Tag Archives: Autistics

Accepting Changes in Our Life can be HARD, Let’s do it anyway!

I know that just because someone may be a very conservative or liberal or moderate, does not mean we can not have good communication with them. It really makes life more fun and interesting when we can talk to anyone regardless of how they are and differences they believe in. That’s part of neurodiversity. That’s acceptance and that’s a part of life. We need to accept everyone, everyone’s belief systems, everyone’s identities they have and what they choose for themselves, and accepting everyone’s self-determination of how they want to live their life.

It’s okay for someone to believe in the social model or the medical model, however, we can not tell a person how to live their life since that is not satisfying the requirements of being an individual. Individuality is important as we can not judge any one who decides on either model, on a particular identity, and/or a particular way they choose to live. We can not get angry, we can not get defensive, and we can not say we can not talk to any one who does not agree with us. We have to talk to people, because that is what neurodiversity is all about.

Neurodiversity activists and organizations are not really being very good activists as well as organizations like medical charity researchers and activists too who are also not being open with each other either. However, we all have to engage with each other without being stubborn, without being too hurtful, without being damned if we do or damned if we don’t, and carry on the wayward road moving forward. We need breakthrough with communication barriers that’s been going on for centuries even milleniums.

It does not matter if we disagree or agree. It does not matter if we agree or disagree with our President, agree or disagree with different philosophies or not, and even agree or disagree with the government we belong to or not. We have a government because that is what Americans (and humanity wanted all along) wanted back in 1700’s, so we need to accept that and move on as I hear how so many people seem distracted from their own belief systems and opinions. Our government is not perfect, but no one, thing, or situation is perfect either.

We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people in our community which means we can not escape the interactions with people or situations every moment of every day. We can only thrive at using our communications as going with the flow without trying to be perfect. It overwhelms us to pretend perfectionism exists, but the more we stop trying the more we become perfect. Though, as I said perfectionism does not exist, it exists once we forget that it does exist. Remember nothing is impossible, we all are possible all the time.

While let alone, we can not escape stigmas, stereotypes, and the way other people think too as I talk to someone in the community about this who feels the same way. Sarcasm is hard for many to deal with especially myself who is Autistic, however, sarcasm is something that is supposed to be humor, sometimes dark, sometimes light, but sarcasm indeed. It’s okay not to get or be attuned with sarcasm right away because not everyone understands it. Although sarcasm is just a way of life for some people and part of neurodiversity too.

Neurodiversity is also partly that some people are developmentally delayed in various different ways. Some people don’t go through the different stages of adolescence at the same time as everyone else is supposed to from the way mainstream culture says so. However, we need to realize that everyone is different, everyone is able, and everyone can do whatever it takes to live their life constructively. By living constructively, no one can feel pitied, put down, hurt, stigmatized, stereotyped, and/or feel pain from others.

Neurodiversity can flourish by not allowing ourselves to do this to other people and be open to other people’s perspectives. No one can do things on their own because everyone needs a group to do it together. No organization is perfect either that helps Disabled people in the whole broader disability community including in Autistic culture to help Autistic people. However, we all need to learn together and encourage each other to love every one of our good points so we can cancel out the negatives of everyone we meet. This is how neurodiversity can flourish. So, accept changes and be the community of sharing and caring. Be a good role model for others and others will do good for you.


Please like and share Autistic Community for Equality Facebook page as this is an initiative that can further grow acceptance, forgiveness, and being less judgmental among each other in the world. The initiative is in it’s infant stage, but we can thrive a lot more as it becomes a bigger part of humanity and the rest of the world. Animals help us thrive too, and we need to realize that we can’t define any one as a friend or an enemy as the people that we are, are constantly learning and building our own way of life. We can not hate, we can only love the incredible people in our communities.

Please check out this website too, AASPIRE (Academic Autistic Spectrum Partnership In Research and Education) which medical charity organizations can learn from as they continue move forward too.

Thank you and please understand the things we all need to do to be an community sharing, loving, and caring for one another. So, reach out and talk to any one you want to talk to. Don’t worry about disagreeing, don’t be stubborn, and think about how we can all be strong together as part of the Animal Kingdom subset called being Human. Everyone needs to open the door toward our successful communications with each other, besides communications is key.

