Tag Archives: connecting

A Poem called “Pride within and without Prejudice”

Pride within and without Prejudice,

by theamazinJ

Must be proud,
without prejudice,
everyone is solid,
everyone’s fluid even with gender,
even with their thoughts,
even with strong willed thoughts
that we all think and think that,
no one is solid enough just to be rich,
no one is solid enough to be you, me, or anything,
everyone is vulnerable,
vulnerable to the point of moving away from you,
moving away from institutional thinking,
moving away from complicity,
moving away from compliance of what
the world wants stemming away from authenticity,
beating us down, beating us, beating us,
until we are all the same
and until no one is different,
and without authenticity,
however, what is authenticity?
Finding you, finding me, finding ourselves
until we are found,
found guts, found what we are.
Everyone has the guts,
everyone has the strength,
speaking to be well,
weaker than weak,
stronger than strong,
all in between.
Have you ever loved someone
so much, and found everyone
never really experienced who you are,
what you are, and think they are?
Maybe that is the problem,
maybe that is the thing that needs fixing,
maybe that is the thing we need,
we need
we need
we need
we need
we need what we want,
we need what we want
we need what we want
we need what we want totally
totally in our strength,
in our strength
to be who we are,
who we are in a world
who wants complicity
in a world who wants compliance
instead of respect,
instead of manners,
instead of receiving and giving and respecting boundaries
to the other person(s) or groups around.
They take our children,
they take our dignity,
they take everything,
but most importantly,
they take our love away,
only to say we have to love
the governing bodies or the complicity of compliance
that does not make sense,
because we are totally impart from that,
we are totally not like that,
and we are totally explicitly
controlled, we are all totally implicitly remarked
and we fight,
when we are told our voices are unreal,
when are communications are invalid and distorted,
and all our thoughts have to be programmed
the way dictators see it
even when dictators don’t recognize it
even when dictators can’t see it,
even when too many look too closely,
even when we just have the right
to freedom of speech regardless how we speak,
regardless what we want to say
to be complicit only to ourselves
compliant to the person we are individually
and never ever strike a match
start a war,
and fight another person
because we don’t like that
or we don’t like it
or we just have it
in the world around us
because we speak for what we want,
and it’s always nothing about us, without us.
I love so much you
take it or leave it,
but never understand it,
because you never will
only for complicity
and for the unwillful act
to dictate and the unfulfilling
rights to be struck by a exemplary probation prohibition,
even when we are all really the person we are born as
and no one can take that away,
no one can get us to comply to behaviors not making sense,
and no one has the right to act
like they have it all, when they really have nothing,
think about it,
we cannot feel when we can’t comply to something not making sense.
When it’s really pride without prejudice
without being someone else.
Amen.

A Poem Called “It’s my Identity”

It’s My Identity,

by theamazinJ

I live for my identity,
It may not be yours,
it may not be what you like,
it may not be what you learn(ed) and even accept,
it may not be what you would do,
it may not be who you love,
it may not be what you love,
it may not be who you like,
it may not even be your experiences,
it may not be your way of viewing the world,
it may be have a different sensory existence in the community,
it may not be your way of communication,
it may not even be your lifetime traumas,
it may not be the way you feel oppressed,
but it is mine.
it may even be a different culture of humanity,
it is disability culture and other cultures,
Cultures of humanity not very accepted or very well understood,
cultures collide, cultures fight, cultures battle, cultures in-fight, and cultures stream for survival,
I sing for you not to focus in on me,
while will not focus in on you,
I sing to you to say how much I love you,
I paint pictures of what is love in this world,
while not very well loved and even hated.
I love many, but some don’t really love me,
I find my emotions draw me to love and accept any one
while taking time to understand, some are not loveable,
and even when a President who is unloveable and ignorant and naive and
all considered to be manipulating a society into the past
without moving forward to the future.
I love regardless and presently,
I don’t forgive easily, but am learning to do this gracefully
especially when it comes to closest relationships,
because a relationship is sentimental no matter who has joined in
on the relationship as a friend, as an ex-friend, as a former lover, as a previous crush, as a colleague,
or as a part of the people
who came into this world with me initially,
because a relationship is cognitive,
because a relationship is to be cherished,
as relationship is inevitable and a way to build on
a network that eventually can land us a beautiful romance, wonderful job opportunities,
much much support during the most painful times, and
even the most celebrated and honoring times
with much many much much love and abundance for who we are.
I sit in every corner of every room
observing,
I sit in every corner watching,
I sit in every corner,
enjoying every relationship forming and re-forming and bonding
because every relationship we’ve created
even every relationship accepts the journey of my path
even with not wanting your way and wanting my way,
we get to build the relationships we get
whether we want it or not,
because a relationship forms
and we get to describe the culture we are in,
and the cultures form, the person forms the identity,
the identity becomes the person, and everything
else just becomes the relationships we made,
we sustain, we end, we recirculate, we create,
we recreate, and we find a true partner
to be with us until death do us part.
No one can tell us who,
no one can tell us what,
no one can tell us how,
because intuition is a part of all of us
coming in different forms, different structure,
and different ways of understanding the world.
I accept you,
I hope you accept me,
I love no matter what,
and no one can tell me otherwise.

