Tag Archives: respect

A Poem Called “Passing”

Passing,

by theamazinJ

It’s a struggle,
I pass or at least try to pass,
It’s a struggle,
I am from autistic culture,
my mind sees all sorts of things
in this world,
my body moves in all different ways,
my voice box is different and monolithic,
my speech is radiant and unique,
my words become silent from misunderstanding,
my life is a constant battle to pass in society.
My speech speaks with very few listeners,
my movements paint with very easy ease,
my life is a constant battle to please everyone to pass,
did Frederick Douglass want to pass for the white man?
did Rosa Parks want to pass for the white woman?
Did Mozart care about what others thought when making music?
Did Andy Warhol care about what others thought of his art?
Did Andy Kaufman care about what his critics thought of his comedy?
Does Bill Gates care about what others think of what he wants to do for the world?
Does Hillary Clinton really care what anyone thinks of her?
Autistic culture is different from non-autistic culture,
disability culture is different than living without disabilities in the able-bodied culture,
black culture is different from white culture,
jewish culture is different from christian culture,
muslim culture is different from jewish and christian culture,
witch culture and other polytheistic cultures are different than monotheism,
LGBT culture is different than heterosexual culture,
females are different than males which are both different than other genders,
the binary system is broader than one would actually think,
the binary gender, the binary able-bodied culture, the binary religion,
the monolithic sexuality, the way everyone thinks is black and white.
everyone feels, thinks, speaks, and moves differently,
we need to respect each other for who we are all born as,
and we need to respect the way we all move in the world.
Yet, black and white thinking is among us all,
it’s among everyone who feels everyone in the world needs to pass
rather than be the other, rather than be a person who is who they are,
It’s fighting for the rights of people with disabilities to live our life
the way we are and fighting for universal design for inclusion in the world,
It’s fighting for black culture, indigenous culture, other people of color, muslims, Jews, polytheistic religions, and women
to be able to live life experiencing whatever way they are and whatever way they see the world,
because universal design is not just for disability culture,
it’s for everyone to live inclusively together,
without the social construction created hundreds of years ago,
living life with a more different unique social construction embedded with individual human nature
and understanding of each other,
passing is difficult for many,
passing is difficult when we cannot be accepted and respected the way we are,
the broader human culture needs to understand each other,
the broader human culture needs to accept each other,
and the broader human culture is a part of neurodivergent culture
as well as part of the culture of the norm,
if we are truly going to live a neurodiverse culture
than we need to be accepting when someone chooses to pass for norm or chooses their neurodivergence,
choosing to be whoever and whatever their brain is like in speaking, moving, and thinking with their bodies,
we choose everything by and for ourselves, we choose what we want to accept, we choose what we even want to do everyday,
the most important thing is:
We choose how we feel about ourselves and what we think of ourselves
because in the end,
it’s our choices that create us,
it’s our choices that allow us to think binary or not,
it’s our choices to accept others or not,
it’s our choices to respect everyone or not,
it’s our choices to create a new social order or continue the binary social construction
that has been around for hundreds of years,
it’s our choices to move forward in evolution or just pass,
it’s our choice to live or to die,
and it’s our choice to be the person we are by fate or by destiny of who we individually strive for
with respecting everyone.

My “Dream that Turned Into Reality”

The History toward achieving my self-determination

(IRI) Independence Residence, Inc. (the IRI facebook page is here and twitter is here too : IRI and their youtube page is here: IRI) is a non-profit agency that works to help establish connections and better relationships for people with developmental disabilities and other disabilities to be self-actualized, committed to fulfilling independence, guiding the people they serve, and creating connections to last for a lifetime. This is what IRI does because they really care and are simply the best agency in the New York City region.

I started at IRI back in 2013 as a mentor/self-advocacy liaison as I continuously work to strive to positively impact the individuals that are served by the agency. Before I started at IRI, I always knew what I wanted to do, but was afraid to go about it. IRI gave me this opportunity as a gift that has allowed me to embark on my journey toward not only self-discovery, but a journey at helping others in the disability community find themselves and their voice.