Listen to this song Des’ree “You Gotta Be”:

“You Gotta Be” by Des’ree

Listen as your day unfolds, challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears, stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry

You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Herald what your mother said
Reading the books your father read
Try to solve the puzzles in your own sweet time
Some may have more cash than you
Others take a different view, my oh my, heh, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

Don’t ask no questions, it goes on without you
Leaving you behind if you can’t stand the pace
The world keeps on spinning
You can’t stop it, if you try to
This time it’s danger staring you in the face

Remember, listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears, my oh my heh, hey, hey

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard, you gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm, you gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day


What Being a Self-Advocate means, and it’s Not Being Objectified

Inspiration Porn is when society objectifies Disabled people in the community like Autistic people have been objectified for the past 10 years especially by organizations like Autism Speaks. Inspiration porn is creating stigma by objectification because society thinks disability is shameful, that it is destructive, that is a tragedy, a burden, and a negative thing that should not exist. However, society is wrong!

Please watch Stella Young’s amazing video from last year. Every time I have seen this video since it first came out, to educate others has explained specifically why objectifying anyone is not good and not healthy for anyone in the human race.

Disability does exist, Disability will exist, Disability has existed since the dawn of time. Why? Because Disability is a part of the human experience and no one, I mean no one can take that away from anyone in this world especially when d/Disability is what makes us human. In addition, let’s get this straight, NO ONE is an inspiration to us all, because we all have to be motivated and work hard for ourselves by supporting and guiding each other.

Everyone has their own struggles in life, and that’s okay. Why? Because it’s part of our humanity to struggle to get to the peak where we will eventually ‘cross over and rise above’. However, we all have to get through our struggles until we have done our duties or missions completed.

If you try to find inspiration to inspire you to do something or be a someone, then you won’t be doing anything except looking around your whole life finding nothing. So, please do something with your life and stop looking for inspiration from others especially the disability community. Why? Because we are human too. We have our own struggles too, to get where we want to be at, and by any one trying to find inspiration from the outside world like from the disability community to make us look bad and everyone else look good is the real tragedy.  That’s why inspiration is travesty and the word should not exist since it causes pain.

Struggling is a part of life. We need to have fun with our life. That’s right, we all need to have fun. Everyone’s fun is different. Some people try different things before they find it like with me. Some people like myself are Disabled activists and scholars, some people are media analysts, some are investment bankers, some are artists, some are writers/journalists, some are politicians to help the government to create/enforce laws, some are lawyers, some are social workers (or help with mental health maintenance), mail clerks and drivers, landscape workers, sanitation workers, janitors, some are medical doctors, some are engineers, some are teachers, some are construction workers, etc. We all do whatever it takes to become the success we want to see in our life with the support network in the community or life we build for ourselves.Without the support network and without the motivation in ourselves to do well, we become lost in our efforts. However, it does not always have to be that way.

We all have struggles all our life. We all can stay in the disability community our whole life or walk in and out of the disability community at different parts of our life. I just don’t want any one to ever think disability is a tragedy because it really isn’t. Acquiring d/Disability from birth or from life, is a part of life’s journey. We all can become disabled at some point or become more disabled, and that’s okay. It’s okay if we have to use a wheelchair or any other assistive device or machine to help us live our life if you need it or if we want to feel more mainstream or not. It’s our personal choice!

It’s okay if you are feeling very obstinate or unsure of how disability helps us with gaining empathy we all struggle with. Empathy is a learned human trait for everyone in the world. Some are born with more empathy than others, but no one lacks empathy since we all have emotions that frustrate us at times.  Sometimes we may not realize that our empathy can be misleading sometimes when we struggle with discriminations and stigmas in our life which is ableism. Ableism is a problem for the world. There are millions of people in the world struggling with ableism right now. Some people may not even be aware of it, but  it is inside of them already especially when the person has been objectified in their life at some point or their whole life. I feel for those people who are struggling more from their ableism because society doesn’t understand their language and dialect.

Ableism is about objectifying people while this needs to stop. It is also a struggle when everyone who has been hurt by ableism and internalizes this stigma, the stereotypes, and even can become the oppressor after being oppressed since ableism is also like a virus. Ableism is not only a curse, but it’s the biggest oppression that confuses people into thinking they are not worthy and unable to do something unless they become an inspiration to become objectified by others.

Objectification or ‘Inspiration Porn’ exemplifies and manifests a person’s persona to make them something they are not. There are so many people who objectify others that it becomes really pathetic in our society, but it does not always have to be that way. Change means allowing yourself to guide others into their own self-determination to live their life with just encouraging people to do what they love to do just the way you do for yourself. No one is a random act of good because we all are good people who can do whatever we want to do to help others.

