Tag Archives: autism/aspie

Respecting and Recognizing Others is Important for Humanity

Identifying ourselves…

In order to identify ourselves, we have to remind ourselves what we do, where we came from, and who we are. The poll question on the side column of this website expresses just that. It has been asking you to figure out how you would want to identify yourself. Identity is important for our own Humanity and it is defined by diversity since we all identify ourselves differently. Identity is important!

Many able-bodied people try to define people with disabilities including Autistic people without the expressed consent from Disabled people themselves. This is unfair and does not express the meaning of someone’s life. Mostly, many people try to instill person first language on the disability community as well as pitying us to separate a part of who we are from our own humanity. Telling others how to identify themselves is not a right of any one to do to the disability community nor to any body else. It does not allow any one to identify themselves properly. Instead, it expresses the interest of eugenics to society like the Nazi’s did to many cultures in the 1930’s and early 1940’s.

Society is beginning to change, but we need more progress, a lot more progress. Society encourages eugenics as a means to decrease diversity. People don’t need this to be encouraged, but the mainstream media, corporations, and organizations like Autism Speaks does this all the time which influences the government who controls society. When are the majority of people going to understand that we have many different ways of identifying each other and that each label is a part of who we are? No one has a right to tell a person that they can not identify themselves in such a manner. Most people believe in the Medical Model of Disability which expresses to so many people that society needs to use person first language. However, to be able to truly identify yourself, you should be able to first accept everything about yourself including anything disability related.

No one should feel that their disability is seen as less than Human, after all we have many markers in our genetic make up which defines us as well as the fact that disability is a part of the human experience. There are many disabilities and mental health conditions that disable Humanity at any point in time, autism being one of many disabilities. It’s important to accept your own Humanity about what you can do and what you struggle doing on an everyday basis.

We identify not only ourselves, we also identify other people, animals, material things, and the environment we live in. We acquire different things in our life, but most importantly we always acquire different disabilities throughout our life. So, why does many people become ashamed of what makes them Human? Society has trouble comprehending and accepting every culture or religion that instills itself inside the world. We have different cultures and religions because everyone lives a certain way that creates their own unique way of life. No one has a right to tell any one that their own unique way of living and identifying themselves is wrong. People live in so many ways! In fact, if you watch the movie “Nell” with Jodie Foster and Liam Neeson from the late 1990’s, you’ll see an excellent portrayal of the fight to live your life the way you know how to and to be able to identify yourself.

The problem with society is that their is too much discourse and in a lot of times, violence, because the majority of people argue over what culture is better, who should be leading, and the amount of money people have trustfully earned for themselves to create a better society. Because of the discourse, people begin hurting each other or themselves. Accepting yourself and other people will create a better society where we begin living peacefully. By allowing everyone to live their life, we begin to embark on our quest to fulfill our missions without trying to take from others, without identifying other people with a different marker to identify themselves with, and/or without trying to hurt others including the youth who are the next generation. We need to start delivering a message that Humanity is a precious commodity and that we are all here for a reason. The children of today are our next generation for tomorrow, so we need to teach children that Humanity respects, accepts, does not hurt each other, and earn a living trustfully. No matter what, if we do it right, the children of today will create a better society where no one hurts, no one crosses another’s boundaries without permission, and everyone respects any one, otherwise society will not tolerate it!

Every culture is different which is why we have a whole world to live it in. No one can decide in the world to create a society in which diversity lacks. However, we have billions of people in this world who have a mission to live their life the way they know how to, and no one can make any one in this world feel like they are any less Human.

OUT, J

Learning to Communicate Effectively is Important!

ThAutcast asked this question to me on a private group and thought this was a good way of answering it over here on DMC! Thank you Landon Bryce!!!

learning how to communicate effectively is difficult for most autistic people. Please tell how you learned one important lesson about communication. Explain what you learned, how you learned it, and what difference that has made in your life.

Learning how to communicate effectively is still a process for me. Most people look at me like I am the “high functioning blogger” and can communicate very well. Actually I have a lot of communication issues. I really am Autistic and really am disabled. I may have learned to accommodate myself, but it does not make me any less Autistic, nor does that fact that I am also gifted.

I don’t communicate effectively under pressure situations or when I need to talk to someone about when I am being bullied. Some people may say I can be passive-aggressive, but actually I shut down from a sensory meltdown. I get sensory meltdowns a lot. I don’t like being in crowded, noisy places for long periods of time, however sometimes I have no choice. I push myself to communicate, but it does not come naturally. I have a big problem reading body language as many of you may already know, and a lot of times people can’t read my own body language. I have a difficult time focusing on a person talking to me because of my auditory processing issues as well. I am still trying to figure out how I can listen to someone’s words without the other person getting upset that I am not processing what they said to me. In any case, a lot of bullies have taken advantage of this issue I have.