Self-Advocacy is an important factor that helps people know who they are by identifying the way any one feels comfortable, learning to speak up, knowing their civil rights, learning what taking responsibilities means in their daily lives, helping our friends speak up when they are worn out or overloaded, and incorporating every aspect of their life by giving to the world the gift of self-actualization.

My work at IRI started out in this way especially when I started working with about 6 to 7 of their self-advocacy groups late in 2013 to teach self-advocacy, self-determination, and living an independent life. I have done so much for them so far including creating presentations, creating my self-advocacy board game, using my muppet “Max” (non-binary gender, multi-sensory, Autistic, 85 years old, Max is non-binary gender in appreciation of those friends who really are non-binary gender) from December 2010 when I bought them at Columbus Circle. I continuously build connections with not only all the individuals who are my peers, but with the staff who I can say are my peers too in the broader community.

I have earned their respect. I have helped in so many ways including the way they thought about re-writing a vision, mission, and values statements for their organization. I brought them to the next level of being able to guide the individuals they serve toward the person’s with disabilities self-determination.

Now I have self-direction services in which they were part of the help toward me achieving this for myself as I help their individuals. Although, my self-direction services is through Westchester Institute of Human Development, ARC of Rockland, and my 13 people and growing of my circle of support I create for myself.

What is self-determination?

Well, self-determination means something different for everyone. That’s the beauty of self-determination is that it is a definition that changes for each person’s own individuality. Some people need a balance of the medical model and social model while others need solely the social model of disability. Social model of disability is obviously the not so stigmatizing model. The social model is good for everyone to understand that they have a choice of whatever is good for them. This is what is called ‘person centered’ approach.

Social Model vs. Medical model

The medical model is not and never is ‘person centered’ because it states that the person is the problem and needs to be fixed or eradicated from society. It also is stigmatizing in many other ways by saying that the person is not human and a burden unless they conform or fix their ways to be like the mainstream ‘status quo’ of the society the individual belongs to.

Conforming can be in the way people move, make eye contact, quiet hands, or even speak with the same language as the masses do. The ‘status quo’ is not necessarily bad, it just means that everyone is standardizing the approach to communication, language, movement, hearing, sight, touch, and expressing oneself in the world. This is why the social model of disability is better!

Is this right or wrong? Well, it depends on what an individual wants from their life. Some people are fascinated with the status quo. But, what does the status quo even mean? What does it mean to be mainstream?

Communication is Key!

Some people or most people in society, expect immediate responses to their communication in an impromptu response through speaking through the mouth. However, any one who speaks too deviant from however the status quo mainstream people speak, is often shunned, ostracized, silenced, placed in institutions, and/or written off as not even human due to being seen as bad people by much of society. This is the reason why mainstream society and the majority individual non-disabled citizens of the world strive for perfection with their black and white thinking of what they deem the ‘perfect’ human being. This is not right, not fair, and does not allow diversity to thrive in the world.

Everyone is different and societies in this world need to remember diversity matters rather than pretending it does. Differences is what makes us human no matter who we are and what we do to achieve our successes in the world. If you meet one human being, you’ve only met one human being.

Appreciating and grateful for my connections I make and my family

IRI, CUNY SPS, JCC in Manhattan, ASAN, my connections I made from CAFETY, SANYS, the many peers I have met through the years especially since 2013, and of course my wonderful loving family have all helped and continuously help me in so many ways.

I have created an amazing network of people I can say I know and cherish every moment of my life as an amazing creative story that I make for myself. If it wasn’t for these people I have in my life, I would not been given a chance to embark on my own self-determination. Not only that I am now able to build my goal of finally becoming the person I always wanted to be. Ultimately, finding my voice and self even though it’s hard when being influenced by so many people I talk with in my interactions in the community. And, these people help find and give me my voice!