A Poem Called “Labels”

Labels,

by theamazinj

Labels are important,
they can be very powerful,
when one is called stupid
to when one is called crazy.
Labels are important,
they tell the kinds of things a person is.
Labels are powerful
when used
like when we are called Brilliant, Honest, or a Liar.
Labels can hurt or be very respectful
especially when using the words,
Racist, Ableist, Abuser, or even Loving.
Words can hurt, but they can also heal.
I love you. I hate you. I despise you. I am in awe of you.
Labels are NOT just for cans, they are for everything and everyone.
It’s why TAXONOMY exists, it’s why we always use them.
Labels are important.
I love you,
I hate you,
I filter you.
I am so in love.
I am so in anger.
I have anxiety for you.
Labels are important.
Labels are important.
Labels are important.
Labels help and can also hurt.
They hurt when we use the R word,
they hurt when we use the N word,
however, we spin a word around
and make it a different word with a different meaning
so easily.
Like for the R word, Rich,
and the N word, Neighborly.
When we think of words,
we need to think of the positive words
and the positive meanings
and when we want to criticize,
instead of saying,
Ableist or Racist or Misgyonist or Sexist or Heterosexist or even pervert,
we need to treat people with respect and positive their whole lives,
once we label a negative word to a person
it sticks with that person for life.
Life’s journey is saturated with labels,
it’s saturated with bigotry,
it’s saturated with misunderstandings and miscommunications,
So, does labels go on cans and people?
Of course they do, they do every day.
So, it’s labels important?
Yes, of course they are.
Labels were created because of TAXONOMY,
because of categorizing,
but we can label things giving people something to live up to,
or we can label things giving people a dark windy tunnel to run through
trying to find the light.
sometimes we have to realize,
Being disabled is a part of life and is not a bad word,
we have to realize being Autistic is a part of life too,
we have to remember being Neurodivergent is a part of life as well,
and that society’s so called ‘normal’ is derogatory
even when called ‘neurotypical’ now and even
the way everyone embraces that social construction of ‘normal’ or ‘neurotypical’.
TAXONOMY is important, and labels are so powerful,
Just think about the labels
and you can think about your life.
Labels that are given to and accepted by individual citizens
do in fact define a person,
so think about when you call a person crazy, stupid, insane, ugly, overemotional, or even irrational,
how much pain you may be causing someone,
and may be you may want to use more positive words about anyone,
like intelligent, creative, loving, caring, and even beautiful.
Words matter, labels matter, labels mean everything.
The social construction of ‘normal’ is important, but not very logical.
Just remember being disabled or being neurodivergent is a thing
everyone experiences.

