Tag Archives: autistic

My Speech from the Day of Mourning Vigil in New City, NY 2014

(State Senator David Carlucci was at the Vigil too and I made a great new connection with him. He is interested in working with Community Alliance For Ethical Treatment of Youth (CAFETY) that I am a Board member of. Video and pictures to come soon…Thank you to so many people who helped me including Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, my committee for the Vigil, the NYC Vigil Committee, my Parents, Skyler the Maltese Dog, and to the State Senator David Carlucci for attending and all those others for helping out or supporting me.)

The Autistic Self-Advocacy Network’s Day of Mourning 2014

Today we stand around on the First day of March to gather in a circle and remember those people with disabilities who were abused and killed without even fulfilling their life’s purpose and mission. There were many people who died unnecessarily and without cause. A lot of the names you will see on this Poster, but many names go unnoticed. The Caregivers and Parents who murdered their loved ones were sympathized instead of the people who died who should have been mourned. Justice needs to be served when any life is taken for granted and taken away without cause. Every one has a purpose, every one has a right to live their life the way they know they can be a productive members of society, and be encouraged to do so.

We stand here today as one Human race as we remember at this vigil the lives of those people who could’ve had a good remarkable life, who could’ve gained, and achieved positive things in their life. Achievements that many of us take for granted and knowledge we learn or learned that these people could have had too. It’s unfortunate that the society we live in does not appreciate and respect everyone who lives here. Society needs to change and society needs to realize everyone matters and everyone has a chance to take responsibility for their own lives.

We live, we survive, we have self-determination, we have resilience, we have power, we have strength, we are the ones who will survive even when it’s our final time in this society to make our mark. Our mark is to ensure every Human being lives to their fullest advantage with extraordinary capabilities and intelligence the way we were intended to be built. Every one can use their minds to do anything they want to, it’s just important to remember that we are to use our mind to be creative or invent a fulfilling enjoyment for the world to enjoy. Life is beautiful if you make it beautiful, but life is given to us to help support each other embracing the relationships we already have or will have in the future. In retrospect, we are a community, a very broad and diverse community of Humanity where we built a society to live in. That society we live in is guaranteed to help us be included, be rewarded, and be respected no matter what.

What more can I say? We need to support each other, but most importantly we need to embrace the very fact of our humanity and let us say: Give a Supportive Inclusive Environment a chance and be respectful, courteous, and loving to all those around you. Think twice before you say something or do something hurtful, and enjoy the remarkable world we live in. There are so many people who have so much to offer, so give life a chance and let everyone live their life the way they know how to live it.

Love can go two ways, sometimes it’s one way, but we need to make it a two way street. Love means something when we journey through life accepting people’s missions, people’s gender, people’s disabilities, people’s personalities, people’s sexualities, people’s races, and people’s vision for the world. Everyone lives and everyone has a chance to feel anointed to their respectful wishes on how they want to live their life, experience the world, rectify their past, and live their personal destiny. Not everyone believes in spirituality and not everyone does not believe in spirituality either. That is the beauty of the way we all live in this world. Everyone craves the talented world we live in, to live the dream we always wanted. Now is the time to live the dream we always wanted. Now is the time for people with disabilities to feel accepted to their guided light of the day, and build up a life too. No body should feel hurt, no body should be killed, and no body should feel their life does not matter because we all matter.

As I conclude my opening remarks to this important Vigil, we embark on a new era of guiding people, all people, toward the light, toward sky, toward the vision of clouds in the sky, to move forward and smile at the everybody around you. Thank you everyone for coming to this important part of history in the making for a journey toward hope, toward love, and toward a mission well served. Now I introduce you to our State Senator David Carlucci to say a few words about this Vigil. Thank you…


OUT, J

Neurodiversity: Sexuality and Identifying Oneself

Disclaimer: A discussion post on sex and sexuality

It’s important to identify ourselves. By identifying ourselves the way we know best, there are many ways we can identify ourselves in this world. Some of these different ways we identify ourselves are similar to other people, but in many ways for so many people it’s a completely different way these days. For example, many people identify themselves as male or female, however these are not the only gender roles someone can identify themselves with. Facebook recently added many of the gender roles to their list other than male or female. There are also many different ways many people want to connect to another Human being as well. It’s not just boyfriend and girlfriend. Dating and Relationships is a powerful example of connecting with someone else, but not everyone wants a sexual relationship. However, being sexual is a big part of Dating and Relationships.

Although, I do know most people in this world do want a sexual relationship because sex is important to many people. The beginnings of connecting sexually is touching another Human being in ways that is more than just talking. It’s holding a person, caressing a person, and creating a sense of deep pressure that fills up the souls of the Human beings connecting sexually. I have met many people where sex was not an important factor in their life, but they accept people who do find it important. So, why can’t society accept these people who don’t want sex?

