Sveny and his new wife Britannica went to the land of Savannah Africa for a moment of their greetings of a new land in a honeymoon, Pregnant latin woman and I head off on the dragons to a far off land of India. In India, F and K wanted to meet up with a friend and his family. A storm hit while approaching the land of India. The skies were greyer than grey and melting with rain. The wind blowing so hard that the dragons were trying to breathe fire through their mouths and nothing was coming out.
Then, a lightening rod hit one of the dragons in the head and all of a sudden the dragon fell on to the land mass nearby the lake of the land of India. The dragon turns back in to K. K has a very large bump on the sides of the head and ontop as well.
The rest of us landed not so tragically as K landed. It was bumpyand the other dragon wanted to eat some fish from the lake before landing. Then he found K and landed onto the tree beside.
A few minutes later as usual F and K wobbled around as if they had something to drink or seemed to be having vertigo. All together they breathed out fire from their lungs as if to get the last dragon breath out of their mouths only to realize that a beautiful land of indian woman standing right beside them.
F: geez (gulp) omg, she looks beautiful. May I ask you madam, what is your name?
K: No, she is for me.
land of india woman: Gee boys, I sense some tension with one of you (as K decides to hit F in the arm about it), for the both of you, My name is Suemami and this is my sister adoring you K, and her name is Ela.
She points at her sister hiding behind the huge rock as she appears slowly away from the rock.
Suemami: I notice that the both of you are wondering what to say or do. My sister and I are here because we are friends with some people that live nearly 50 miles down the road east. Apparently you both have met this family before. May I ask how did you get to know the famous royal family of India.
F: I am speechless. I can not remember.
K: What are you talking about? You remember that time ten years back when we hit the accelerator of the door and fell in to this land before. Remember? And you and I had dinner with the royal family of India and the King told us that he sensed all of us meeting again.
Me: what are you talking about? this is my trip.
K: shut up, I am reminicing to my pal about an experience with the doors before.
F: Oh yeah, let’s go see him and his family again. It would be so nice and I really loved the food and I really do need food for thought right now.
K: sure you do (pointing at his fat stomach).
Suemami: Alright, but me and my sister want to help all of you enter through the land since we are in difficult and dangerous terrain. (as everyone notices they are on top of a huge Plateau)
So as the trek begins through the land of India to the castle, K begins talking to Suemami’s sister Ela who he first notices her body first which is crystal clear brownish skin dressed wearing only a swimsuit.
K begins: So may I ask you Ela, how beautiful your body is?
Ela blushes and walks toward her sister.
K runs over to her: Ela, I really admire you and would like to show you something. (He takes out a stone) Ela, this is my father’s stone from when he gave this to me when I was little. Its not just an ordinary stone but a symbol of attraction and love. And I want you to have it so whenever you want me, you just talk into the stone and I shall appear.
Ela takes the stone and F gives K a long hard look as if K just did something bad.
K runs back to F.
F: what are you doing?
K: Just trying to get myself a beautiful woman to …
F: I heard enough. I thought you have a woman back at the land of Latin.
K: Well, she won’t know.
F: GEEZ, you will never learn.
K and F don’t speak much else for the rest of the trip.

