Tag Archives: being who you are

A Poem Called “Institution and De-Institution of Life”

Institution and De-Institution of Life,

by theamazinJ

My knowledge is useful,
my life is pure,
my feelings are genuine,
‘normal’ is my misery,
my own normal is a companion,
my trope is believable,
I am a Human being,
I am sanctioned,
i am golden,
I am not your inspiration,
I lead by my own life,
by the way I am,
by the way I am,
even after surgeries,
even after medicines,
even after accommodations
for accessibility in this world,
I am blind,
I am sightworthy,
I feel difficult
in a marginalizing life,
I am refutable,
I am open,
to all open things and bodies,
I close at the open,
I open at the close,
I am a vibrant movable body
moving up and down
through the door,
through my seclusion,
through living through isolation,
though it doesn’t have to be that way,
It does not have to be isolating,
it does not have to be that mind-set,
It’s something I have to furiously open
on my own with or without leaving doors closed,
without or with closing on me,
with or without closing on you,
Life is like that!
so, it is time for a bunch of tears,
so, it is time for a craving of me,
and time to show that
regardless what or who the person is,
it’s about what humanity really is,
and it’s about being the ideals of what we are,
because in the end,
we have to accommodate others and be accommodated for who we are,
and finally,
if we don’t do that
we are nothing and wind up with nothing,
so it’s all about what we want,
and it’s all about who we are,
to generate everything
in the institution of life
and the de-institution of what we want society to be for life
as a whole,
do we work on being who we are?
or, do we have to work on what society wants instead?
and, do we work on what we believe?
or, do we work on how to work with other people’s beliefs instead?
so it’s all that we have
and all that we need to work on
to live the life we get
and the life we hope for.

A Poem Called “A Serene Beautiful Path”

A Serene Beautiful Path,

(A poem inspired by many readings I have read all throughout my life. I started writing this poem when I read Merri Johnson’s Girl in need of a Tourniquet and Bram Stoker’s Dracula this semester at CUNY SPS.)

by theamazinJ

My humanity is there,
I set off to the goal,
I pain, I hurt, I erode
through sudden Goethe,
I deserve the ending,
I sacrifice the beginning,
I figure my mind.
I liberate my flamboyance,
I continue to the
connotation of trials,
of tribulations of
the non-binary world
which is really binary,
of everyone in motion,
love is darkness,
love is spiritual,
love flips houses
to go, to out, to live,
I sacrifice my mind,
I feel the inner monster,
I live the outer inner body
of humanity,
monstrous,
man,
woman,
person,
person?
Person!
I am a person,
being virtuous, being good,
being a good guy,
being a good gal,
being a good person,
being the body of dense creation,
my creator made me,
he made everyone,
I am not understood,
my good intentions of bad moods and emotions.
I love animals,
I love my love,
Is there really a normal?
What is normal?
Compulsions of normal,
acting on you,
disliking on me,
fairly with justice.
Deviating toward death,
WHAT IS DEATH?
WHAT IS LIFE?
Death, Violence, Deviant, or NOT,
disgust or whack,
Dracula,
Dracula,
Dracula,
Beetle BeetLe BEETLE
JUICE JUICE JUICE,
Everywhere I go,
Everywhere I look,
I see my future,
I find myself in the present,
I walk through the curtain,
I rise from my chest,
and I have a past in the background.
Everywhere I go,
Everywhere I see,
Everywhere I want to be,
It really is the light approaching from the darkness
in the distance,
and everywhere I go, everywhere I look,
AND EVERYWHERE I HIDE,
I SEE my dreams becoming REALITY,
I SEE my life BECOMING A THING!
I SEE that NOTHING WILL STOP ME!!!!
BECAUSE I am going to SUCCEED,
I AM GOING TO do what I WANT,
I AM GOING TO WORK ON MY OWN,
building my CAREER,
building my CREATIVITY,
BUDDING my LIFE into reality,
AND LIVE THE LIFE I WAS MEANT TO LIVE.
Forget about darkness,
forget about what you think,
forget about your thoughts,
BECAUSE the only thoughts that matter
are the thoughts IN MY HEAD,
and support ME from that.
It’s probably what Bram Stoker meant,
or even the Girl in need of Tourniquet needed,
or what Audre Lorde needed,
or even what Ron Kovic needed as Born on the Fourth of July,
It’s all about living until our last breath,
and it’s all about living and ENJOYING every minute of it
with EVERYONE supporting each other WITHOUT telling or saying anything,
because we all have our OPINIONS,
WE all have our SEPARATE BELIEFS,
AND WE ALL HAVE WHAT IT TAKES
to do what we WANT and NOT what OTHERS say.
Nothing about us, without US,
I say, I say.

