Tag Archives: love

A Poem Called “Disease”

Disease,

by theamazinJ

Pushing,
pulling,
feuding,
crying for help,
hurting from the pain
from everyone around
who don’t appreciate,
from everyone who
don’t understand life.
Arguing with each other,
swinging the bodies in disgust,
feeling out of control,
the starchness of who we are,
as disabled people,
as we are neurodivergent,
as we are told to pass,
as we can’t be who we are,
as everyone becomes robots,
as everyone’s movements become fixed,
and the way we communicate become stuck,
without flapping,
without spinning,
without moving in the way that we are free,
without speaking with our true voice,
and speaking, moving, and guarding ourselves
in a way society wants.
It saddens me society doesn’t understand,
it hurts me society won’t give respect
unless these things are done,
and everyone does what is necessary
to be considered intelligent,
unless everyone speaks, moves, and intellectualizes in a way
society wants it
to gain the respect we should have had all along.
Society can be funny.
the physiology can be different than the way society actually is,
the way our brains work,
the way our bodies move,
and the way our spirit is to make a difference,
everyone is here for a purpose,
everyone intellectualizes differently,
everyone has different thoughts,
everyone is here to get their voices out there,
to debate, to argue their points, and to listen
however we all listen,
we are not here to be robots,
we are not here to be clones,
and certainly we are not here to be different than who we are.
Everywhere we go, everywhere we burst into a room,
every time we open a door,
we open the door to another opening
to another meeting,
to meeting more people,
to seeing what we can see,
to hearing new things
and to meet with new partners,
eventually committing to a partner if we choose.
Sometimes we have positive thoughts,
sometimes we have negative thoughts,
and many times the positive and the negative fight together in our heads,
creating anxiety and not knowing what to do.
The power of thought helps us know
what we want to think,
whether it is positive or negative,
or just a debate in our head,
or just a voice we are struggling to hear from another person.
Sometimes we would do anything for love,
even run from hell and back,
and sometimes we actually meet people for a reason to help us at the time
who only help us grow to meet the people who stick with us for life,
while meeting people every day of our life,
speaking the moment of truth,
finding the love we need to live,
while engaging with violent outbursts in our heads
between negative and positive thoughts,
and the powerful outbursts sometimes show in the real world
while most times it just lies inside our heads,
fighting our emotions, fighting our feelings, and fighting what we want to think,
a positive thought can be overthrown easily by a negative thought
if we don’t build a wall in our mind to overthrow the negatives in our mind
because we have to remember thoughts are things
and thoughts create our reality
while thoughts fighting in our minds
become inner battles for what we want in our life,
everyone gives, everyone takes, and everyone battles,
about or but what is.
the door is always open, we just have to open every door,
we just have to be who we are,
with our neurodivergent brains,
with our disabled bodies or not disabled at the time,
and whether we choose to pass for neurotypicality
and how much we choose to be neurotypicality,
finally, it is our choice,
and from that choice,
we choose to make love or to take love,
even when its a rainy night or just clear skies,
all we have to do is make that decision and live with what we choose,
deciding the magic we want to deliver to the world,
with the love we have to give and share,
and see with our eyes the beauty we made
for the world to see and share everywhere.
All we want to do is make the love,
and open the doors wherever we see them.
What about love? What’s missing?
Open the doors!

A poem about “Love”

