Tag Archives: connecting

A Poem Called “Mourning”

(Trigger Warning: the painful moments may trigger some.)

Mourning,

by theamazinJ

Violence,
hurt,
physical pain,
emotional pain,
murderous draining of blood,
seeping from our veins abstractly,
the pain persists with everyone,
it persists in the community,
it persists in segregated settings,
it persists with disabled people,
it persists with black people,
it persists with jewish people,
it persists with muslims,
it persists with women,
it persists with differences in gender and (a)sexuality,
it persists because of eugenics,
it persists cause of American society today
especially with Donald Trump,
especially with the dark past history of America,
especially with this construction from Francis Galton,
the pain hurts even deeper and darker than that,
from the deepest roots of human history,
many people are in pain,
many people are in mourning
the lack of empathy from the current social construction
of how many individuals in mainstream society don’t understand,
of how many don’t want to understand,
and how we cannot get it right,
we cannot listen to each other,
of how no one has true understanding
unless the person has experienced
or flipped to that side of the coin,
and that only happens when we allow ourselves to experience,
when we just experience it,
and we begin to heal,
heal through humor,
heal through communicating,
heal through love,
heal through laughing amongst each other,
in the community and not in congregate settings separated from the community,
because it’s all about us,
it is all about life,
it’s not about mourning,
it’s not supposed to be a dark life,
it’s supposed to be about seeing the light,
seeing the positive sides of life,
experiencing and loving who we are
so we can experience and love everyone around us,
without causing pain to us or anyone else
regardless of how much pain we already have,
it’s about letting go and moving forward,
It’s Nothing about us, without us,
it’s just about love,
can you go back in time,
to a place in your mind,
to the one you knew you that you just couldn’t find,
when it’s said and done it’s not about losing love,
it’s not about the pain,
it’s about gaining love from everyone we meet,
taking in everything, but not taking too much pain,
the mourning of this day,
heals us when we can laugh instead of cry,
when we can let go and celebrate lives lost,
when we can let go and celebrate our own life,
and when we can just let go and move forward,
Mourning is more about how we laugh until we had to cry
and say to each other,
I love you no matter what,
I love you for who you are or who you were,
people touch, and it lives in our lives forever,
so, let’s move forward
and let’s meet halfway,
made of memories,
believing in destiny,
every moment is about getting living every moment
in the way we stick to each other in the community
regardless of impairments, regardless of what labels society gives us,
and we are stronger when we have given up,
given up on our egos,
given up on our arrogance,
and lived for the humility of humanity,
remembering and always never forgetting,
disability is a major part of human life,
so don’t neglect yourself, don’t neglect others,
and begin to accept the diversity in everything,
the diversity of life, between where we are
where we identify, claiming neurodivergent and claiming disability and even claiming neurotypicality,
finally,
it does not matter what people claim,
it just matters to be happy,
and live knowing
normality is real, but normality is accepting life the way it is,
in the living years
say it loud, say it clear,
so don’t blame the ones before, presently, or after,
just laugh with perfect humor among each other,
no matter what, no matter who,
when nothing about us, without us
really does matter.

A Poem Called “History”

History,

by theamazinj

Story,
feelings,
hurt,
healing,
history.
History says,
stop and think,
history says,
go ahead and review,
history says,
forget and forgive,
history says,
neurodiversity,
history says,
we are neurodivergent
unless we claim to be neurotypical
from the social construction.
Whether Neurotypical or claiming Neurodivergence,
we are here or we are there,
we are sad or we are happy,
we are gone or we are forgotten,
we are staying or we are leaving.
Every day is history,
every year is history
every day we remember not repeat history,
from pre-history days to historical views,
from the day we end it to the day we begin,
from what we hate to what we love,
every day is a good day of extenuating circumstances,
love or be loved, hate or be hated,
everyone loves yet everyone hates at the same time.
Do we go?
Do we let loose?
do we win? or, do we lose?
do we just let go?
Communicate to let go,
leave to let go,
stay to let go,
drive to let go,
roll to let go,
spin in circles to release everything,
release the tension,
release the bitterness,
release the anger,
release the love deep in your heart.
Everywhere we go,
everywhere we attend,
wherever we enter,
whatever we exit,
go and be seen,
include yourself in what you want,
exclude what you do not like,
saying it will be heard later,
without feeling guilty for doing that.
Sometimes we are hurt,
sometimes we feel situated in our brain with ease,
building our mind with knowledge,
creatively discovering who and what we are,
inventing and reinventing until we become the person we are meant to be,
sometimes gone,
sometimes hurt,
sometimes we are longing for lust,
while longing for our hearts to be satisfied.
Feeling nature, experiencing everything around us,
and building who we are with
who we are with self-determination.
Sometimes it takes growth,
sometimes it takes seclusion,
sometimes it takes isolation,
while sometimes we need to live in solitude.
Some may say its loneliness,
when it really just is self-care, self-love, and self-worth.
Giving our identity to the world can be overwhelming,
giving every word every sentence and every picture,
exposes everything and pushes us to detach from the community.
We have our faith, we have our lion, we have our gopher, and once again,
we have our spirit in the winds,
no matter what we do,
it’s on us,
because it’s history,
it’s in our genes,
it’s in how we express those genes,
and it’s how we see the world through the social model,
through the way disability is a part of us all,
finally being the imperfect of who we are.
History: The story of our lives.
disabled or non-disabled,
accepting or just being in pain,
it’s time for the future,
for the future of history.