We just have to think about our own mission to help, how we can guide and support others, and know how to advocate for change in our society to think about why we can’t hurt others in any way. Life is a journey with emotions that does not mean we can say or do things to others to hurt them since that is not only ableism, but is also other forms of pain too, inflicted on others. People can be hurtful which is also a part of life, however, we need to know that what we do and say affects other people either instantly or over time. Over time, we all internalize the pain unless we start healing the pain(s).

So, let’s start healing the pains we all may have to become the person we all are meant to be with the guidance from the support network we are born into and choose from the billions of people in the world to be a part of it too. This is how ableism can heal from the pains we have all felt at some point, some a lot more than others especially those people struggling to ‘pass’ for society’s norm or standard of how to speak, think, feel, see, or hear.

Everyone has their own thoughts and opinions which means we all have the freedom to speak our mind respectfully and respecting others. No one can curse at, hurt, silence, or tell others that what they believe for themselves to contribute is bad. It’s not black and white ever (like  organizations like Autism Speaks suggests about autism), it’s all gray, and it always has been gray. There is good and bad in everything from the yin and the yang as long as we know what is good and what is bad, we can focus on the positive aspects of our life. Thus, focusing on the positive aspects of other people. Finally, becoming a contributing member of society from our own individual self-determination which is different for everyone in the world.

Some need more guidance, some need more support, though we all need mentorship to get through our life as we all fulfill our goals we want to achieve. That’s not inspiration, that’s just doing what it takes to be a success in what all of us want individually. Part of what having support is, is motivating our family members and peers who come in contact with to move forward with what we want.

Struggling to achieve something can be difficult, but not impossible. Impossible does not exist. The very word means ‘I’m Possible’ and we can’t let anyone take that dignity away from us. We know who we are and what we want regardless of what are identities are by identifying how we want to for ourselves. As an Autistic person and a part of the broader disability community, I have understood that disabilities helps us live our life better by embracing our own humanity.

No one can tell us who, what, and how we are to live our life. We are gift in this world. If we unwrap the gift with taking in negativity from the outside world, we become negative. Otherwise if we unwrap ourselves with positive feelings on how to help the world, we become the most positive force the world has ever seen embracing and celebrating life in of itself.

I struggle, you struggle, we all struggle with something we need. Some of us struggle more than others, but that just means they need more guidance and support. Since we all live our life with struggles, it just means, that once we need to figure out how to use our skills, our talents, and our strengths to do what we feel will help the world is when we can we feel our own humanity. Sometimes this is very small, sometimes very big, and/or sometimes it can just be teaching ourselves to become  a contributing member of society who positively affects everyone. We all are here to motivate each other to do well, not be jealous of any one.

We live our life positively, but most importantly, we live our life to do whatever we can to reach out and touch our spirit. If you can’t find yourself, if you don’t know what it is that you need to do, and you want other people to feel inspired by you saying your life is better than theirs (or vice versa), than you are wasting your life.

Please don’t waste your life trying to find this thing called inspiration especially from my fellow Autistic peers and any one else from the disability community. By calling us inspirations, you are also saying that your life has always been better than ours. The medical model suggests that the only way we become inspirations is by overcoming a burden or tragedy within ourselves to become an inspiration for others. However, this is a travesty and a false belief system that we don’t need to hear or see.

Inspiration is taking what others say as face value without thinking of yours or their own life because of the way the mainstream media and the masses objectify so many people including people in the disability community. The use of the phrase ‘Inspiration porn’ is to say that objectifying anyone the media wants to ‘use’, ‘stigmatize’, painfully stereotype, and dispose of later after the mainstream media has had enough of the person is hurtful. The media as a whole needs to change their way of thinking, how they think about humanity, and stop personalizing one’s own life of struggle as a tragedy that a person’s overcame to become a human being. We all our human beings from birth. Humanity means struggling to live our whole life through emotions we all have while finding our authentic voice and self to fulfill our greatest mission to do what we love to do. That’s what I’ve always known and was taught.

Do you want to try to find inspiration or do you want to do what it takes to live your life they way you always wanted it to help others? Humanity is about helping ourselves while helping others.

We need our own tenacity to work hard toward living our life, building our experience in life the way we want  to without anyone else trying to live it for us or will live it for us or even mimic other people’s lives.  I’ll tell you this that by trying to imitate other people’s lives, people won’t be their true authentic self. That’s why if we become obsessed with inspiration, we no longer know how to live our life. Please don’t do that! I want all of you to live your life and work hard for who you all are in this world.