Love,

by theamazinJ

Love is
Family
Friends
being with everyone who cares
being with everyone who loves me back
sharing and spending time with everyone
without discouraging anyone
with lifting everyone up
and lifting family up too.
Relationships are a two way street
we share, we care, and we embrace
Love is
incredible
insurmountable
boundless
Love has no boundaries
when we want a hug or give a hug
when we want a kiss or give a kiss
when we want support or give support
when we find ourselves or embrace other’s identities
whatever we choose to be and who we are,
Love is
pure
Love is
simple
Love is incredibly connecting
Love is always there
as long as we don’t forget about it.
Love makes us argue
Love makes us fight
Love makes us find peace
Love makes us build our relationships
most importantly love is positive.
I love family
I love everyone who cares about me
I love feeling connected
Sometimes feeling connected
can drive me crazy.
I can feel too much emotions
I can feel
like I need love all the time
I can feel overwhelmed by love
and not sure how to handle the emotions,
and finally,
Love can make me feel:
startled,
joyful,
sad with tears,
angry,
emotionless,
not sure how to respond,
all at once.
If I love,
I will love.
I love, I really do love.
I just need to take my time,
and once I do,
I will feel it well.
Love makes us patriotic
Love makes us want to fight
for civil rights for all.
Love is gracious,
while it is also
very very accepting
and very very very
humbling with a grateful heart,
Thank you all.

A Poem called “It’s OK to be Disabled, It’s OK to be Different”

It’s Ok to be Disabled, It’s OK to be Different

by theamazinJ

It’s Ok,
I am disabled,
I am different,
I am vulnerable,
I don’t test well on IQ,
It’s Ok to get it wrong,
and it’s OK because I am Human,
it’s OK to make mistakes,
and It’s Ok to be open to everyone.
I am very stupid sometimes,
I am very intelligent,
I am influenced at times,
I act like a jerk sometimes too,
and it’s OK because I am Human.
I am anxious all to often,
I am angry at times,
I get stuck on my anger too much,
and it’s OK because I am Human.
I can be mean,
I can be nice,
I am different,
and it’s OK because I am Human.
I am impulsive,
I am impatient,
I am patient at times too,
and it’s OK because I am Human.
I am stubborn,
I can be closed minded,
I am open minded,
and it’s OK because I am Human.
I’ve been silent for a bit,
I’ve not been speaking as much,
it’s OK because I am Human
and need my space sometimes
to not respond feverishly
and without thinking things through
because when I am silent,
it does not mean I have nothing to say,
it just means I am Human and need my space too.
I am Human because I am imperfect,
and it’s OK not to be perfect
since I am Human.
It’s OK not to like everyone,
It’s OK to love everyone
because I am Human
and don’t intend to
hate anyone.
It’s Ok to be different,
It’s Ok to be disabled,
It’s OK to take my time,
It’s Ok to read slowly,
It’s Ok to use alternative textbook reading
to read quicker,
It’s Ok to write fast,
It’s Ok to write how I feel,
It’s Ok to think quickly,
It’s Ok to react and respond,
It’s Ok to be who you are,
It’s Ok for myself to
think through about what I need for support,
It’s Ok to self-direct my own life,
It’s Ok that everyone may not agree with me,
It’s OK if I disagree,
It’s Ok to argue my point of view,
It’s Ok to retreat to my shell,
It’s Ok to be lively and out,
It’s Ok to speak out as much as I want,
It’s OK to say NO when I feel I disagree,
It’s OK to be open,
It’s OK to come out of my hiding spot,
and It’s OK for others to be angry
when I disagree with them,
It’s OK to move differently,
It’s Ok to have different language,
because we are Human,
because we are all different,
because we all have our own ideas,
because we all have our own opinions,
because we all have what it takes to succeed,
because we all succeed in different ways,
because we are all Human
and don’t have to do things exactly in the same way,
because we all are crooked and learn to be straighter
learning to do things the right way
even when we can make horrible mistakes
that we learn from,
because we are all born differently
with every part of the way we learn and
how to live positively and to the fullest,
because we are all not even and the oddballs that we are,
because we are all weird and freaks and r*t*r*d*d in our own way
and that is Ok.
It is OK because we are Human.

Every Day We Need to give Thanks and Give Back

I have been through the worst, I’ve been through the pains, I’ve even been through many heart aches in my life with people in general. People have failed me, people have been disappointing me, but most importantly I need to remember what I do in my life and what I have in my life of the people who support me. Sometimes I feel my voice, my intelligence, and my way of being are not acknowledged and listened to. Or, is that what it may seem like to me sometimes? I know there are many people who support me in my network including my family.

