Tag Archives: connecting

A Poem Called “I am not retarded”

I am not retarded,

by theamazinJ

I can think for myself,
I have a mind of my own,
I am a Masters student,
I am a filmmaker,
I am an artist,
I am a poet,
I am a person,
I am not less than what you think,
I am an independent citizen,
I need support like everyone else,
I am capable even though I am disabled,
disability does not mean I am hidden from society,
disability does not mean I cannot say “I am disabled and proud”
disability does not mean my voice does not matter,
disability does not mean I can’t do anything,
disability means I need to structure my supports
and build a supported decision making agreement
between my supporters
as myself being the decision maker
like you and you and you in the world.
I disagree with people
as much as I agree,
I do not agree with you on some things,
but I agree on other things,
and that’s okay.
I can speak out on what I believe and feel
an that’s ok because it’s how I feel
and it does not mean
I am too easily influenced or ‘brainwashed’
because being ‘brainwashed’ is not even a thing,
it is a social construction, it is not even real,
and it is figure of speech of
someone’s imagination to make a person seem crazy,
to make a person feel disregarded as a person,
and to not allow a person to take responsibility for their choices
even if the person felt at the time
to choose something for their own self-care,
even if it was for their own way of
making meaning with the world,
my own way of growing and maturing
and doing things on my own,
to get to an understanding of what
I can do without the world telling me otherwise
as if I need to always be told
as if I am child and not the adult that I am.
Presuming competence is so important,
it is so liberating for everyone
because the social model of disability
is not about discrediting medicine,
it is about self-determination
it’s about de-stigmatizing what the medical model did,
so disabled people make their decisions
and using accommodations even it is from medicine
to help a person live their life,
even if they need other accessibilities
to do this as well,
even if many do not understand the
social model of disability,
that’s ok, but please don’t discredit it,
don’t discredit an individual’s right to make decisions
based on how they may feel at the time,
allow leeway in may be taking responsibility
for why the individual chose that decision at the time,
may be it wasn’t all about the individual’s behavior
maybe it could have been the way
the individual felt from the behavior
of the people around them.
Relationships are a two way street.
Everything that happens is never one sided,
it is never the fault of one person,
everyone can always take responsibility for
every decision that is made by an individual.
There is a reason why things happen,
and sometimes that reason needs to be known,
sometimes the reason is projected on the decision maker
because the other people don’t want to
feel bad or don’t want to know they might have done
something wrong.
There is never what someone did was wrong
like there is never what someone did was right.
Every decision we make is something we did
from how we felt at the time.
Everywhere we go, every decision we make,
are decisions that may have been
tough for us to make,
but it was decisions from our path
to help us grow,
to help us mature,
and to help us further our destiny
to live our life.
Every decision an individual makes
is by how we felt
and whoever was around the individual at that time
including the individual
who needs to take responsibility for that decision.
Take responsibility for yourself
and most importantly take responsibility
for every other person as a decision maker
regardless of who the person is or was
even if person is disabled or
even if the person is non-disabled.
It’s not all about you or them,
it’s all about the decision that was made.

Building Bridges when meeting people in groups

Meet up groups : Specific Functions

1) Meeting with likeminded individuals in the community, not in a congregate settings like a home or other segregated areas
2) Hanging out, socializing, getting to know people in the community going to events the organizers create
3) Sharing ideas
4) Not anticipating finding a sexual partner, (if the person is looking for this then they should not anticipate or expect this at all from happening), and just sharing each other’s moments even if it is playing a board game or any other type of activity
5) Think about building bridges with each other and not complaining or criticizing each other

Meeting in groups are supposed to be for fun social events for everyone to enjoy together because people came together for that purpose. Don’t let anyone take that fun away from you and don’t allow anyone into your head to take your experience you needed from that group. Some groups exist and are run by professionals like social workers, but not all are run by professionals. Every group is run for a purpose to bring people together. Those people who are impaired needing support to get them to the group tend to go to groups that are run by professionals while those people who are impaired with needing little support in getting them to the group, tend to go to groups run by peers.

No one can go to a group to anticipate meeting anyone even finding a partner or a friend. It is just about being with a group in the community. When anyone is in a congregate setting too long whether it is in their own home or other segregative setting, it is not good for anyone.

When getting people together, it is never about anticipation, it is all about not hesitating to be meeting people in the group you choose to be with. Meeting in groups is all about being with others who want to experience and explore together the same event or socializing experience at the exact time and at that exact moment of human experience. It does not matter whether the person is disabled or not, inclusion should be an option if the person desires to be in that group respectively as part of the community.