Building Bridges when meeting people in groups

Meet up groups : Specific Functions

1) Meeting with likeminded individuals in the community, not in a congregate settings like a home or other segregated areas
2) Hanging out, socializing, getting to know people in the community going to events the organizers create
3) Sharing ideas
4) Not anticipating finding a sexual partner, (if the person is looking for this then they should not anticipate or expect this at all from happening), and just sharing each other’s moments even if it is playing a board game or any other type of activity
5) Think about building bridges with each other and not complaining or criticizing each other

Meeting in groups are supposed to be for fun social events for everyone to enjoy together because people came together for that purpose. Don’t let anyone take that fun away from you and don’t allow anyone into your head to take your experience you needed from that group. Some groups exist and are run by professionals like social workers, but not all are run by professionals. Every group is run for a purpose to bring people together. Those people who are impaired needing support to get them to the group tend to go to groups that are run by professionals while those people who are impaired with needing little support in getting them to the group, tend to go to groups run by peers.

No one can go to a group to anticipate meeting anyone even finding a partner or a friend. It is just about being with a group in the community. When anyone is in a congregate setting too long whether it is in their own home or other segregative setting, it is not good for anyone.

When getting people together, it is never about anticipation, it is all about not hesitating to be meeting people in the group you choose to be with. Meeting in groups is all about being with others who want to experience and explore together the same event or socializing experience at the exact time and at that exact moment of human experience. It does not matter whether the person is disabled or not, inclusion should be an option if the person desires to be in that group respectively as part of the community.

That is why I created my own group on the meet up website over a year ago called Neurodiverse Central Network. This is group is about hanging out with people regardless of disability and varying impairments with their allies if desired as well if they want to have them there. Members of this group respect each other regardless of disability or not, and by respecting each other, no one can make any one feel bad for what they feel or believe. The conversation is open to experiencing each other and communicating different ideas, respecting opinions as just that, opinions. That’s what nothing about us, without us, is all about.

A Poem Called “Society Meets the Activist”

Society Meets the Activist,

by theamazinJ

One day,
a long time ago,
in a far off place,
society met an Activist,
the first of their kind.
The Activist spoke out against everything society stood for,
I mean, everything, literally everything,
Talking about society’s social construction,
talking about society’s discrimination,
even talking about society’s lack of accommodation,
and when the shit hit the fan even more,
society’s idea of passing rather than being true to ourselves.
The Activist turns 20, then 30, then 40 and so on,
and every time the Activist says something,
they are bullied into silence,
they are told they are fake,
they are told to be quiet and let society just be,
they are told to not be loud and proud,
they are told to take a vacation or just leave society for good,
everywhere the Activist goes,
he wants to make a difference,
to show the society what Human dignity means,
what Human respect means,
and the ways everyone needs accommodating,
the way society can be accessible if they even try,
A long time ago before the first of the month,
society jumped in to vote for a sloth,
a man who would fight Activists,
a man who would say the work Activists have done was fake,
a man who created the term Fake News,
a man who marked war against the world,
a man who created fights between himself and every minority group
including the disability minority group,
especially those people who think and play and move and live differently than him,
a man who is a supremacist,
a man who hates Activists, but then calls himself an Activist for doing what he does,
Activists have gotten criticism for the work they do
and even from the very first Activist a long time ago
in a galaxy far far away,
because being an Activist is tough,
being an Activist is one of the hardest things anyone can do,
Activists make societies uncomfortable,
Activists make the leader of any society go crazy,
Activists speak out and then get hashed by society,
Activists ignore society’s words,
until the Activist actually passes on,
then everyone praises the Activist who spoke out,
and a day or memorial becomes real for the Activist who passed on
to one day everyone quoting them
even when everyone fought against the Activist while alive,
even when everyone took a stand that they would never do it,
however, the Activist took a stand, and now everyone listens,
and now, everyone sees what they said,
finally in the end,
The Activist looks down upon the society from the heavens above,
noticing this change, noticing this new embodiment,
and says to oneself with all smiles and chuckling:
“Now, they listen, really, now they really are listening
really, I am astonished, I am a star up here in the heavens,
shining down on them at night, and
when I could speak, no one wanted to listen to me,
thanks a lot to all thou, thanks to all thou”
As society takes on more and more giving and less trash talk
for what the Activist said, for every action the Activist conveyed,
and for every time the Activist fought them to be heard
exactly how they Activist wanted to heard,
So, continue what you are doing,
if you believe it,
someday it will happen.
Someday they will all listen,
even if it takes a lifetime.
Believe.
And Move forward.