A Poem Called “Disease”

Disease,

by theamazinJ

Pushing,
pulling,
feuding,
crying for help,
hurting from the pain
from everyone around
who don’t appreciate,
from everyone who
don’t understand life.
Arguing with each other,
swinging the bodies in disgust,
feeling out of control,
the starchness of who we are,
as disabled people,
as we are neurodivergent,
as we are told to pass,
as we can’t be who we are,
as everyone becomes robots,
as everyone’s movements become fixed,
and the way we communicate become stuck,
without flapping,
without spinning,
without moving in the way that we are free,
without speaking with our true voice,
and speaking, moving, and guarding ourselves
in a way society wants.
It saddens me society doesn’t understand,
it hurts me society won’t give respect
unless these things are done,
and everyone does what is necessary
to be considered intelligent,
unless everyone speaks, moves, and intellectualizes in a way
society wants it
to gain the respect we should have had all along.
Society can be funny.
the physiology can be different than the way society actually is,
the way our brains work,
the way our bodies move,
and the way our spirit is to make a difference,
everyone is here for a purpose,
everyone intellectualizes differently,
everyone has different thoughts,
everyone is here to get their voices out there,
to debate, to argue their points, and to listen
however we all listen,
we are not here to be robots,
we are not here to be clones,
and certainly we are not here to be different than who we are.
Everywhere we go, everywhere we burst into a room,
every time we open a door,
we open the door to another opening
to another meeting,
to meeting more people,
to seeing what we can see,
to hearing new things
and to meet with new partners,
eventually committing to a partner if we choose.
Sometimes we have positive thoughts,
sometimes we have negative thoughts,
and many times the positive and the negative fight together in our heads,
creating anxiety and not knowing what to do.
The power of thought helps us know
what we want to think,
whether it is positive or negative,
or just a debate in our head,
or just a voice we are struggling to hear from another person.
Sometimes we would do anything for love,
even run from hell and back,
and sometimes we actually meet people for a reason to help us at the time
who only help us grow to meet the people who stick with us for life,
while meeting people every day of our life,
speaking the moment of truth,
finding the love we need to live,
while engaging with violent outbursts in our heads
between negative and positive thoughts,
and the powerful outbursts sometimes show in the real world
while most times it just lies inside our heads,
fighting our emotions, fighting our feelings, and fighting what we want to think,
a positive thought can be overthrown easily by a negative thought
if we don’t build a wall in our mind to overthrow the negatives in our mind
because we have to remember thoughts are things
and thoughts create our reality
while thoughts fighting in our minds
become inner battles for what we want in our life,
everyone gives, everyone takes, and everyone battles,
about or but what is.
the door is always open, we just have to open every door,
we just have to be who we are,
with our neurodivergent brains,
with our disabled bodies or not disabled at the time,
and whether we choose to pass for neurotypicality
and how much we choose to be neurotypicality,
finally, it is our choice,
and from that choice,
we choose to make love or to take love,
even when its a rainy night or just clear skies,
all we have to do is make that decision and live with what we choose,
deciding the magic we want to deliver to the world,
with the love we have to give and share,
and see with our eyes the beauty we made
for the world to see and share everywhere.
All we want to do is make the love,
and open the doors wherever we see them.
What about love? What’s missing?
Open the doors!