I am not face-blind, but it takes me a long time to get to know someone’s own name. Even though I recognize the faces of people, a lot of times I worry too much about getting the names right. My motto of “Move Forward” has become signature for me as to remind me not to worry about what goes on and just define who I am by pushing myself forward. By pushing myself forward, I start to communicate better. Does this make me less Autistic? No it does not. I have had speech delay and didn’t talk with my family until I was around 4 years old. I started speech therapy at the age of 2. I stim a lot at my home and sometimes need to control myself from stimming in public.

When people talk about the “low functioning and high functioning” Autistics, they need to realize the similarities. Some parents of Autistic people, need to understand how an Autistic person interacts with the world in order to understand how the Autistic can communicate more effectively.

Communicating effectively with the rest of society is something everyone has to do, to be able to interact positively. Otherwise no one will know what or how the person may be feeling inside. In any case, the motto ‘Move Forward’ I have formulated for myself is a great prompt for anyone to repeat as they are moving along a street, a presentation, or even bumping into an ordinary person to have a conversation with. Sometimes the communication exchange can be long or sometimes it is just a quick ‘hello, how are you?’. In a nutshell, it is the feeling of communication even by the waving of one’s own hand to say ‘hello’. I have met many different Autistics, many verbal and many non-verbal, and sometimes I have learned that there are some parents of Autistic people who just give up on their children wanting to institutionalize them for life. Should this be the answer? Of course not!

We are the people too, and there is no reason for closed minded thinking of institutionalization. Autistic people whether you consider them “higher functioning” or you consider them “lower functioning” all come from the state of mind, being different in the way we think. Autistic people just need a mentor, teacher, or friend to help them with their difficulties. It takes a long time to learn to relate to and communicate with others effectively, but in the end it will be well worth it for the Autistic person who learned from a friend, mentor, or teacher.

By learning communication skills, an Autistic person can be more of an effective person who ‘Moves Forward’! By the way, I am finally going to try the dating thing to see if it works for me. I started a Jdate profile! We’ll see what happens…

OUT, J

Connections Help to Inspire Us!

Creative play is important because it builds critical thinking, imagination, and connecting with another human being. The media’s portrayal in society creates a sense that we will lose those skills in our children in the future because they will be repeating things and not really interacting to connect in real time. The media also portrays false beliefs too. Ableism is a tactic the media has always used to stigmatize and promote fear interacting with certain people. There is no reason people should be disqualified from wanting to interact with someone even if they are different than they are. Connecting with the people we want to be around heals us, but most importantly family was created for us to begin this means of connecting to heal whether it is with a person or animal. I have learned that not every one has had the family life I fortunately have and I met other people who met people they feel are their family instead of their genetic family. Family is important!! The family you choose whether from birth or from your life, will give you the direction you need to go and making the connections we so desperately need when we don’t want to be alone. However those connections we have are just a valuable piece of our life. The rest of our life is trying to make peace within ourselves to live comfortably in solitude because eventually we cross over by ourselves anyway after we are old and gray.

Society is structured now in a way that promotes the media to affect our life, trying to tell us how to eat, how to sleep, how to even think. However we need to be able to think outside the box critically and connect to others in real time. There is too much negative stigma in the media, lot’s of promotions of fears toward certain people, and not enough showing of love toward one another especially toward the disability community. This has got to change. We need to change the way the media thinks about the disability community by not treating Autistic people or any other disability population like we are incapable of living like the rest of the world.

Is virtual reality supposed to be bad? Well, no it’s not, but the virtual games show too much disconnect to others.
I feel that it’s the media’s negative hype that creates a disconnect in love, for so many people.

Connections are so important for our well-being and wholeheartedly builds our self-esteem. It strengthens our mind, let’s our spirit grow more, enables us to eat, exercise, and sleep better at night. It not only does these things, but when we are alone to reflect in solitude, we are able to peacefully think about the positive creative ideas we all can make. Connections matter and in real time!

Feeling out of place, lonely without connections in real time, and watching the media’s ideas only disconnects us and hurts us in the end. Not saying we should not watch the media, but we should limit how much we are attached to the media. However if the media changes their tactics, things will be different.

I am lucky enough to have had a good solid foundation from my parents about connecting which has helped me a lot and still does. I just hope the adults of tomorrow or the children of today are able to enjoy creative play now without the media’s help. It’s important to let someone connect with someone else without feeling judged or even bullied.

