I went to opening night at the Angelika film center in New York City for the movie “Adam” which was directed by Max Mayer. The character Adam in the picture was played by the actor Hugh Dancy. As I watched the movie there were parts that brought me to tears and other times made me laugh. The tears I shed were scenes in the movie that were painful reminders of the everyday problems I face in my life. The laughter came from the times I knew the behaviors, Adam, was displacing were similar to my own. It made me realize how very inappropriate I must look to other people. Yet, the laughter made me cry. It made me become aware of my odd behaviors I have because of my having Asperger Syndrome. The movie showed Adam experiencing his life a different way from the typical.
When Adam meets his first love Beth (Rose Byrne), his sensory issues and lack of romantic skills showed instantly with his Asperger Syndrome. Throughout the movie, Adam learned step by step how to be with a woman, handle his sensory issues, and improve his communication. Adam also learned a lot from his father’s friend Harlan (Frankie Faison) who gave Adam a realistic sense of every day life skills.
Asperger Syndrome is a hard thing for any body to have and the movie “Adam” showed this very well. It also made me realize about relationships especially on the romantic level. Some people with Asperger Syndrome are very bad at romantic relationships. Adam was very bad with romance and communication and needed to learn about all types of relationships. The character’s interest with space consumed him with every conversation he had in the movie. The impression I got was the special interest should not constitute the whole conversation. The movie also stressed how Neurotypicals and Aspie/Auties can learn from each other. It should make every one aware about the interactions they have with people and the impressions they make on any body they meet.
I was always told first impressions count and to maintain a good impression. Adam impressed his first love and as time passed, Adam had a hard time maintaining the impression he first gave. It gave me the impression we must realize the subtle things required in a romantic relationship and especially in maintaining a general friendship. Adam found himself by seeking happiness at the end of the movie even after a lot of devastation in his life. His previous learning experiences during the movie proved himself to move forward with his new knowledge. Aspies/Auties learn at slower paces, but eventually succeed. The touching lesson is when it is time to move on, we have to just live our life to the fullest.
The film shows none of the special effects most of the other films do. Instead it relied on the actors performing at their very best. It also had great cinematography presenting each scene with emotion. The music for the film was very moving and served to help tell the story very well. It gave a good feeling about how far a film can reach without special effects and teaches every one about life. This is the way a film used to be.
At the end of the movie, Max Mayer and Hugh Dancy were there to answer any questions. The movie brings great power storytelling by Max Mayer and I really admire his creative techniques. The cast especially Hugh Dancy really impressed me with their classic movie. If any body knows some one with Asperger Syndrome/Autism you should see this movie to learn more about how to teach us and learn from us as well. I hope many people go and see this film because it deserves all the rewards it can get.
(By the way, my own fantasy fiction character I am writing about on this website called Light Year Man will be in action once again. I am writing about it still. It is Science Fiction. One phrase; Move forward)
Posting again soon enough the bits of the story I am writing about and many more.
OUT, J
I just saw the movie for the first time a few weeks ago and fell in love with it. I was wrestling with the ending too. However, I don’t necessarily think that they didn’t get together but I do wish the ending had been much more clear. I would love to talk with the writers and ask them why they ended it with such a non-ending.
I was disapointed that the ending did not bring the couple back together when i saw him read the book i really wanted him to jump on a plane and go back to his love she obviously still loved him. The movie opened my eyes to Asperger’s Syndrome something I had only heard of in passing but i felt that it will show that people with it are just as capable of having a loving relationship as others but that it just needs a little patience and understanding all in all a good movie but needed a better ending where the boy got the girl back
Becca, I see your point that perhaps Beth misunderstood Adam’s speech at the closing of their relationship. And I do agree that the overall message the movie seems to portray is not as positive as I would have hoped. Did you watch the alternate ending? Maybe a bit degrading (as she compares him to a raccoon shedding his fur), but shows that Beth came to see Adam as a man and not as a child or as just a person with Asperger’s.
I honestly wasn’t too angry that Adam and Beth didn’t end up together in the end because it didn’t seem that they were compatibile– not because Adam had Asperger’s, but because it never seemed to “click” for them. Not once in the movie did it seem really natural for them to be together. And maybe you’re right that she needed to do more work to really understand him. However, maybe they were just wrong for each other. It would have been more optimistic and hopeful, however, if the movie had ended with Adam at least meeting someone new, if not successfully dating her (kind of like the ending of 500 Days of Summer, except more realistic and believable).
Although I’m a sucker for a happy ending, JLO, I concur that this movie seems to be about the journey of learning about one another, not about the destination of finding true love. And both of them learned plenty through this experience. Adam learned what it was to love someone else romantically, and Beth learned that people with Asperger’s are not just people with Asperger’s, but *people*. She learned that he was a man (as emphasized in the alternate ending). I wouldn’t give this movie 5 stars, or even 4 (there was a little too much awkwardness and discomfort and not enough good stuff to balance it out), but it was interesting to watch.
She could not love him because he did not love her the same way. She wanted to love him, be with him but Adam told her that he only wanted her to come with him so he wouldn’t be alone at his new job. She demonstrated a lot of love and patience with him since their first meeting. They truly learned a great deal from each other and endured the best and worst of each other. A movie should not be expected to have a happy ending. Adam ended with the optimism that he has moved forward,with the help of meeting his first love, he has demonstrated the potential that one day he may find that one person who will go the distance with him. I believe that they both grew on each other but they were growing as individuals and only did what was best for themselves. She was inspired by him and he got his dream job. We don’t know what happened after that.
I just recently wrote what I thought about the movie. Although it did touch me as I cried and laughed how it related to my son and husband with Asperger’s and me, I was a little offended how it ended. Yes, it showed the main actor happy and more adjusted in the end, but why didn’t they let him have the girl? It made me angry to think this movie might lead others to think Aspie’s are not worth marrying and not able to have a genuine relationship, which is not true because I love my dear husband with Asperger’s. I read more into what the character said to the girl in the end. Most audiences will probably think, gee he really doesn’t love her but just wants her to be his mom, when I know my husband has said things similar, but it has more meaning, he just doesn’t get the right words out sometimes. So in the end yes I’m glad he went on to have a happy independent life, but it made me mad at the stupid girl who couldn’t understand enough to have a relationship with him. My Aspie husband left very upset with the ending, but I told him the girl was dumb and I love him and obviously wasn’t like her being that we are married and have come to understand each other. I hope this movie doesn’t allow others to think Aspies can’t be loved or can’t get married. I don’t want parents to leave this move thinking they should never let their daughters marry my son. It was a good movie if you understand Asperger’s. I suppose it is a good movie for those to learn about Asperger’s, but I feel it portrayed certain things a little too negatively leading an NT to think that an Aspie really has too many issues to make it in the world.
Great review.. sounds like the characters are somewhat accurate, if you were moved by it,thanks