Sex is important because it stimulates the brain for many people around creating a better positive experience for life for so many who feel lonely. This positive experience in life helps many people discover more creative, intellectual, and inventive new ideas. However, I am not saying without sex, people can’t be creative, intellectual, or inventive, I am just saying it allows the mind to be relaxed more to think of these expressions. Sex is not for everyone and there are many people who say they don’t need sex to live their life, but sex is still an expression for a lot of people including flirting.

Sex is a three letter word which the media has expressed in many ways showing many different ways sex can be done. It’s important to find the right partner for your needs if you desire those needs. I stress though that sex is done between 2 consenting adults who have the same desires and the same agenda for connecting with each other. If these circumstances are not met, sex should not be performed, if it is not met, then one or both parties violated each other’s feelings and bodies.

Many people enjoy having sex each and every day of the year. Although two Adults connecting in a consenting, sexual way, need to do so in the privacy of one of their homes or if they are married in their home. A part from sex, is kissing. For most, touching is part of the process of deep connection by gazing at each other and feeling each other’s skin.

Many people identify themselves differently and everyone has a different person they want to connect with sexually and desire to finding a partner to live their life with. Although, finding a partner to live your life with is not always absolute. Many times people find a partner, then decide to break up, finding a different partner. My advice to those people trying to find the love of their life, don’t be too picky, choose based on your instincts, decide what you want, and don’t be influenced from others. Finding a partner can be tricky for most, including myself, but it’s important to know what you want.

Finding a sexual partner can be hard for so many people because many people are lonely. It’s important to representing yourself correctly as well as being accepted from society with that representation. Society and the media don’t acknowledge all roles and ways to identify oneself. For example, the media and Autism Speaks, create a sense of fear for autism, where the Autistic person usually feels pitied because they are not accepted. Hence, society separates the part of them that is autistic from the rest of them that makes them a person. There are many ways every one identifies themselves with, and being Autistic is just one of the ways for many people these days as people accept themselves. Let’s Love, not Fear!!! Everyone can live and identify themselves with everything they know they are.

For example, will I find a woman for myself? Well, that’s all up to whether or not I find an emotional attachment in a woman that I feel connected to and feel like I want to do that. Though, it’s never been a major priority for myself and isn’t right now. I just have friends I like to talk to and finding a connection that does not matter who they are. Though, someday I will be with a woman I want to be with!

OUT, J

Exploring What Makes All of Us Human

TRIGGER Warning: A foul word was used in this post.

Visualizing who we are and what we can do to make a difference is important. It does not mean wearing my own shoes or being someone else, it just means exploring yourself, but it’s also important for everyone to understand each other’s feelings. Empathy is a Human trait that everyone is born with, some more than others. My Autistic peers (who’ve I met or haven’t met) and I are stigmatized to the thinking we don’t have empathy. However, this is rhetorical myth that obviously needs to be erased from history. Researchers have their own agenda too about their feelings about Autistics.

Here is a good recent article by Lydia Brown entitled “Why the term Psychopath is racist and ableist” who discusses about how empathy makes us human. A few years back I read the book, “The Sociopath next door” and I saw on the cover that nearly 1 in out of every 20 people you interact with are sociopathic. However, it is entirely random to know who will be a sociopath and who will not be one. There is no stigma from any background of a person, and any Human being that you interact with can be sociopathic or a psychopath.

Being Human means we all feel for each other as a random act of kindness, but we feel for each other in different ways. Sometimes we feel for each other with a hug, sometimes we kiss, sometimes we pound knuckles, sometimes we shake hands, sometimes we flap, sometimes we rock, sometimes we spin, sometimes we look at each other, sometimes we even just smile, and sometimes we just know by reading each other. There are many other ways to feel for each other and sorry that I missed some. It’s important to know the ways people feel for each other and everyone has to realize this sooner or later. However, there are ways a person does disconnect from others when any one becomes intensely angry using foul language which leads to abuse of power, using weapons, or becoming physically violent toward others. However, sometimes foul language is used as means to be happy with each other like when there are adults who like to make love with their partner or use the language to establish a celebratory experience. I was always told there are two ways a person can get fucked with pleasure or when someone really manipulates to hurt you.

It’s important to remember who you are and what makes you Human. Explore your humanity! We all need to be excited and happy to be alive always remembering the tools given to us from our birth that help us to be who we are. These tools help guide us toward our goals in life in order for all of us to contribute to society. Explore your likes, your dislikes, you passions, your dreams, and find the way you want to contribute too. Not everyone likes everything, but we all need to understand the diversity of Humanity. A lot of times many people do not intentionally stigmatize and stereotype groups of people, but please do not do that. It’s important to realize everyone needs to explore what makes them unique.

Creating the goals we want to achieve allows us to establish our humanity for the future of our powerful legacy. Avonte Oquendo’s powerful legacy was to show us the importance of why Autistics like myself matter too because Autistics bring everyone together as one!!!


