Tag Archives: self-acceptance

A Poem Called “Mourning”

(Trigger Warning: the painful moments may trigger some.)

Mourning,

by theamazinJ

Violence,
hurt,
physical pain,
emotional pain,
murderous draining of blood,
seeping from our veins abstractly,
the pain persists with everyone,
it persists in the community,
it persists in segregated settings,
it persists with disabled people,
it persists with black people,
it persists with jewish people,
it persists with muslims,
it persists with women,
it persists with differences in gender and (a)sexuality,
it persists because of eugenics,
it persists cause of American society today
especially with Donald Trump,
especially with the dark past history of America,
especially with this construction from Francis Galton,
the pain hurts even deeper and darker than that,
from the deepest roots of human history,
many people are in pain,
many people are in mourning
the lack of empathy from the current social construction
of how many individuals in mainstream society don’t understand,
of how many don’t want to understand,
and how we cannot get it right,
we cannot listen to each other,
of how no one has true understanding
unless the person has experienced
or flipped to that side of the coin,
and that only happens when we allow ourselves to experience,
when we just experience it,
and we begin to heal,
heal through humor,
heal through communicating,
heal through love,
heal through laughing amongst each other,
in the community and not in congregate settings separated from the community,
because it’s all about us,
it is all about life,
it’s not about mourning,
it’s not supposed to be a dark life,
it’s supposed to be about seeing the light,
seeing the positive sides of life,
experiencing and loving who we are
so we can experience and love everyone around us,
without causing pain to us or anyone else
regardless of how much pain we already have,
it’s about letting go and moving forward,
It’s Nothing about us, without us,
it’s just about love,
can you go back in time,
to a place in your mind,
to the one you knew you that you just couldn’t find,
when it’s said and done it’s not about losing love,
it’s not about the pain,
it’s about gaining love from everyone we meet,
taking in everything, but not taking too much pain,
the mourning of this day,
heals us when we can laugh instead of cry,
when we can let go and celebrate lives lost,
when we can let go and celebrate our own life,
and when we can just let go and move forward,
Mourning is more about how we laugh until we had to cry
and say to each other,
I love you no matter what,
I love you for who you are or who you were,
people touch, and it lives in our lives forever,
so, let’s move forward
and let’s meet halfway,
made of memories,
believing in destiny,
every moment is about getting living every moment
in the way we stick to each other in the community
regardless of impairments, regardless of what labels society gives us,
and we are stronger when we have given up,
given up on our egos,
given up on our arrogance,
and lived for the humility of humanity,
remembering and always never forgetting,
disability is a major part of human life,
so don’t neglect yourself, don’t neglect others,
and begin to accept the diversity in everything,
the diversity of life, between where we are
where we identify, claiming neurodivergent and claiming disability and even claiming neurotypicality,
finally,
it does not matter what people claim,
it just matters to be happy,
and live knowing
normality is real, but normality is accepting life the way it is,
in the living years
say it loud, say it clear,
so don’t blame the ones before, presently, or after,
just laugh with perfect humor among each other,
no matter what, no matter who,
when nothing about us, without us
really does matter.

A Poem Called “FilmDis”