That is why I created my own group on the meet up website over a year ago called Neurodiverse Central Network. This is group is about hanging out with people regardless of disability and varying impairments with their allies if desired as well if they want to have them there. Members of this group respect each other regardless of disability or not, and by respecting each other, no one can make any one feel bad for what they feel or believe. The conversation is open to experiencing each other and communicating different ideas, respecting opinions as just that, opinions. That’s what nothing about us, without us, is all about.

A Poem Called “Feelings”

Feelings,

by theamazinJ

Are we mad?
Are we crying?
Are we angry?
Madness is real,
Happiness is seriously experienced.
It’s Ok to be crying,
It’s Ok to be angry,
It’s Ok to laugh and enjoy,
Feelings are real,
but how much is too much,
how much feelings can we really express,
feelings hurt, feelings show hurt,
feelings can be happy,
feelings can be funny,
feelings can go too far
feelings can not express that much,
feelings are emotional,
everywhere we go,
everywhere we see things,
we express our emotions through feelings,
Raging feelings from everywhere,
raging these things sometimes extremely,
sometimes not so much,
but, is it Ok to express our feelings as hurt?
Sometimes we scream to be heard,
other times we whisper to conceal,
and many times its hard to speak up clearly
what we want to express from our feelings.
Everywhere we go,
everywhere we think things through,
every time we search for what we feel,
we don’t exactly feel.
The search is over,
feelings are there through emotions,
it’s Ok to express how we feel,
no matter how we feel.
It takes guts,
it takes experience to use them,
and it even allows our feelings to ponder.
Pondering joy,
withering sadness,
perseverating over anger,
being afraid,
it’s all a part of being human.
It’s okay to stay strong,
but being strong is using these feelings
using these as entitlements,
using these as part of privileges,
using these parts of ourselves
like a lion roaring in the country,
because
we experience everything really
we experience almost anything,
and we experience growth when we age,
for as we age,
we experience feelings like an eclipse,
an eclipse that is unpredictable in how we feel about things,
an eclipse that contributes to graphic display,
when it’s so important to feel,
even when we want to explore,
and even when we give love in the dark
to bring in the light,
while we feel,
while we enjoy the bright lights,
finally experiencing the world.
Everywhere we go,
everywhere we stay,
everywhere we live,
we need to curb our feelings
we need to let go and pick our battles,
because in the end,
there are consequences
more so than rewards,
and from those consequences is taking responsibility
remembering to use those feelings kindly
while without warning and without unpredictability,
to give those around you
the feelings you want them to have
to feel good.

A Poem Called “Society Meets the Activist”

Society Meets the Activist,

by theamazinJ

One day,
a long time ago,
in a far off place,
society met an Activist,
the first of their kind.
The Activist spoke out against everything society stood for,
I mean, everything, literally everything,
Talking about society’s social construction,
talking about society’s discrimination,
even talking about society’s lack of accommodation,
and when the shit hit the fan even more,
society’s idea of passing rather than being true to ourselves.
The Activist turns 20, then 30, then 40 and so on,
and every time the Activist says something,
they are bullied into silence,
they are told they are fake,
they are told to be quiet and let society just be,
they are told to not be loud and proud,
they are told to take a vacation or just leave society for good,
everywhere the Activist goes,
he wants to make a difference,
to show the society what Human dignity means,
what Human respect means,
and the ways everyone needs accommodating,
the way society can be accessible if they even try,
A long time ago before the first of the month,
society jumped in to vote for a sloth,
a man who would fight Activists,
a man who would say the work Activists have done was fake,
a man who created the term Fake News,
a man who marked war against the world,
a man who created fights between himself and every minority group
including the disability minority group,
especially those people who think and play and move and live differently than him,
a man who is a supremacist,
a man who hates Activists, but then calls himself an Activist for doing what he does,
Activists have gotten criticism for the work they do
and even from the very first Activist a long time ago
in a galaxy far far away,
because being an Activist is tough,
being an Activist is one of the hardest things anyone can do,
Activists make societies uncomfortable,
Activists make the leader of any society go crazy,
Activists speak out and then get hashed by society,
Activists ignore society’s words,
until the Activist actually passes on,
then everyone praises the Activist who spoke out,
and a day or memorial becomes real for the Activist who passed on
to one day everyone quoting them
even when everyone fought against the Activist while alive,
even when everyone took a stand that they would never do it,
however, the Activist took a stand, and now everyone listens,
and now, everyone sees what they said,
finally in the end,
The Activist looks down upon the society from the heavens above,
noticing this change, noticing this new embodiment,
and says to oneself with all smiles and chuckling:
“Now, they listen, really, now they really are listening
really, I am astonished, I am a star up here in the heavens,
shining down on them at night, and
when I could speak, no one wanted to listen to me,
thanks a lot to all thou, thanks to all thou”
As society takes on more and more giving and less trash talk
for what the Activist said, for every action the Activist conveyed,
and for every time the Activist fought them to be heard
exactly how they Activist wanted to heard,
So, continue what you are doing,
if you believe it,
someday it will happen.
Someday they will all listen,
even if it takes a lifetime.
Believe.
And Move forward.