I run over to the two Indian women because this is my trip to other lands and I want to learn.
me: Hello Suemami and Ela. I am so sorry what one of my guides said to your sister if he was bothering her.
Ela: He wasn’t bothering me. He just asked me to marry him.
me: What?
Ela: He gave me the symbol of love and asked me to marry him because I am so beautiful.
me: uh huh, but where are you going to get married and when?
Ela: I need to talk to my father.
me: By all means how old are you?
Ela: I am 27, but father arranges the marriages.
me: Oh, I see. do you know he is not from this land.
Ela: Yes, my sister tells me he is from latin.
me: Ela, congratulations and i will congratulate my guide too.
I am running over to F and K.
me: Congratulations on getting married to Ela soon.
me: Yes, you asked her to marry you.
K: No, I didn’t I gave her an ordinary stone I found near the lake and told her some stupidity that whenever she looks in the stone I will appear and …
me: Well, you better talk to her.
F: oh no my friend.
K runs back over to Ela.
Ela: what is the matter?
K: that stone I just picked up from the lake, I thought it meant nothing at all.
Ela: that stone you picked up, is a real symbol of love that you only give to the woman you love and want to marry. Apparently now I must go to father and tell him so that he can arrange our wedding.
K walks away wondering…
F: so, what happened?
K: I really do have to marry her now.
F: what about your woman at the land of latin.
K: in another lifetime.
F: well, may be just may be you will learn in another lifetime to not pick up just anything and give it to a woman.
K: yeah you are right.
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, its off the way they go.
me, latin woman, F, K, and K’s supposed fiance Ela, and Suemami find their way through the path toward the castle. They all come to a dead stop. The Plateau ended, what to do next?
F and K without realizing it turn back into dragons. The rest of us hop on them and we fly off until we see a castle in the distance.
Ela to me: Is my soon to be husband really switching from human to dragon at most instances.
me: yes, but it is an old aspergian magic that is doing it and he and his friend have the magic turned off in less than 80 days left when the journey ends…
Ela: oh, so where are you from, then?
me: I from the land of Aspergia. Greeting the many other lands of this world.
Ela: oh, I read about you in the world newspaper. You are the Man who seeks to learn other lands and cultures and are aspergian. I always wanted to go to aspergia. My father once went there nearly 10 years ago, but he hardly talks about it. May be you can meet him and he will talk to you.
Suemami: yes, father will talk to this aspergian, probably the only one he will talk to.
Ela: by the way, what is this woman doing with you?
me: I accidentally fell in love with her and now we are having a baby and I need to bring her back with me to Aspergia to live with her now. Yet, I do not want to upset the ways of Aspergia that already have set ways. I didn’t realize I’d be doing this. (whispering now) I was seeing Natalia back in Aspergia and now I am no longer with her, but with this woman.
Ela whispers back: Well, love happens in mysterious ways unfortunately, so take it and hold on to it and live your life with soon to be your new wife.
(Back to normal talk)
The dragons arrive on top of a castle rooftop unsettled and turn back in to F and K.
F and K wobble around with vertigo. Ela comforts her new fiance.
the King walks through the door with a big grin on his face and seeing his long lost pals F and K. Beside the King are his wife the Queen and his eldest daughter and son, princess and prince.
(To be continued)

out, J

Aspergia Greets Episode 9

And I know that everyone has been dying to read the next episode of Aspergia Greets to find out what happens next…

Here it is:

Lying on the  tent sleeping bags inside a big tent on the land of Aspergia, are latin woman and I having a moment or two.  She sings a song so pure and true and it goes a little like this:

(cirlce game, by Joni Mitchell)

latin women: Here is a song I want you to listen to me sing. Don’t comment while I sing it.

I listen on…
Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when you’re older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him,
Take your time, it won’t be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
There’ll be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

latin woman: So, what do you think? do you know that song before?

me: no, what is it supposed to mean?

latin women: its supposed to mean our lives are a circle and we do things, but in the end we live by making a new life. you get my drift…

me: still, I don’t understand.

latin woman: do I have to spell it out for you?

me: huh

latin woman:  we are going to have a baby.

me:  geez, my brother is getting married the next day and there are two things to celebrate, but boy I never imagined I would be a romantic person during my trip to other lands.

latin woman:  its a song that was sung to me when I was little and I always loved it, though it sounds better in my native language.   I learned it this way for you.

me: gee whiz, I didn’t know that. this sounds like a moment of a moment just a moment to think about everything.

Natalia purses through and kicks me inside the tent as if she is so furious with me that she has nothing more to say. The kick hurt quite a bit and left me with a bruise.

F and K were in the other tent and were scared to come out of the tent together.   They had never experience Aspergia before and the Love mountain where the King and Queen live of Aspergia.  Not that they are really the rulers, they just are the king and queen.

Steel pops in to the tent and sees me and latin woman lying next to each other about to give each other another kiss, but Steel bangs me on the head and tells everyone that the wedding is going to start soon.

Steel: J, your brother is getting married and your parents are waiting for you to greet the guests and your brother and his soon to be wife.

me: Steel, I thought its tomorrow night.

steel: no, they want it earlier now so that you can go back on your trip.

So, in that case as F and K heard this, they began not worrying about experiencing the rest of aspergia, and turn in to dragons once again so that we can fly over and reach our goal of the party in about 10 to 20 minutes instead of much longer hiking.

On the flight, ten minutes of coasting through the air, the dragons find themselves a unicorn flying in the air. This caught them by surprise and drifted them to the ground.

As soon as they hit ground every one on the dragons fell into the water and the dragons fell on a tree breathing fire in disgust.

this is when a potion from the water splashes over and the water gets in to the dragon’s mouths.  As soon as this happens they turn back in to F and K.

F and K fall in to the water feeling pooped and drowsy and completely space out.