Have a great week!

Sometime in February be on the look out for the start of the 5th Annual Autistic Artistic Carnival promotional sign I will be creating soon for Autistic Pride Day, June 18!!!! It’s going to be AWESOME again this year and in many ways even more AWESOME!!!!

OUT, J

What Disability has meant to me through childhood to being an Adult now

Today, I am generally recognized as Autistic, I have fought my whole life for this, starting as a disabled child when no one knew what my disability was. In the 1980’s especially where I live, people were completely in the dark on what it meant to be Autistic or Disabled. It’s time for societies today to continue to talk about disability to be accepted as just another part of humanity. There are no special needs, we need, we just need the same basic things as our Neurotypical counterparts. (Specifics may vary) Those needs we all have, are growing pains in the Disability and Autistic communities because most Neurotypicals turn their attention toward standardizing or normalizing society which is why we need live our life our way to get through a single day.

Disability is a construct. Humanity is not perfect. Disability is truth about life. Disability gives us our humanity. From my childhood, there have been many people who did not understand what being Disabled means. Disability does not mean dependence and even does not mean failure, it just means growth: Growth where we live, growth in our minds, growth in our strength, and finally growth in a spirituality like anyone else would. From that growth, we will all succeed! It truly means that disability is a not a raging war against others and it’s not rage against humanity; it’s just part of humanity. We need to respect all of humanity.

The Disabled community has suffered oppression, seclusion, segregation, and confusion from Abled society. Autistic people in particular are told to quiet our hands, tone down our voices, schedule our days to what they want from us. They cover their ears instead of listening to us. For instance, there even was a recent news story about an Autistic youth being given vocal cord surgery! Society is confusing when they state that people are always listening to each other. For example, the Autism Speaks slogan is “It’s time to listen,” well, now it is really time to listen to Disabled and Autistic people around America and beyond since most people still do not. Many people have started to listen in the past few years, but everyone needs to listen to us, the Autistic and Disabled communities of what it’s like to be us! No one can tell another person who and what they are, everyone knows who and what they are already.

Live your life and everything will work out. Don’t feel like you need to hide anything about yourself. Disability is a guide for us to live our life.

(I know it’s a while since I posted last, but I have been going through a lot lately. I will be posting more often.)

OUT, J

Why can’t we all just get along!

Murder of an Autistic or Disabled person is a hate-crime just like any other hate-crime. It’s the same as any other murder of anyone else who is trying to live their life, but suddenly their life comes to an end by the actions of another. There needs to be fair justice in our society. Parents and/or Caregivers who murder their Disabled offspring should be held accountable for their actions. Just because someone has a disability like Autism does not mean life should be treated differently like we are less than human. For example, the recent murder of Alex Spourdakalis and the attempted murder of Issy Stapleton were both crimes. Murderers and attempted murderers should be brought to justice.

It makes me sad that there have been parents and caregivers that have killed their offspring. Parents and caregivers who murder their kids because they could not handle their child’s disability are mostly seen as the victims and often sympathized. However, if a person with a disability murders, the person with the disability who has murdered is seen as evil. This does not happen as much as parents and caregivers who murder their Disabled children and society does nothing about it. Why? Anyone who does that should be put to trial!

Acceptance takes time. Sometimes a person needs to review themselves and understand who they are before they can accept who they are. Not everyone has a master plan to do the same thing like their peers, that is why everyone has a different perspective on what peeks their interest to help society. Every one needs to figure it out on their own without letting a parent, caregiver, teacher, peer, behaviorist, etc. get in their way. No one should feel unsafe in their lives. That is the reason why Autistic or Disabled people like myself feel the need to feel safe in the world just like Neurotypicals do.

The only fair reasoning for anyone to get in the way of another person’s thinking is if another Human being wants to murder or harm another person. For instance, no one can murder any Human being regardless if they have a disability or not. That is why we have Justice courts to send the murderers away from society. Everyone deserves to have a safe, positive living environment. Anyone needs to be able to live however they know, to be independent, while interacting with the rest of society safely. That is why Autistic and Disabled people may work with therapists because they want to be able to interact with society safely and be independent.

Murder is murder is murder like a pulse is a pulse is a pulse! If something has a pulse, you can’t just murder it. Everything with life has a purpose and has time to accept themselves so everything else around with a pulse has time to accept their family or peers. And yes, acceptance takes time, a lot of precious time to reflect and love who we are. It’s very important to not only accept ourselves, but also to accept others as they are. People like parents and caregivers of Autistic and Disabled people need to continue to live their lives interacting with others in a positive way just like my parents always do. I luckily have a good support network.

Don’t forget that everyone needs to love the person they are meant to be and never let anybody else bring them down! Society needs to understand one thing in life; being able to love and cherish the people who really care and appreciating those positive moments we all will give in the future or have given already!

OUT, J