A Poem Called “Tyrant and Martyr”

Tyrant and Martyr,

by theamazinJ

One day,
a tyrant walked in the door,
they walked up to the cafe stand,
sat down on the bench,
asked for a coffee, a shot of whisky, and steak with eggs,
asking the steak be well done to martyr without the blood,
The Tyrant say “I hate blood, I drink far too often”
The Martyr taking their order says “Be right up and ready in 10 minutes”
The Tyrant spills the beans,
they become very serious as always,
the tyrant rubs his forehead in dismay,
they refute anything that comes their way.
The tyrant sits and waits,
and waits and waits and waits,
ready for something to happen.
The martyr disputes the order.
They take the conversation further,
saying to each other without each other hearing either one,
“You hurt me, You started first, NOW is the time your going to pay”
The tyrant thinks in their own mind how they will make their martyr pay
while the martyr thinks of ways their tyrant can seek revenge.
The martyr glares at the whisky, wonders about the coffee,
and thinks of something as that steak grills
while those eggs get cooked and cooked.
The tyrant fuels their anger on ways to say
how much the martyr is their beyotch.
But, the martyr is thinking something differently,
that may be the Tyrant is their lover.
A lover who cannot admit their vulnerabilities,
and instead changes the thoughts and feelings
of the martyr to think they are vulnerable to them.
The tyrant grabs their fork, gets up from their chair at the bar,
and brings the fork to the chart outside the bathroom,
throws the fork into the bullseye,
and says to themselves, “I won!”
The martyr takes their spoon
and cherishes for themselves to ease their energy
while remembering something they need to communicate.
The martyr has been abused by their tyrant.
The tyrant wants the martyr to think of their abuse to them.
No one wins anything right, but everyone wins in their own way.
Every time the tyrant and the martyr walk into the room together,
they spill themselves like this every single time
no matter what.
So, what it’s going to be?
The tyrant gets their way
or, the martyr finally gets theirs.
The martyr or the tyrant?
Is the Tyrant accusatory?
Is the martyr thinking about revenge when they shouldn’t?
Violence among each other,
violence solving issues?
Human contact is vulnerable to violence,
whether it is physical, emotional, psychological, or even spiritual.
The tyrant finally gets their steak and eggs after longer than 10 minutes,
after that finally gets their whisky,
then after that gets their coffee spilling with beans.
The tyrant asks “What are these beans for?” to the martyr.
The martyr answers “The beans are for every time you pass gas thinking about every thought you ever had”
The tyrant stands up glaring at the martyr,
“Is that a threat?”
The Martyr just says “No, it’s what happens when you eat beans that come with your eggs, see it’s on the menu”
The Tyrant says “Oh, I didn’t see that!”
The Tyrant backs down and goes about eating.
See, the tyrant thinks they knows everything, has hurt many in their lifetime, and takes away freedoms.
While, seeing how the martyr is very angry the way their freedoms were taken away by them.
The tyrant calls for action and terrible action everyday,
thinking the world is about to end without them,
while the martyr thinks the world has ended already from the Tyrant.
However, the tyrant is giddy and laughing now,
when they walk to the next table behind the bar they are sitting down on,
seeing another potential for them to abuse.
The tyrant explains they are getting up to the martyr,
when the martyr asks “What for?”
But, the Tyrant gets up, pays 5 dollars on the counter, and walks over to the other at the tables.
The Martyr says “But, that will be 20 dollars, not 5…”
The Tyrant does not care and begins walk up to the other,
when the other does not realize it or even see the Tyrant coming,
there is a huge bang suddenly heard, the lights go out, and their is scuffling,
5 minutes later, the lights go back on,
The tyrant is laying there lying on their back,
without anything,
when the other suddenly gets up wondering what happened,
and the martyr gets around the counter to the table wondering the same,
while that happens,
the martyr and the other say together in whispers “Is dead? Call the ambulance.”
Then, the other says more loudly “Call the Ambulance!” to the martyr.
the martyr calls the ambulance.
the ambulance comes with the police together,
when the police says to the martyr “So, what happened?”
As the tyrant is taken by ambulance to the hospital,
the police and martyr are talking in the cafe casually
smiling back and forth from each other,
when the other is looking back at the cafe
from a half a block away
while the ambulance is loudly driving away sirens on and off and on
to the hospital for help from the doctors…