There are billions of people in the world. From the billions of people in the world, that’s one big support network to help each other work independently for our own self-determination which means striving for whatever positive contributing factors we want to live our life.  We can all be supportive while guiding ourselves in our life through thick and thin. If someone is struggling, they need to think about getting back on track while if someone is struggling a lot they need you to lead them more with guidance.

Getting back on track is not inspiration, it’s just life. We all fall back into situations where we need to get back on our feet, however, that does not mean we look for someone else for inspiration, it just means we have to push ourselves to live do whatever it takes to get back on our feet with whoever is supporting and guiding us. Remember, there is always someone who can guide you, any one just has to ask, as a self-advocate.

Life is not about inspiration, it’s about self-advocacy and helping others achieve that self-advocacy!

Thank you all!

Be that change,

and heal the world!


FOCUS On The Present & How to Focus on Your Life

The 8 ways to Focus on the Present and How to Focus on your Life:::

1) How do you relate to people

2) How do you function in the world

3) How do you do your work

4) How do you interact and react to other people

5) Nothing about us, without us!!!

6) How I look physically

7) How Hygiene helps

8) How to focus on safety and security

These 8 practices are for everyone to remember and practice. Please always remind yourself of this and help others to know this too if they are struggling!

Find the connections you need to live your life the way YOU want to!!!


Let’s Give Everyone Their Chance For their Own Success!

Being Disabled is not the same as being able. It’s hard dealing with people who just don’t understand us as being a part of the Disability community. I have met many people who look at me like I am an Able-bodied person, but don’t realize the many things that disable me from the rest of society. Being Autistic has it’s many gifts for me, but I still am disabled by society’s standards. I am very capable of doing the many things like everyone else, but much of society does not understand how to accommodate me. For example, there are different ways I get overloaded and overstimulated that I get very frustrated with and angry because the way society acts. If many people realized it, they could change their perception of how to act.

Everyone is capable of doing whatever they know they can do, but for some reason their is a disconnect between Able-bodied people and the Disabled. Whether the person is on the Autistic spectrum, has Cerebral Palsy, has Down’s Syndrome, is physically handicapped, has a mental health condition, has a rare illness that disables them from society, blind, deaf, etc. People need to remember whether the person is visibly disabled or invisibly disabled, everyone has right to their personal accommodation from the rest of society to do what they love to do.

There is no reason why a Disabled person should be left in the dark by themselves to be pitied or placed in Residential Treatment Placement Centers or Treated differently among the Healthcare system because the rest of society does not understand us. These are unacceptable ways to treat anyone, so why is society always thinking of using pity and torture in healthcare for people with disabilities. It really is very unfair and unconscionable for any Human being to be treated in such a fashion. For instance, just because someone is Autistic does not mean they need constant supervision, but it does not mean we don’t need supervision at all like everyone else. Society does not understand Disability culture, in addition to not being very concrete with Autistics.

Society is too overwhelming for us as a result, where we become very angry, confused, and frustrated because of it. Much of society still thinks that organizations like Autism Speaks will have all the answers and the mainstream media thinks they have the answers too. Instead of seeking answers from anyone, seek answers from those people who are struggling with society; the people with disabilities themselves! There are some Disabled people who may seem Neurotypical, but really are very much disabled themselves. You can’t walk in other shoes until you have experienced what a Disabled person experiences every day from our unique way of being in this so-called Able-bodied/Neurotypical world. Many people just don’t understand and think that they can talk down at us, that we need constant supervision, and that we need constant attention. However, disability is a part of humanity!!!

No one can discover their own self-determination and taking responsibility if the society’s communities does not understand everyone. Self-determination is very important and being included in conversations with the rest of society who talks about us is even more important. Society is overlooking the many factors of what it means for any one to be successful. Success does not mean making a lot of money. Success just means working hard to learning to build our own necessities to live our life and having our own self-worth to just be who we are. In the every end to self-determination, anyone reaps their rewards, with money, but not before the end.

I have found that there are too many professionals and many other people working to help people with disabilities who just don’t understand how to physically and mentally be there for any of us. As being a part of the subcategory, in the Autistic community, which is very broad and diverse of people in the world, many people seem to not understand us at all even a lot of professionals. This is very sad!!! Though, many people are learning lately, there is still much more learning, accepting us, and understanding about autism and disability that everyone needs to know in order to create a better society.