A Poem Called “Mourning”

(Trigger Warning: the painful moments may trigger some.)

Mourning,

by theamazinJ

Violence,
hurt,
physical pain,
emotional pain,
murderous draining of blood,
seeping from our veins abstractly,
the pain persists with everyone,
it persists in the community,
it persists in segregated settings,
it persists with disabled people,
it persists with black people,
it persists with jewish people,
it persists with muslims,
it persists with women,
it persists with differences in gender and (a)sexuality,
it persists because of eugenics,
it persists cause of American society today
especially with Donald Trump,
especially with the dark past history of America,
especially with this construction from Francis Galton,
the pain hurts even deeper and darker than that,
from the deepest roots of human history,
many people are in pain,
many people are in mourning
the lack of empathy from the current social construction
of how many individuals in mainstream society don’t understand,
of how many don’t want to understand,
and how we cannot get it right,
we cannot listen to each other,
of how no one has true understanding
unless the person has experienced
or flipped to that side of the coin,
and that only happens when we allow ourselves to experience,
when we just experience it,
and we begin to heal,
heal through humor,
heal through communicating,
heal through love,
heal through laughing amongst each other,
in the community and not in congregate settings separated from the community,
because it’s all about us,
it is all about life,
it’s not about mourning,
it’s not supposed to be a dark life,
it’s supposed to be about seeing the light,
seeing the positive sides of life,
experiencing and loving who we are
so we can experience and love everyone around us,
without causing pain to us or anyone else
regardless of how much pain we already have,
it’s about letting go and moving forward,
It’s Nothing about us, without us,
it’s just about love,
can you go back in time,
to a place in your mind,
to the one you knew you that you just couldn’t find,
when it’s said and done it’s not about losing love,
it’s not about the pain,
it’s about gaining love from everyone we meet,
taking in everything, but not taking too much pain,
the mourning of this day,
heals us when we can laugh instead of cry,
when we can let go and celebrate lives lost,
when we can let go and celebrate our own life,
and when we can just let go and move forward,
Mourning is more about how we laugh until we had to cry
and say to each other,
I love you no matter what,
I love you for who you are or who you were,
people touch, and it lives in our lives forever,
so, let’s move forward
and let’s meet halfway,
made of memories,
believing in destiny,
every moment is about getting living every moment
in the way we stick to each other in the community
regardless of impairments, regardless of what labels society gives us,
and we are stronger when we have given up,
given up on our egos,
given up on our arrogance,
and lived for the humility of humanity,
remembering and always never forgetting,
disability is a major part of human life,
so don’t neglect yourself, don’t neglect others,
and begin to accept the diversity in everything,
the diversity of life, between where we are
where we identify, claiming neurodivergent and claiming disability and even claiming neurotypicality,
finally,
it does not matter what people claim,
it just matters to be happy,
and live knowing
normality is real, but normality is accepting life the way it is,
in the living years
say it loud, say it clear,
so don’t blame the ones before, presently, or after,
just laugh with perfect humor among each other,
no matter what, no matter who,
when nothing about us, without us
really does matter.