Thanksgiving is a day that was started that turned around over many years. It first started as a racist holiday against indigenous people. I suppose now people are trying to save Thanksgiving because they are turning it into a day to be grateful for everything we have and will have or had already. However, Thanksgiving should not be a day just to be grateful because we should always be grateful. Thanksgiving instead should be a day for everyone as a community in the world to come together to rejoice, rejuvenate, laugh, smile, and cry together. Sometimes it can be hard to, but we need to try to be around people to show who we are.

It’s a day that the whole community enjoys each other’s company and becomes fulfilled with life. It’s a day we should cherish regardless of it’s racist roots in history because we need to imagine ourselves always being the loving person most of our families tried to push us to become including mine. Love is something we all need. We all love, we all may need kisses, we all may need hugs, and we all need someone to connect to, to be a human being striving for our success.

Traditionally on Thanksgiving, people make huge feasts of food which includes grilling, baking, or frying turkeys. For every food we have, for every drink we drink, for every food and drink leftover, let’s think about the people who don’t have food during this holiday season. What happened to these people? Are they forgotten? Are they lost? Are they gone? The people I am talking about are still human who are not forgotten, not lost, and not gone, they are just here because for whatever reason no one understood them.

Love your family no matter what. Love the incredible things you get from the people around you. Yes, sometimes people in your family may disagree with us even when both sides of the argument think they are right. No matter what there is no right answer to an argument. People differ on issues because of everyone’s life experiences, philosophies, and observations of the world. The problem is that when someone is Disabled, many Non-Disabled people just don’t understand the life of a person who is Disabled. They only guess about what difficulties the disability community feels, and there could be back and forth calling names to each other, but this does not solve solve anything except a bigger battle. We need to accept that everyone has different viewpoints and every one has different things they have to say. No one needs to be silenced while they listen to one side of a story, instead everyone needs to understand the whole side of every story.

There is a lot of unrest in the world right now because of racism, because of ableism, because of ageism, because of sexism, because of heterosexism, because of classism, because of so many other ways of discrimination in the world. Yet, we need to forget about our egos, forget about who does what to who, and just remember that we are a community. A community who loves, a community of amazing individuals in the Human race, who cherishes everything we can ever do in the world. Sometimes it can be hard to drop our guards of anger and drop our fears we may have, but it is a necessary part of being human to be able to let it go to be free and happy.

I hope you love, I hope you are smiling, I hope if you are crying you have someone to hold onto, and if you are angry you can let it go to feel joy. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s messy, and sometimes we feel we cannot let go, however regardless of what we think we can’t do, we can always make our own choices. If we choose love, we don’t fear. If we choose fear, we become hateful. Most importantly, if we choose fear and anger, then we need to take a deep breath in, to allow are happiness in, to remember what humanity is all about; having community.

I know that many parents fear for their children who may have disabilities. It can be hard, it can be rough, it can be really difficult trying to figure out how to help their Disabled child. People need to remember to look at the many Disabled people who have been successful with the many aspects of their life as a means to ask questions and reach out for support. Disabled people need to listen to these parents so that they can give advice that matters. These parents need to listen to the advice instead of seeming to ignore the words of the disability community speaking up. Disability cultures exist which includes Autistic culture.

More importantly, this happens a lot in the autism community way too much. Parents look to researchers and other professionals for help instead of looking to Autistic people for the help they need. Researchers and other professionals need to work with us by listening to the Autistic people who can really give a better understanding of what it means to be on the autistic spectrum. One can only guess what it’s like if they are not on the spectrum themselves.

We need to be grateful that some researchers and other professionals have started doing this, but everyone also needs to slow down and breathe too. All in all, everyone who isn’t listening and learning to the Disabled including Autistic people, need to start now. In return, everyone can learn about about each other if only they listen to the things to be taught from those who are different from them. Then, only then, people everywhere will understand and accept a cultural difference that is different from who they are.

Hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!!! Please listen, learn, and love the support network you have with the family that loves you no matter what. #lovenotfear

by the way…

This year is #GivingTuesday on December 2! This Giving Tuesday I hope you support The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network because A.S.A.N. really means to me the importance of community and accepting each other’s differences especially the cultural differences of Disability culture and Autistic culture. A.S.A.N. really is a breakthrough in the world because it really means that everyone who is Autistic or have other disabilities can express their voice or feelings of how they feel without being criticized. A.S.A.N. is about teaching the world what it means to understand each other’s cultural differences regardless of what they may be. It teaches everyone to be accepting even when it’s difficult to accept. Most importantly A.S.A.N. really teaches to love and educate people no matter who they are. The more people are educated, the more they will love, the less fearful and angry they become.

There are other organizations too that support Autistic people too. For example, they are Autism Women’s Network (AWN), Ollibean, Thinking Person’s Guide To Autism (TPGA), Association for Autistic Community, Autistic Community for Equality Facebook page, and G.R.A.S.P. (Global and Regional Autism Spectrum Partnership). When we think about cultures like Autistic culture, we need to think about supporting everyone without feeling like we are better than anyone else. We are all Human. We are all different and we are all learning from each other. The Autistic Rights movement only started about less 30 years ago, but we still have a long way to go.

I also trying to seek out funding for graduate school at CUNY. I started this crowdsourcing, to try to open up some doors. If anyone has any ideas for scholarship, please let me know!


OUT, J

The Importance of Being A Role Model for Others

Many people need role models to be able help facilitate and empower their life. A role model we seek out, helps us build who we are by giving us the opportunity to reach for our proudest moments. There are many things we look for in a role model. A role model needs to be a responsible person who knows who they are, how they want to be represented, knows how to take care of their own needs, and knows how to get what they want. It’s important for a role model to be able to set and enforce their boundaries for themselves whether it is a verbal, non-verbal, or a physical boundary we set for each other. It’s not good to have no boundaries because other people can easily take advantage of us.

By setting boundaries as I am learning to do every day, we balance between what we want the public to do for us and how we want to have privacy. Many people in society tend to overstep their boundaries to misrepresent others, and influence their peers about what they think we are or should be doing. Many people also talk about others without the presence of other people around without giving the other person a chance to respond. A good role model would respect boundaries, know the meaning of YES or NO, listen to other people’s preferences, being honest about their actions, be accommodating to others, and be compassionate. No one can dictate what the other person should or needs to do.

There is a way for everyone to interact in the world expressing their individuality. Some people say that not making eye contact and flapping in public is distracting to other people. There are many people who absolutely need to flap, rock, spin, etc because of the way they are with the environment around them. Although, people who can make eye contact and don’t stim, need to remember that it does not mean they aren’t or can’t be role models to others.

Being a role model is a challenge for many people and is a life long process. Not everyone is a role model everyone can look up to, but it’s important to try hard to be an important person in someone else’s life. Accommodating people is important with how we interact with the world and has importance in knowing that people care. By accommodating, we need to listen, I need to listen. I am learning every day to listen and accommodate other people. Life is a double helix of communication. I’m on one side, and the other person is on the other side while we are all attached to a line. We all represent different colors on the double helix representing our individual humanity.

Our first role model is our own parents. However, not everyone I have met consider their parents role models for them. Although the parents we are born from are who we seek to be our role models first. Parents are there to teach us about love. Love is important because if we don’t know what love is, then we become lost. There are 2 ways to love: by physical intimacy with a romantic partner or by showing compassion to the other person through embracing the other person’s life. We listen and help the person because we want to be a role model for that person to spread love. Loving a person is about showing them that we are there for them. That we care and we adore every aspect of who they are. We want to help guide them in to their life to be a role model and productive member of society. Sometimes people or organizations suggest things to others because the majority of people are doing what they suggest. We need to follow our path, our vision, and to be able to glide into our future. Sometimes it’s not the most traveled path where everyone goes, but it’s our path that matter for each person.

Respect individuality and love the person for who they are because some day they will pay it forward by teaching compassion, love, and honesty for what humanity is.

I am on the right path now and can’t wait to learn while just starting school!

OUT, J