FilmDis,

by theamazinJ

Critical analysis of film,
the spirit of film,
creating ideas,
suggesting ideas,
collaborating with others,
including all voices,
evening the playing field,
incorporating the film business with disabled people,
watching, viewing, and discussing film,
everyone needs this,
everyone gains from it all,
no one is left behind,
everyone’s words are valid and appreciated,
making films that count,
making films that we enjoy,
making films we despise,
raising the bar in filmmaking,
everything is illuminated with thought,
everything can be taught,
no one is left behind,
we discuss what we like,
we discuss what we don’t like,
regardless of who we are,
regardless of disability or abled-bodiness,
regardless of gender,
regardless of what we believe,
even regardless of what we say.
some, don’t like it,
some, enjoy it,
some even spread the message further,
some even consider their duty,
filmdis is important,
discussing the themes,
discussing the action,
discussing the visuals,
discussing the plot,
discussing the sound and the way we perceive light,
even discussing the perception and mentality of society.
Everyone’s included,
everyone can say how they feel,
no one can belittle anyone,
no one can talk down to others
like their activism is not enough or not good enough,
we speak for ourselves,
but we listen to everyone.
Film activism creates themes of change,
film activism debunks and de-stigmatizes
what didn’t work and what can work better,
organizations mean nothing,
it’s in the heart of what the individual citizen says,
not in what families say,
not in what organizations say,
and certainly not what legislators or a President says,
The President and legislators must listen to individual citizens
like FilmDis needs to listen to individuals in and out of the film business,
like in the way organizations or families need to listen to individuals,
regardless of what organizing people or families actually say,
because in the end,
we all may wholly agree in a discussion,
we all may wholeheartedly disagree.
The discussion becomes fulfilled when
everyone understands, everyone listens, no one feels invalidated,
and no one feels belittled or stupid,
finally giving the individual a voice,
a voice speaking for themselves,
a voice speaking for what they believe in,
a voice in discussions,
and a voice among thousands of other voices,
because no one can repute,
but everyone can just listen,
and give the most,
taking the least,
while taking in and reflecting on a moment
on the ideas an individual citizen actually has,
take a moment and reflect
remembering FilmDis,
and remembering organizing means nothing
when there is no outreach,
when there is no discussion,
and there is no inclusion,
Nothing about us, without Us!

A Poem Called “Rage, Rage, Rage”

Rage, Rage, Rage,

by theamazinJ

Violent bursts of screams,
raging through the crowd,
screaming, yelling, flapping,
bursting into the crowd of painful instinct,
sensory exhaustion to an extreme,
marginalizing one’s own dream,
ostracizing the person who lives,
oppressing,
depressing our emotions,
Raging violently with their hands,
raging violently with their movements,
raging so violently without even thinking,
trying to flight away to a far off quiet place,
destroying everything just to get there,
without caring what other pain is caused,
Rage, Rage, RAGE!
The wrath of Rage,
bursting into the seams of others clothing,
grabbing the nakedness of human nature,
the impossibility of looking directly in the eyes.
When looking directly into eyes
the pain causes rage
from the way the look grabs intently
to the point of fiery smoke,
and irrational emotional thought
seems to suck the blood out of your body,
out of your mind, and out darkening your soul
to the point of creating a clone
of the one and only who started it all.
The blood dries up,
the movements cause pain,
the gawking at the bluntness,
the need for a space for doing what is quiet,
what is intellectual,
and the space needed for creativity
to establish the need of creating a world
intersecting with time, with space, and
coordinating a world of hope,
a world of finding a way,
to a world to self-directing our own way,
a world to the incredible design created for everyone,
even when Rage outweighs it all,
rage does not fuel the joy,
Rage, Rage, RAGE,
raging into the community
where people eventually are segregated,
eventually into ghettos of despair
from the distrust that got us there,
fearing for our life,
and separating others who are citizens as well.
Loving to everyone can be difficult,
allowing the choice to persist,
separating our thoughts from our fear,
what is life?
rage, rage, raging into the sky,
opposing the current social construction,
building a universal designing of choice,
flapplauding or applauding,
ramping it up to nirvana or stairway to the upward wonderland,
acting up to the raging machine,
to the moment of existence,
without control, but with letting it all go,
letting go of what we are sad for,
letting go what makes us angry,
letting go of rage,
and finally letting go of the painful words or violence
imposed on who we are as a person,
to live a life finally nirvanically at peace.
peace with our hearts
subsiding the rage to almost nothing,
and just eternally living in the promised land
from this promised Earth.

A Poem Called “It’s My Life, It’s my Choices”