A Poem Called “FilmDis”

FilmDis,

by theamazinJ

Critical analysis of film,
the spirit of film,
creating ideas,
suggesting ideas,
collaborating with others,
including all voices,
evening the playing field,
incorporating the film business with disabled people,
watching, viewing, and discussing film,
everyone needs this,
everyone gains from it all,
no one is left behind,
everyone’s words are valid and appreciated,
making films that count,
making films that we enjoy,
making films we despise,
raising the bar in filmmaking,
everything is illuminated with thought,
everything can be taught,
no one is left behind,
we discuss what we like,
we discuss what we don’t like,
regardless of who we are,
regardless of disability or abled-bodiness,
regardless of gender,
regardless of what we believe,
even regardless of what we say.
some, don’t like it,
some, enjoy it,
some even spread the message further,
some even consider their duty,
filmdis is important,
discussing the themes,
discussing the action,
discussing the visuals,
discussing the plot,
discussing the sound and the way we perceive light,
even discussing the perception and mentality of society.
Everyone’s included,
everyone can say how they feel,
no one can belittle anyone,
no one can talk down to others
like their activism is not enough or not good enough,
we speak for ourselves,
but we listen to everyone.
Film activism creates themes of change,
film activism debunks and de-stigmatizes
what didn’t work and what can work better,
organizations mean nothing,
it’s in the heart of what the individual citizen says,
not in what families say,
not in what organizations say,
and certainly not what legislators or a President says,
The President and legislators must listen to individual citizens
like FilmDis needs to listen to individuals in and out of the film business,
like in the way organizations or families need to listen to individuals,
regardless of what organizing people or families actually say,
because in the end,
we all may wholly agree in a discussion,
we all may wholeheartedly disagree.
The discussion becomes fulfilled when
everyone understands, everyone listens, no one feels invalidated,
and no one feels belittled or stupid,
finally giving the individual a voice,
a voice speaking for themselves,
a voice speaking for what they believe in,
a voice in discussions,
and a voice among thousands of other voices,
because no one can repute,
but everyone can just listen,
and give the most,
taking the least,
while taking in and reflecting on a moment
on the ideas an individual citizen actually has,
take a moment and reflect
remembering FilmDis,
and remembering organizing means nothing
when there is no outreach,
when there is no discussion,
and there is no inclusion,
Nothing about us, without Us!

A Poem Called “To Have or To Have Not”

To Have or To Have Not,

by theamazinJ

thinking,
breathing,
moralizing,
mortalizing,
forgetting,
forgiving,
fulfilling,
attributing,
differentiating,
differing,
limiting,
limitless,
it happens when we think,
it does not happen viably,
living everyday,
gawking at,
watching what we like,
disbanding what we don’t,
everyday is something,
nothing can be emptiness,
nothingness or beauty,
grouping or individuality,
haves or haves not,
furthering our dreams,
looking toward who we are,
creating a new normal,
a brand new construction,
a life is worth living,
everyone has something,
without rejecting the secret,
or, with living however you want,
goals of intuition,
warping with your tribe,
flipping through the book,
gone, but not gone,
lifting with joy,
sad for something,
angry to sometimes,
fearing for existence,
happy to live,
urging the silence
following the abundance,
connecting the world,
fulfilling,
guaranteeing observation,
gleefully determined,
everything happens the way we want
by believing in what we do,
belief for ourselves,
having the haters,
while also having the lovers,
springing board like a magnet
insisting the goal,
fueling our rights,
eventually
presumptuously
acting upon faith,
faith of the spirit,
faith of the the angel,
mostly, faith in ourselves.
To have or to have not,
we can have abundance
or we can have gloom,
we can have our mind
or we can live through others,
we can have much to accomplish
or we can fear for the anxiety not to,
everything is anxiety,
everything determines what you do in life,
and, everything is illuminated
no matter what,
so, go out there
and live it the way it is intended,
with the way feelings go by everyday,
with emotions, with fight or flight,
with ease or with difficulty,
with choosing to be with a tribe
or choosing individuality,
and most importantly,
choosing impossibility with possibility
because once we choose,
we choose life worth living,
and that’s the route individual citizens
want to take,
regardless of what neurodivergence living
or what social construction we want to abide by,
and what kind of a person we want to become.,
because it does not matter,
and don’t care what anyone says,
putting others messages second,
while doing something first,
remembering,
nothing about us, without us,
always.