Living with the people who we think we love because they are family, But How do we do it?

I wonder how most people live with certain people in their lives even with all their antics and shtick.  It is interesting to know before the 1960’s, it was rarity people all over the world couples would get a divorce.  Most people just dealt with whoever they were living with and tried to make the most out of it.  I find whoever dealt with the people they were living with who seemed negative and miserable or who were very anxious people, are those people who were the strongest individuals the world has probably ever seen.

Nowadays when a couple gets married most of the time they do not stay married for much longer.  Most of the time it is because one of the spouses can’t take anymore of the other spouses antics or shtick.  It is really sad to see how these spouses do not have the same strength as the other spouses who dealt with the same stuff or worse before 1960.  I hear about how my Grandpa who dealt with my living Grandma , and I hear about how my Grandma dealt with my living Grandpa.

I wonder how we all deal with these people who we say we want to marry and marry them for the rest of our lives.  I am not married yet, but I don’t want to ever get married because there are too many stresses going on during the time frame in which people have to spend the rest of their lives with the person they choose.  By choosing to end the marriage early and getting a divorce, you show the whole world how weak you are because I see how strong all these other spouses were when they were married before 1960.  It amazes me to see a couple who has been married for over 60 years because it goes to show the inner strength deep down inside of them to be able to handle all the antics and shtick.

Marriage is something that most of us take for granted these days.  I hear in the news how people get married in their 20’s and 30’s and wonder to myself about how they could do it.  The divorce rate is nearly skyrocketing these days and mostly because of the individuals getting married in their 20’s.   Inner strength is a good trait to have, if you can get married and keep the marriage going till your 61st Anniversary and many more,  you have definitely accomplished a great feat.

Sometimes I see people who are even in their 30’s who wind up getting divorced because they just can’t take it anymore and want to go and have fun finding another woman or man.  Most of these people wind up never finding anything more and regret ever getting divorced in the first place.  Though there are sometimes I find even with many friends of mine who get married, divorced, and then they do find the individual to love them for the rest of their life.  I have a special friend who has found someone she has fallen in love with and I am happy she is not one of those people still searching.

Love can be very hard.  You may find someone you love and you may feel like this is the one, but you must try very hard to work it out as much as you can with the strength inside of you.  By using the strength inside of you, it will help guide you through the marriage.

I have not found anybody I can fall in love with quite yet, and for some reason I am very close to not wanting to be married at all.  Since there are so many things involved in a marriage in which you have to deal with the inner workings of your spouse and your own self.  I give all the support to those people who had to deal with a spouse they just could not deal with at all, but lived with them till they had to die.  I also give all the support to those spouses who are living with those spouses who are tough.  These spouses living with rough marriages are trying their hardest to live with a spouse and make a marriage work.  Those people are really strong.

For those who could not handle the other spouse and had no choice, but to get a divorce, I respect and honor your decision.  It must be really hard for many people to build up the strength inside of them to handle the spouse they eventually want to divorce.  Remember it is not the fact that you could not have the strength to handle the spouse you were married to, but it is the learning experience to develop the strength inside of you to eventually handle life a lot better.  Life is a learning experience to which we must all live trying to build the strength up we need to succeed in life.

The same goes for when parents who live with their children who grow up to be adults and children growing up dealing with their parents.  We all need to build up the strength inside of us to live the rest of our lives.  We seem to live our lives trying to build up strength to handle any obstacle which passes our way.   A life is journey which travels through the fields whether it is a city street, a road on a highway, or just simple wooded trail in the forest.  We must have the confidence and strength inside to be able to walk around with this person and help the person out no matter what.

Sometimes I know there are times where we don’t even want to look at this person because the person makes us want to vomit.  We must also realize the person who we don’t want to look at may have had a rough life because they could not build up the strength inside like most other people.  It does take a lot of work for some people to have the same strength other people may have strength so easily.  We must all please be very courteous and helpful to those who are having trouble developing the same strength you may find so easily.

Marriage is a commitment which only the strongest people in the world can be able to handle.  People who are not as strong as they should be, should look at how other people who are stronger and can make a marriage last.   My parents have been happily married for a very long time already and I hope when they reach their 40th Anniversary, they look back and see how their strength developed through the years.   Every marriage does not have the strength to begin with and needs to develop the strength over time.   It is a part of the inner workings of marriage.

To answer my question about how most people can handle a difficult spouse, I say the spouse who can handle their very difficult spouse is probably one of the most strongest individuals in the world.

Dealing with a spouse, sibling, or even a friend you are trying to help can be at times the most difficult tasks for anybody handle.

An Aspie like myself can be at times very difficult to handle, but as each day passes I become a better person which to those trying to help may seem so minute at times.   Those minute moments I am becoming a better person is still an accomplishment even though it may not seem like one at the time.  By the time I reach my 40th birthday which is 11 years from now, I will be just about complete as a great person in this world.  Asperger Syndrome does not need to be cured, it just needs the support and consideration to help get where we ought to be at.  I am lucky enough to have so many people in my life including my family, my boss, coworkers, and so many other friends in my life who are in Ultrasound or just a good friend from who I met at Adaptations or even other friends to help me through the process.  I am realizing my life is what it is and I can be a better person as each day passes by.

I am someday am going to make all these people proud of me for the man I will become someday.  Even those people who were my teachers in nursery school through College Life and even other people who crossed my paths.    Whoever crosses my path in life is meant to be the person who will help me be the better man I will eventually become.

Have a good day and I will post later on.  Damn it, I have to finish the vacuuming now.

OUT, J

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