It’s My Life, It’s my Choices,

by theamazinJ

Choices matter,
choices are personal,
choices make sense,
people may be concerned,
people may not understand,
people feel obligated to personal choices,
a personal choice is a personal choice
and nothing more and nothing less.
Personal choices help growth
whether we like it or not,
personal choices are sedimental,
personal choices are not your choices,
personal choices are the choices of the individual who makes them,
personal choices help with self-care,
personal choices help with setting and maintaining boundaries,
personal choices give everyone their own dignity and pride,
deciding on things on our own and learning
is everyone’s right and everyone’s distinctions
from another individual,
because everyone matters,
because everyone chooses their destiny,
because everyone has their own way of doing things
to decide what they feel is right at the time,
everyone makes mistakes or chooses based on their own feelings.
To be an activist,
one must know what they want,
know what they don’t want,
and fight for everything they do want.
An activist is strong willed,
an activist fights for what they believe in,
an activist uses evidence to base on their beliefs,
an activist is not influenced by others,
an activist learns everyday what works and what doesn’t,
an activist grows with the people they respect
disregarding the people that hurt them,
an activist’s life can be tough
especially when people hate what we say or do,
an activist’s life can be even tougher
when what we say or do is often put down or shut down,
but an activist must stick to their mission,
must stick to their beliefs,
and continue to support evidence for their beliefs
gaining more and more support from others.
An activist makes hard choices.
Sometimes those choices can hurt others,
and sometimes those choices can eventually change the world for the better.
Martin Luther King,Jr made choices as an activist in this manner,
Rosa Parks as part of that too,
Malcolm X made choices in similar fashion,
Ed Roberts the same,
The Black Panthers even more,
Harvey Milk too,
and yes, even Susan B. Anthony and Harriet Tubman as well.
The list goes on and on all throughout history,
finally, its the choices we make that matter to what we believe,
its’ the choices we make that make us who we are,
and it’s the choices we make that allows our activism to succeed or not,
if there is no evidence and support, our activism failed,
however if we continue to push through and learn from what we know about ourselves,
We become part of the greatest activists who ever lived before.
It’s our choices to forgive ourselves and others that matter
to understand and learn from the past,
sometimes the choices we make is everything no matter what.
An activism moves forward without looking back.

A Poem Called “A Narrative of Individuals”

A Narrative of Individuals,

by theamazinJ

My gift,
My life,
My vision,
My focus,
My broad spectrum,
my ultimate beauty,
my darkened evil,
my life:
I have you,
I am you,
I am me,
I am disabled,
I am a person,
I am a citizen,
My goal,
My life,
My future,
My medicine,
my accommodation,
my accessibility,
my feelings,
my touch,
my sight,
my ideas,
my ways of who I am,
My obstacles with social construction,
My life.
I am disabled,
I am able.
I am who I am
however way you look at me,
I am you,
I am me,
I am comforting,
I am lost,
I am gained,
I am part of a tribe,
I am neurotribes,
I am neurodivergent,
I am blind,
I am moving awkwardly,
I am flexible,
I am moving furiously,
I am angry,
I am sad,
I am smiling,
I am proud of who I am,
I am conquering.
I am fighting.
I am flightful.
My thoughts are egregious.
My thoughts are among thou.
My thoughts are disabled.
My thoughts are smart and able,
my goal is fitting.
I am fit.
I am going on.
I am moving on.
I am forthcoming.
I am utterly fruitful.
My spirit is going.
I am a starry night,
I am in a darkened hole.
My life is sunny,
My life is rainy,
My life is cloudy,
My life is clear,
I can see clearly.
My life.
My classless feeling.
My feelings for others.
My anxiety soars.
I care for others,
I care less for me,
I focus on off,
focusing on.
lifting you,
lifting, pulling, pushing, pulling,
egregiously climbing,
outwardly done.
My life.
My life is paralyzed,
my life is numb,
my life is moving,
my life is simple,
my life is complicating,
my life is complex.
I am strong.
I am weak.
I am open.
I am closed.
It’s all about the future,
it’s all about me and you.
I am inspired.
I am despired.
I am inspiring.
I am deploring and despiring.
It’s good or it’s bad.
Faulty or Fally,
Fortune or forgetful,
Minding my business,
minding my own mind.
Spinning boundaries,
mental incapacities,
psychiatric dogginess,
dogs of beauty,
catastrophic cats,
cats in a rainbow,
libertarian of liberty,
spiraling out of control.
Controlling who I am,
spinning awfully well,
moving hands with flapps,
pushing myself into my blankets,
listening to my music,
painting the colors on canvass,
filming my stories,
urging goals of life.
It’s my journey,
It’s my anxiety,
It’s my conundrum,
I can be,
I cannot see,
I can see,
I can feel,
I may be real,
I am real,
I am you,
I am me,
That’s me,
That’s my life,
that’s your life,
living.