Apparently the water has magic powers to dragons but not  to people. Duh, because dragons breath fire and the fire was put out.

Anyway, we all climb out of the water drenched.  First, Latin woman and I walk up to the top of the small hill then Natalia and Steel. Lastly, F and K strut along.

Off we go to the party, and we see a huge tent this time in the middle of the field.

My brother, Sveny drives past me and Latin Women telling everyone to march into the tent.  As we all go into the tent we see mom and dad, Sveny’s wife who they just said their vows and were endowed by their creator who married them.

Sveny annouces to every one that I am here and that I will be dropping him and his new wife Britannica to the land of Africa for a honeymoon as I am off to visit the lands I seek to learn about.

Sveny surprised me and I whispered to him: Sveny, are you nuts?

Sveny: No, I just want to be with my wife in another land.

me: But, aspergia has been around for us aspies live in peace from everyone else and I am the only one that can visit other lands because I have a mission from class.

Sveny: what makes you so special? you will take me and Britannica.

me: alright, but I warned you.

So, the party begins at that moment.  Latin Women was suprised because there was no music because music is not played at parties only at other things.

It was speeches and readings of all sorts and famous quotes of famous aspergians.

Now here we go  again for  F and K. F fell in love with an aspergian at the party. K felt very jealous because he had no body.  And, Steel and Natalia start kissing to spite me falling in love with latin woman.

The party ended around an hour into everyone being there.  But, when it was time to leave Natalia and Steel decided to stay with the aspergians and not come along.

So, it was me, latin woman, Sveny, Britannica, F, another aspergian named Butterfly who F fell in love with, and K.

Sveny opens a door on the back of the tent and we all fall in to the land of Savannah Africa where Sveny and Britannica will stay.

We let them go and say goodbye as we head off in to the wind to the land of India.

F and K turn back in to watered down dragons trying to regain their fiery strength for a few minutes and when they do, me and Latin woman and Butterfly hop on to the dragons and the way we go.

Till next time in the land of India…

out, J

Aspergia Greets Episode 8

Welcome to the Land of LOVE…

Okay, so we have entered the land of LOVE…

Is this coincidence or what?

the dragons are flying over the land as if they are breathing fire and having excitement. do you like the song Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows? Well, its pretty good.

the song is very good and relates well to the movie Shrek 2.

Anyway, F and K are again plastered on the beach of the Land Of Love aka cupids everywhere. they are lying there like something hit them. They hit the rocks on the beach as they turned back to themselves. Oh, that had to hurt.

Doesn’t Love Hurt though sometimes?

Anyway, F, K, me, latin woman, Natalia, and the 2 maltese dogs are walking around wondering what to say and do. Then, Natalia notices bush that looks like what is that “mistletoe”. And, as Natalia looks at the bush, a cupid shoots an arrow into her body and she jumps up and faces a stanger person from the land of Love. this stranger man she begins to fall in love with and all she can think about is this stranger man from the land of love. She goes up to him and kisses him while a native land of love woman comes up and smacks her in the face because Natalia kissed her husband.

Natalia comes running back asking all of us: What was wrong with me?

all of us to Natalia: You got shot by cupid!

Natalia freaked out and wanted to leave immediately but we all wanted to stay and check it out.

the land of love native couple wanted to adopt the two dogs from malta, but they are a part of the trip that will be brought back to Aspergia. They are so cute who wouldn’t want to have these maltese dogs.

Speak of the aspies, I and Natalia get an unexpected visitor from Aspergia on the land of love, as latin woman and I stand in front of mistletoe and latin woman gives me a big wet juicy kiss.

His name is Steel and he is my best friend from Aspergia.

me: Hey Steel, what are you doing over here following me? are you doing the same thing as Natalia?

steel: No, I have to give you a message from your family in aspergia.

me: what is it?

steel: Your brother is getting married in a few days, you must come back to Aspergia before moving to the next part of the journey…

me: oh know, I am enjoying myself, steel.

steel: wait, (as he sees the sign) may be it can wait till the last minute. Can i check out this land with y’all in the meantime.

me: sure, but don’t be like Natalia.

So, we see a trail in the woods and we all step foot with Steel in the forest of love. The forest of love is nothing so far from anything I have seen before. There are unicorns and many other loving animals “with” each other. The unicorns are by themselves protecting and serving the people of this land.

The land has a beautiful landscape of waterfalls,mountain peaks, giant trees and grasses, and so far so many mistletoe shrubs.

We enter in to the castle area which has a sign in Hebrew reading, LOVE this Land of Love in the name of our people…

We enter in to the land of Love castle arena area and see signs in hebrew and people talking hebrew, this must be the language.