As we are in the middle of March, we are almost beginning Autism Acceptance Month in April, which means we are 3 and a half months until Autistic Pride Day in June. I thank many people who are beginning to learn or are learning, but I think society still has a long road of learning and understanding until they can begin accepting. Much of society is still not very concrete, not very understanding, and certainly not very accepting of Human diversity of what people can do for themselves where any one can take ownership of who they are, building their life.

There are many people in society who just don’t think that Disabled people can be included, have their own voice, and strive for their own success. Some people, but not all, who do take on people with disabilities including Autistic people, use some people in the disability community as a Token, because they want us to spread their word of pity in order to be called an inspiration to us all. This is not right and not fair! However, much of society needs to learn that everyone can be successful in what they know they want to do, can have a supportive network of people like anyone else to live life, and be independent when we need to be.

Stay true to yourself and always remember that no matter what we all our living as Human beings in the vast Human spectrum!!


A Way Forward For Society to Think Outside the Box

Change is not only hard for many Autistic people, but Non-Autistic people have problems with Change as well. I’ve noticed this a lot lately probably because I am making myself more aware of this. A lot of the World’s people have problems accepting change leading into destructive violent behaviors, however there is a way to rectify the situation; accept changes people present everyday, accept yourself, and think outside the box. Positive changes happen every day, sometimes multiple times a day, so we need to know change is good. Whether you are Disabled or Non-Disabled, everyone is human which means we all need to accept changes every day and live our life fulfilling career paths. Many times people follow the wrong path where they follow along someone else’s instead. People need to accept who they are and change to lead their own life without thinking about how much money they will make. Money is a material reward that is given after hard work was completed. Everyone matters and everyone deserves to work hard for their reward.

To be a Self-Advocacy Leader of any group, people have to remember that there are different roles of leadership in the world. Everyone leads and follows at the same time whether they realize it or not. However, leadership takes ownership in the person’s life empowering them to take on their struggles head on and use their struggles as a platform to build their life. For example, someone who is non-verbal and not able to express their words through their physical voice, needs to express their desire to communicate by using assistive and augmentative communication devices that will help them use their voice. They are still leaders! Many Non-Autistic people believe that many people who can’t communicate through their physical voice have no rights and can’t stand up for themselves. Thus, this is where the problem arises because a lot of people have a problem thinking outside the box.

Thinking outside the box is a continuing issue for most people in the world because most people look at standards of what they want in society without deviating from the standards. This is a problem! This is why organizations like Autism Speaks are hopeless places for people to turn to. However, it’s also an easier place for people to turn to because the media promotes them. The media does not realize that this organization is not helpful because the media can not deviate from the way society sets these standards, for example, with physical voice and eye contact.

There are many ways a person communicates. For example, imagine everyone you met in the world were deaf or blind, then we would all be either using sign language to each other or braille. Think about this and even other examples! Then, if there were a minority of people talking and seeing well in society, everyone probably would consider people speaking and seeing, lost, dead, souls throwing them in institutions to make them society’s normal. Now let’s go back to reality! In reality, the majority of people use eye contact, talk with their mouths, can see, walk, and hear well. The rest of us are the minority who can not make eye contact or talk with our mouths or can’t see or can’t walk or can’t hear well. The more Non-Disabled people realize that disability is a part of the human experience, the more they will realize that leadership is a part of being human too, the more everyone will have fulfilling lives in an inclusive society without struggling through pain and having outbursts. However, many people in the world do not see the full picture and can not think outside the box.

When someone has a creative mind, they can think outside the box and by thinking outside the box, the person knows they will make mistakes and grow more. The world wants to be perfect, but perfection does not exist. Perfection is just a bad assumption to make. I noticed that many of society’s standards are not very realistic because of the ‘perfect’ factor. People want to be perfect, so they forget about humanity. Being human is not being perfect, being human is just a way of providing ourselves with being more of a creative thinker. There are different ways of being creative too. Everyone has their own mind where they experience the world differently from their peers and family. Organizations like Autism Speaks needs to realize this too!

At my current job leading groups for an agency in New York City, I love my job and I love helping others in the Disability community who have similar or different disabilities than myself. It’s been a great experience so far and it only will get even better. I lead groups two days a week as a pilot program that can lead into a great endeavor of personal experience to help for outreach. I create presentations each week and meet with the people who go to the day hab centers and live in the residences the agency provides for them. This experience I have will lead more to an empowering movement in the whole disability community for everyone including myself. Let’s get started on thinking outside the box about Disability!