“Today I am caught in the rain. My mind wanders thinking of what should be said and done from the past few hours at home. We have arguments and chase around others because of the living situations which have been tough. I sit, I stand, I fall, but don’t know what I will do next. Something occurred to me, can we stand tall and free? Can we really have free will? Is free will giving us too much of what we can do for ourselves? I feel, I sense, and I urge myself to create a life of satisfaction. My oh my oh my, I sense who I was, and what I want to be. Can people find themselves? Can people really urge themselves to speak up, know when to be a person talking or when to know who we ought to be. I feel kinda down sometimes, but after the past few hours I feel even worse. I am nothing, I am a no body, I need to find something… My name is Dawn and I can’t believe what just happened. I hurt my one and only loving family. I am stuck on the Earth rushing, running, and deserting who I am. So why did I do that? Will I ever be forgiven…”
Later that day…
A man came up to me who had a white, rosy beard and he said to me, “Why are you so sad?”
Dawn said “I feel awful, stop it, get away?”
Old Man “My name is Fredrick and I am here I am not away!!”
Dawn: “Get a LIFE, Fredrick!!”
Fredrick gets so angry that he miscues what was said and blasts Dawn with curse words making her cry.
Dawn lifts up her face and says “Dang, you’re so awfully cruel!” and then tearfully saying “I guess I deserved that after what happened earlier at home.”
Fredrick asks “What happened?”
Dawn replies “I had a big fight with someone I love and can’t remember what was said, but I think killed the person.”
and then says “I don’t mean to be a total jerk, but I need to repeat it in my head so that I can be someday forgiven.”
“Well, why were thinking you’d be forgiven?” asks Fredrick
“Well I felt so bad.” said Dawn
Fredrick says “I don’t think you felt bad at the time or you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”
“I had angry feelings and wanted to stop myself, but my control was bad.” says Dawn
“Well, Dawn, I feel I can help you then because you can be forgiven only when you can control your fears of what you can’t do.” says Fredrick
Dawn stares in to the Old Man’s face now. Dawn replies “What?”
Fredrick says “I feel my instincts convince me we should go to a far off place in the distance to talk.”
Fredrick leads Dawn in to the forest nearby. A light disappears and everything becomes pitch black and silent. Eventually Dawn doesn’t realize who is there if Fredrick is even still there. She realizes after seeing a light at the end of the forest that she is dead.
Dawn never survived the fight and was killed while walking out of the apartment that night by a homicidal maniac robbing her next door neighbor. The Light becomes even brighter as she enters closer to the door. The closer she gets the more she sees a movie of what seemed to happen that night. Her father started yelling at her, she said a few words and walked out the door when a man with a knife stabbed her multiple times to her death. She fell silent and died.
She is somewhere where she can’t define where she is. It is white and she sees so many bright colors…
Dawn finally sees Fredrick again.
Fredrick says “Welcome Dawn! You are here to be happy and loving and have no more fears. Just be happy Dawn!”
Dawn says “I want to go back because my life was nothing and I wanted to make something of it. I don’t want to be remembered as a horrible person who did nothing.”
So, Fredrick pushes her and she falls back on to a table in a hospital where doctors and nurses are surrounding her. They are marveled to saving her life, but really Fredrick gave her one more chance.
She now is back in a regular hospital room lying on a bed. Dawn sees visions of Fredrick talking to her to help her make herself a somebody. She envisions herself helping people and sees things happening in the future. She had what many people would call a near death experience.
Nearly 4 weeks after the hospital, Dawn can project herself into seeing Fredrick and the Light. Her father is feeling awkward by asking her “How she is?”, but she always wears a smile on her face now. Her feeling is she is speaking up for herself and creating artwork that is remarkable. Someone even came up to her in the 5 months after the “Error Correction” to see if she was selling her artwork. She replied “I am doing this for fun as a hobby and to be happy.”
The person gave he his address and $50 to buy the artwork. Dawn could not believe that she already made $50 for her artwork.
Before Dawn’s accident she was working in a local Starbucks coffee house and she didn’t realize her potentials in life always feeling sad. The murderer who nearly killed her and robbed her father’s next door neighbor is still out and about doing bad things, but Dawn is working herself to be a somebody. She decided to go back to school to become a doctor and she is also teaching people many talents she has.
Life can, Life will, Life actually loves actually… Rivers of thought actually, living actually well can be the art of human nature. What comes, what goes, what experiences delivers us can be loving, beautiful, and caring. What more can you do? What more can you want?
Dawn says now “I am me, I am happy, I am being myself, I am me!”
Sources of Soul, Sources of fate, Sources of control, Sources of fear, Sources of anger destroys us… Sources of heavenly spirits helps us.
(just the beginning of the story, but soon the Avrila Fiction series continues also)