Being Autistic and finding love can be tricky

Disclaimer: A post for Adults about love among Adults:

It’s good to fall in love with someone you want to be with even though I am still searching. Although it is also good to take it slow with baby steps as to not play it too hard. Love is in the air all the time, but we need to understand what love is. Most of us do understand what love is, but a lot of us do not. It’s a complicated process.

Being in love for an Autistic person means many questions being drawn to us. A lot of times we act, think, and do things quicker when we find love. Autistic people need love too, but we need to slow that thinking down in order to enjoy it. It’s a challenge for us. That’s why falling in love is so difficult. Either being with another Autistic or a Neurotypical person, it probably would be easier for a lot of people on the Autistic spectrum to be involved with another Autistic person. Why? Because Neurotypical people tend to not understand what it’s like to be Autistic and winds up being a bigger challenge for us. Either fall in love or live in solitude, that’s the choice we all need to make.

It’s hard for a lot of Autistic people to be open minded about love when comes to our special interests or religion. Though we are less judgmental! I feel though we fall in love very easily because we are open minded about being with just about anyone that we feel we can relate to. We are very open minded in that sense, but when it comes down to thinking about our special interests our thinking turns black and white. We love to love just like anyone else. However we need to be conscious of our black and white thinking. Just because a person dates, does not mean the two will get married at least not right away. And what is marriage anyway? Well, it’s when 2 people fall in love, engage in each other’s intimacy, and want to spend the rest of their lives with each other. Anyone can marry anyone. There is someone for everyone. It’s just a matter of knowing who you want to marry. It’s a process of love, finding it, embracing it, spreading it, and spending time with the love of who you want to be with. 2 people should not be expelled from society because they want to marry. That would be ridiculous if society expelled anyone for falling in love and wanting to marry!

Love can be very tricky for an Autistic person at large. Though it’s important to keep an open mind about meeting anyone because you never know who you can fall in love with as a single person. Religion is man-made interpretations of what spirituality really is. Being in the universe, we need to feel the love around us because we need to eventually know that we contributed positively to the universe as a whole to build our own heaven. If we don’t, we go down the black hole in to nothingness where we engage in negative feelings.

So when do we find love? We will find love only when we engage with someone who we are willing to fill our hearts up without thinking about who and what the person is without thinking about why we are in love. The universe puts two people together to fall in love for a reason to show what love is. You can either take it or leave it, but never regret what the universe does. Every thing happens for a reason. Whether we fall in love or not, depends on what the universe wants from us. Not everyone is meant to fall in love supposedly, but everyone needs some kind of love to feel worthwhile and knowing that they are a part of the universe too. Otherwise the person will not feel loved and begin to hate the world. There are different ways to engage in love. Most people express it with sex while some others express love with their feelings and passions.

My advice for all those Autistic people particularly the adult population who are seeking love is to remind yourself to take 1 step at a time always slowing down the mind to not think of impulsive reactions like telling another person how much you love them. Love can trick anyone to not take it slowly. We need to let nature take it’s course to allow love between 2 people to develop the intimacy to lead up to the physical parts. Sex and sexuality are the most engaging parts of human nature. Expressing sexuality is important for anyone to not be afraid of, though sex itself is the most intimate part of what two human beings can do together. Neurotypical people tend to go straight to the sex without thinking about getting to know a person. However, sex is very powerful and the strongest intimacy two people can engage in. It can also be very painful for both people involved because either one or both of the people involved can get emotionally, physically, or spiritually hurt. What I mean by physical pain is sex can be very uncomfortable, confusing, and deeply painful touching between 2 people. Sex is not to played around with and people need to respect others first before engaging in sex. It’s so important for both parties involved in sexual activity whether a Neurotypical or Autistic person as a whole human race, to know that sex is only fun when you know who you want to love, if you choose it. Though it’s not for everyone which is why there is Asexuality.

Hope you have a great weekend!!


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One thought on “Being Autistic and finding love can be tricky

  1. somebody

    I was on a business trip to another country a few weeks ago. When we were out eating, I saw this girl and I fell for here right away. Somehow I managed to establish some very fraglie but ongoing email contact between us. One of the first things she told me is that she is autistic. She always disconnects from people. And she moves a lot. So her relationships get cut off. She says she needs this freedom.

    The problem is, I am really heavily in love with her. I don’t know what hit me. I saw her and I knew that she’s the one I could dedicate my life to. I was stupid enough to tell her that. Because I have quite a few issues interacting with people, too. So this whole thing is really, really difficult. Well… she said we can be friends, but that she’s not for anybody to love. She describes herself as a grumpy girl who doesn’t care about anybody. And says everything I seem to like about her is more or less just a “role” that she plays.

    Well, I don’t know. All the talk of the autism and about how she handles relationship just won’t scare me away. With every bit I learn about her it just pulls me in closer. She is so special and wonderful to me. I will not drop her just because she has some special needs. I want to learn how I need to behave so she feels comfortable around me. Of course I cannot force it. But the way I fell about this girl – I really cannot just kick her out of my head because she is not the same as all the other ones. Don’t want to suffocate her either. I know that if I get to close, she can feel very uncomfortable. It’s a very painful experience trying to handle all this.

    So bottom line, I am really serious about my feelings for her. And I want her to feel good around me. Do you have any advise for me?