OUT, J

Some People Just Don’t Get It, How to begin Opening Minds of Closed-Minded People?

I have unfortunately been in the presence of so many closed-minded people who just don’t get it. A lot of these people do work for Vocational Rehabilitation centers run by the government too, educational settings, in employment situations, in government, and even people who just walk down the street. Is it possible to teach these people who are unwilling to learn and think it’s fine to be closed minded? Not sure about that.

I find it hard to believe that people can be so closed minded and judgmental when it comes to the “disabled” population. Disability is a tough situation and can be rough for any one to live with when we come in contact with a person who just does not get it. The person could be much older than us or younger, it just does not matter, a person who does not get it, just doesn’t understand.

I hear some people say that just by saying the word “Special Needs” with regards to disability is still is not good. However, people all over who have a disability deserve the respect they see fit and should be called whatever they want to be called without disrespecting even if they like saying they have “Special Needs”. If someone does not want to acknowledge their disability, they have every right to be called a person with a ______ disability. However, if a person does acknowledge their disability, feel proud, and accepts every part of themselves including the disability, they have every right to be called _______ person. For instance, a person with autism or an Autistic person or a person with Aspergers or an Aspie. Another situation is, a person who is gay or a gay person which also leads into a person who is heterosexual or a Heterosexual person. Another one is person with no sexual interest or an Asexual person. You can probably think of more with regards to race, gender, transgender, religious beliefs or some people don’t believe in any faith (Atheist). However, when it comes to gender, most people just say their gender. There are so many different ways a person can be called, but every one has every right to be called however they see themselves. You can not define the way anyone is without asking the person how they define themselves. One final thought about that is you can not get angry if the person does not like to be called what you want them to be called. No one can judge someone’s ability to succeed by how they define themselves to begin with.

Acceptance of who a person is, is a very important thing to acknowledge. So, why can’t there be acceptance of that? There are too many people in the world who are Closed-minded who define themselves as the “Expert”, however to be a true expert, you must be open minded, learning constantly, asking questions, and accepting the way a person wants to be called depending on the person.

There are so many ways in which we define ourselves and we all have many different labels. Be proud of who you are and what you can do to succeed in your success in your life. Don’t let any one else define you, but you. Think about how you want to be defined and how you see yourself. Remember the glass is always full with the air we breathe. Nothing is ever empty because matter is always forming in different ways.

We are all made of the light within us that truly sparks us as we live and as we eventually move on passed being alive. Defining ourselves is an important part of what we need to do and finding our niche to our successes!

OUT, J

One last post for New Year’s 2013, It is Here and upon us now!!!!

2012 is behind me. There were Very good things that happened, and there were not so good things that happened. I am so proud of myself for have worked a job for the Autism Science Foundation’s Adult with ASD survey to improve services for Autistic adults. It was a tough job, but I worked hard and did it. I feel accomplished, I feel proud, and I am feel I am moving forward with my life.

2012 is behind me and the latter half of the year gave me much Joy with my job with Autism Science Foundation. I am ready for a 2013 feeling even better!!!

2013 will have it’s ups (and downs too), but if we focus on what we want to look forward to, we’ll be A-Okay. I will be the man I want to become, have the woman I want, and develop my self-empowerment with much gain to my advantage. I am a superstar spiritually because in a nutshell we all are superstars, we just have to believe in it ourselves. Being Humble is what makes us Hum-an. It’s what keeps us on our toes by staying grounded. It’s a feeling that makes us the best by not only helping ourselves, but by helping others also. Which by the way I am on the Board of Community Alliance for the Ethical Treatment of Youth (CAFETY) and feel proud to be volunteering my time to help them achieve their goals as well. Advocacy and activism is so important!!

Thank you 2012 for starting a future for me that will help give me the self-determination that my mother always instructed me in the past to become. I found so much gain in 2012, that the heartache of this past year fades away so quickly. Life often teaches us lessons. Those lessons instruct us over and over again and eventually testing us. If we fail the test, we keep on taking it again until we pass it. I have grown. I still have my life to live and more tests to take. However, I am guaranteed to pass it with the self-determination to finish with style, grace, and humility. Eventually I will be older, wiser, and teaching what I have learned in the past. When my time is eventually up, I will feel proud to give myself up. For now I am in my thirties still learning the lessons I need to learn to live and grow my spirit the way I want to be remembered.

Things happen for a reason, but I believe it’s all in good faith!

(By the way, I just saw the movie Silver Lining with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper and it was a truly great love story filled with self-determination to beat the struggles in life. I highly recommend anyone who wants to, to see the movie, Silver Lining)

OUT, J