Detaching from other people’s conclusions to finding my Authentic Self

It’s difficult to detach from other people’s conclusions when I have thousands of people’s conclusions in my mind that confuses me. I am learning to detach each and every conclusion to formulate my own personal conclusions without forgetting any of these people either (meditation is the perfect grounding point for me). Everyone’s story and conclusions is important and unique to them. Though, my voice and authentic self is what counts to what I want for myself and what is good for me, nothing more. That is my self-determination!


“Turning Dreams Into Reality”

Happy Autism Acceptance Month that begins in 24 hours as April begins. Thank you for everything from everyone who helps me especially my family! It is my life now and what I want to do finally and guess what, I have not only my family supporting me, but so many others as well.

Emotions roll over us all the time, but it’s just a matter of staying a positive force in the world to become the wonderful person that we are with the spirit that lies within us…

Love is wonderful thing!

Now, listen to this song: (Almost Paradise by Mike Reno)

OUT, J

Back to the Adult life…

Now we are back in the Adult life again wondering what those last two posts were about.  Think of all the things which lead us in to a life of misery and also those things which lead us in to a life of happiness.  A happy story can begin and end happy.  It all depends on you.  When we are born, we are born happy because our mother brought us in to this world.  When we die, we either keep the happiness or die in misery.

Misery loves company, happiness seems to not love company so much.  How come?  For whatever reason, there seems to be a constant attention for negative misery than positive happiness.  I will get this whole world to change their perceptions on the world.

Many people who believe in a cure for Autism or believe vaccines cause Autism or are searching for something to end Autism Spectrum Disorders is only thinking of the negative life has to offer.  You must think of the positive Joy in life.  Joy to the World the people have come!

The people are coming and the people are enjoying their lives, please let them do so.

I know the song, the Circle game which goes like this sung by Joni Mitchell:

“Yesterday a child came out to wonder
Caught a dragonfly inside a jar
Fearful when the sky was full of thunder
And tearful at the falling of a star
Then the child moved ten times round the seasons
Skated over ten clear frozen streams
Words like, when youre older, must appease him
And promises of someday make his dreams
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

Sixteen springs and sixteen summers gone now
Cartwheels turn to car wheels thru the town
And they tell him,
Take your time, it wont be long now
Till you drag your feet to slow the circles down
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game

So the years spin by and now the boy is twenty
Though his dreams have lost some grandeur coming true
Therell be new dreams, maybe better dreams and plenty
Before the last revolving year is through
And the seasons they go round and round
And the painted ponies go up and down
Were captive on the carousel of time
We cant return, we can only look behind
From where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game”

These lyrics Joni Mitchell sings is the purpose of our lives.  We are built on a cycle. If we build negative energy in to the cylce, everybody becomes negative.

Think of this realistically and change your mindset. Never say anything like : I wish, I can’t, I hope, I pray, …

These are examples of just a few negative phrases to say.  A prayer is something which is not just something said in your religion, a prayer could be as simple as saying ‘Hello’ or ‘Goodbye’ or even ‘Goodnight/Good Morning’.  You don’t need to go to Temple, Church, or any place you worship to say a prayer.

Prayers are very strong and everybody makes a new prayer a day. If it is negative, negative happens, if it is positive, positive happens.

Take your life and take with stride.  I am trying my hardest to this everyday now never to say any one single word which can hurt me in the end.

Life is a journey of millions or billions of words.  This is a world with many different types of people who say many different types of words.  Each word is a powerful saying which can lead you in either direction.

OUT, J

Triumphant Victory to come soon

Soon to be a Triumphant Victory when I take control of my life and finally get what I deserve in respects to a great career.  Hopefully it happens soon.  I would like it to happen immediately since things are very rough, but they say all things happen to those who wait.  Yet, I have been waiting for 2 years already. How much longer can I wait?

Living a dream is half way for me now, but when it gets to be my whole dream of what I want, I am going to be so excited and happy that I will be listening to Lionel Richie’s “Dancing on the Ceiling” because I will be literally dancing on the ceiling in utter excitement because my waiting period is almost over and I want it so much that I can feel it in my bones.

Triumphant Victory coming soon to a victory near me for all to watch me be the victorious one.

Anyway, I have to just think positively and show my optimism.

out, J