Latin Woman is so impressed she wants to live here with me and forget every where else, but Natalia gets even more furious.

a Unicorn carriage rides over to us carrying people inside and the carriage stops and the people depart the carriage, A King, a Queen, and the prince and princess…

King: Hello My name is the King of Love and this is my wife the Queen of Heart and here is my 2, prince and princess of Aspergian Love…

Wait a minute, Aspergian Love prince and princess?

me: Actually King, are we in Aspergian Royalty land a part of Aspergia.

King: Why Yes You are!

me: This is amazing, no wonder why my friend steel is here. I am back in Aspergia.

King: Well, do you want to show your friends from the other lands around here.

me: Yes, but first I must get to my brother’s wedding nearly 500 miles away.

King: sure, come back any time…

So, it off the way they go inside the land of Aspergia. me, Steel, latin woman, Natalia, F, and K begin trekking the 500 mile walk/hike to the my home where a wedding awaits.

till then, see y’all…

out, J

Aspergia Greets Episode 7

The dragons are flying away in the wind with me, latin woman, Natalia, and the two dogs of malta lying side by side on a single dragon.  One of the dragons, grabs fish from the ocean floor and dives down getting me and latin woman wet.  Then the dragon and flys up in to the sky with the other dragon.  A sudden storm in the sky brings the two dragons south close by to the land of latin to a nearby island.

The island is very similiar to the land of latin only almost every thing on the island looks like baseball fields.

We have landed on Dominican Baseball as the sign reads which is a section of the land of latin.

F and K appear back to normal on the beach but seem completely wiped out.   They can’t even stand up for seconds then regain consciousness.

The dogs start wandering around Dominican Baseball land, but Natalia and Latin Woman are keeping a close eye on their recently acquired adoptions.

Anyway, Here we go again, The first person from Dominican Baseball.

A quaint man comes up to us asking about the dogs: Are those your beautiful dogs?

Natalia and latin woman answer together: yes, and you can’t have them.

the man:  I know, I just have been on trips before and say (pointing at me) are you the guy from Aspergia visiting the other lands? I thought you had seen me before, I visited Aspergia two years ago, remember me…

Me: I don’t think so, but let me process my memory for a minute… Oh yeah, you were the baseball guy that was giving us entertainment in the park. do you remember Natalia too?

the man: No, just you.  Anyway, would you like to come to a dominican party?

me: me, sure but can the rest of my people come with you.

the man: sure, bring them, especially the the woman who is eyeing you now (pointing at latin woman). We’ll show you a new kind of party.

F and K together: Wait, J, you don’t really want to go there. we better visit another land.

me: why?

F and K: you’ll see if you go. Alright, let’s just go.

So, we’re all off about to visit the party that this man was about to bring all of us too.

The music is pumping like no other music before.   It starts to get loud at approximately 5 miles away. Oh my, the music is like joyful only even sounding more joyful than usual.

the beat of the music, the pumping the music, the oh my, people dancing a bit differently than the land of latin which was salsa.

The man: This is what we call a reggaeton party. Join the fun.

The people start to shout: Here comes our leader in spanish.

Latin woman drags me on the dance floor pushing me to dance like the dancers on the floor only I feel very awkward.

latin woman: move your body, get down and shake it, shake that butt.

Natalia at this point is furious and runs away till the man from dominican runs over to her and walks her up the the dance floor.  Natalia begins her awkward way of reggaeton dancing.

F and K walk around talking to a few different people in spanish about what kinds of foods and where they all can sleep for the night before we head of to another land.

6 hours later after much dancing and the party ended, me and latin woman are passed out on the floor from dehydration because we had nothing to eat and drink.  Natalia comes over and kicks me and says : I am mad at you J. never talk to me again.  I am going on my own trip by myself.

And so Natalia leaves us for this episode.

Latin Woman kisses me and says to take her to the beach where we can go off to another land.

Not quite yet because the man gives us much food for thought of the trip.  F and K begin turn in to dragons once more and start complaining that once they do they breathe fire like crazy.  Gee whiz, how could this be?

And so we are off to the another land as we see the baseball game that the man and his team play on the field and he scored from 1st to home plate after getting a single and stealing bases.

Gee whiz, ironic because latin woman kisses me once again.

Till the next episode of Aspergia Greets… I rest assure that the there will no more pit stops as the land of Science paves the way for our next episode.

hope you enjoyed this episode all the fictional episodes of Aspergia Greets…

out, J