A Poem Called “Blank blah blah blah no words to express”

Blank blah blah blah no words to express,

by theamazinJ

It takes effort,
It takes comfort,
It takes me,
It takes determination,
It takes a willingness to be honest,
It takes the ability to do,
so why lie or be lied to,
when there is the truth,
when there is the honesty of the truth,
when everywhere we go the truth is behind us,
the truth sets us free,
even when we have done things to hurt,
even when we have done things irresponsibly,
even when we have triggered many people,
even from our own chronic post traumatic stress throughout life,
even with the hurt and pain that we have felt
it doesn’t mean others have to feel that pain too,
it does not mean everyone needs to hear it,
it just means we have to let it go,
It just means we can’t hold on to something just because,
It doesn’t mean that we allow anxiety to take it over
and control it and exasperate the events or what was heard or done that was painful,
It just means that we let it go,
Let it go and move forward,
understand, determine, listen, guide,
sure, many took advantage of who I am,
sure, many misunderstood and misunderstand the person I am,
sure, sure, sure,
it just does not mean everything needs to be about what happened or what was said or what was done,
it’s about believing, feeling, and shutting it out of the mind,
putting it in the back of the mind
to recall once we are lying on our old bed with gray and smiles all around
ready for a laugh, ready to wipe away the tears, and ready to move forward,
for now, it’s time to move forward on the journey to that moment,
it’s time to live the life it was meant to be,
it’s time to think everything about what I want and not so much what everyone else wants or just thinking about everyone,
it’s my life, it’s my art, it’s my films, it’s my poetry, it’s my work as a scholar I am meant to do to make differences,
It’ time to live, it’s time to focus on me, it’s time to de-focus on those past events, those past things I tried, and be in the present,
I am me, so who are you.
I want me, so what do you want.
I crave my talents. So, what are you going to do about it.
I always listen to my own mind. So, what do you think about that.
I study, I read, I paint, I film, I do many things within my studies. So, how do you like them apples?
I mark my journey to the end to the beginning when I am ready. So, what?
I scope the map of my journey and everything I want to do and get done before it’s too late. Hah, are you ready for me? are you ready for what I can do?
I will have a positive life that I want to have. A-HA, why are you laughing?
I know what I am capable of and I know when and how I need support. Think about that.
So, let’s go and do this thing we call life, and live.
Because in the end, it’s all about living while having ups and downs, while maneuvering through obstacles, and working on what I want,
looking forward to the beginning when I am ready, and the journey to the beginning when I am old and gray.
Let’s do this! let’s live! let’s give it our all! And, once and for all, let’s just be the best we can be!
Take care and see you around.

A Poem Called “Is it worth the frustration to be ‘nOrMAL'”

Is it Worth the Frustration to be nOrMAL,

by theamazinJ

Normal
nORMAl
NORmal
norMAL
NORMAL!
I feel the frustration,
is it normal?
Is it supposed to be passing for norMAL?
WHAT IS dammmit, NORMAL?
Normal is…
difficult,
NORMAL is…
frustrating,
NORmal is…
OMG!
NORMAL is…
OMG…I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!
NORmal is…
Oh my goodness, OMG, Oh my GOD!
NORMAL, what can I say?
NORMAL, it is hard
It’s like very few can pass for it,
yet MANY embrace it.
It’s so very stimulating or in this case,
TRigGERRing to have to pass for norMAL!~~~

NORMAL IS…
hurtful,
especially when I am not NoRMAL,
including my friends who are not NORmal either,
or even whenever I walk down a street
I see MANY struggling to be NorMAl,
NORMAL is a social construction,
it is passing for…
what America wants,
it is passing for…
being non-disabled or NON-NEURODIVERGENT,
also, when EVERYONE is born NEURODIVERGENT,
but only PASS for NORMAL
and embrace NORMALITY
only to
ACCEPT NORMALITY
AND
Oppress The MANY citizens out there who CANNOT,
especially when
you are NEUROQUEER,
OR even when
you are not one of the BINARY genders
when gender is FLUID and is non-binary,
NOT saying I am non-binary, I AM JUST OPEN-MINDED
to everyone’s gender differences and EVERYONE’s iDeNTitiES,
and the self-determination of being WHO WE ARE INDIVIDUALLY,
and being the person we are MEANT TO BE and ARE in this world.
NOrMaL, what the heck is it,
when it’s all about when WHITE MaLE Christians who created the damn word many years ago,
who wanted EVERYONE to conform to THEM,
and who WANTED everyone to be non-disabled, non-neurodivergent, and labelled by IQ.
AND, who also wanted EVERYONE to look, feel, and think the SAME way,
How NORMAL is that when SO many are different races, of different religions,
of different thinking types, of different emotional types, of different FEeLIngs,
OF different concurrences acting at the SAME time,
OR of different lapses of time splitting in their heads,
and of different genders and differences in disability,
BECAUSE everyone can DO it,
NO one is IMMUNE to think differently, WE are CREATIVE which is WHY normal was made,
which is why things are DiFFerent.

Normalizing what?,

by theamazinJ

MORE importantly why WE all make MISTAKES especially with TRY(ING) to NORMALIZE America,
and in many CASES NORMALIZE the WHOLE WORLD, but many CANNOT be NORMAL,
MANY cANNOt think NORMAL, many CANnot feel norMAL
because NORMAL is painful especially when someone is disabled,
especially painful when someone is NEURODIVERGENT
when being NeuroDiVERgent is not VERY embraced
and people want to accept NORMAL as the ‘in’ thing as the BRAINS and the one with IQ,
and neurodivergent as OUT, as the ‘OTHER’, and the one that is WEIRD or FREAK or INCOMPETENT or
STUPID or even the re2379427d,
eVERyone is really neurOdivergent, but many seem to discount it, seem to disregard it, or even THINK SAMENESS is the ‘in’ thing,
when EVERYONE is really different,
everyone is really …
CREATIVE, emoTIONal, lEarnING all the time, brainy, INTELLIGENT, gaining WISDOM everyday, has their own WaY of doing things.
while everyone can …
BREAKDOwn, everyone can..
meltdown,
everyone can…
hit rockbottom to only rise to the TOP,
EVERYONE can…
MAKE a MASTERPIECE OR Make an invention OR make a discovery from within themselves that CREATES connection
and CREATES something with their MINDS even when it is just very small BECAUSE it really is VERY BIG for the world,
just like NORMAL was and just the way NORMAL was created
ESPECIALLY when normal is destructive to a human being’s personhood and just when normal can also construct certain elements of life,
because normal is paining and hurting MANY in this world
our peers who are not of the binary genders like you or I,
our peers who are NEUROQUEER
our peers who are a(sexual) or even sexual,
OUR peers who are mixed race, or not of the same race as you or I,
OR the way me and my peers who believe in different religious or spiritual thinkings,
or how many citizens who are disabled, neurodivergent seem to experience the world differently
even when the disability and neurodivergence is autism,
or even when it is cerebral palsy, down syndrome, or many other different developmental disabilities
because having developmental disability is NOT considered normal and is not considered intelligent and
seems to always associate with judgement, always associates with stupidity and incompetence and not knowing what is right or what is wrong,
because in the end, it’s normal, it’s abnormal, it’s just living, it’s just life.

Normalizing Why?

by theamazinJ

Being developmentally disabled is
being more INTELLIGENT than peers who embrace normality can even fathom,
its’s being more FUN and comical than one can even think about,
AND, is being more empathic and CREATIVE at the same time than any other citizens can even feel and think,
Being developmentally disabled or even have psychiatric disability is a thing, but it does not have to mean the person has to be this normal…
or has to abide by the rules that the leaders of normal created years ago,
Being developmentally disabled and having psychiatric disability is part of being human,
It’s a way that life sets us off, it’s a way to experience the world, and it’s a way of being intelligent differently,
since anyone of us can have psychiatric disability because it’s part of human experiences,
and developmental disability is a thing that happens to many, but not all, as a way to know being human is IMPERFECT,
and being human is MORTAL, and being human, everyone will have different ways to express the genes of the human race,
EVERYONE is GREAT, everyone is GOOD, and EVERYONE thinks different, and MOST importantly NORMAL was just a story or concept created but does not have to be embraced by anyone.
I am male, I am neurodivergent, I am autistiC, I am Jewish, I am spiritual, I am a artist, I am a beginning filmmaker, I am a scholar, I read many books and articles, I am a poet,
I am a person of science, I am many identities, I always have my own mind,
and most importantly,
I am J.