A poem called ‘Don’t Be Afraid and tell it like it is’

(Warning: This poem may be triggering. It is about internalized ableism. It is also about the experiences I have had with a wide variety of people throughout my life)

Don’t BE Afraid and tell it like it is,
By theamazinJ

Shut UP
Stop telling me what is good for me
ONLY I know what is good for me
BECAUSE I know best for myself
I don’t like your attitude
I don’t like your shit
I don’t like your abuse
I don’t want your aggressive behaviors toward me
I feel I need to stand up
I feel I need to speak up
Though, not in a aggressive way
BUT
I need to SPEAK UP and get my voice heard
I need to tell people who:
Manipulate
Make me feel dependent on them
Make me feel like a fool
Make me feel less than human
Make feel like a jerk
Make me feel like an ASSHOLE
And
Don’t RESPECT me
That
I AM MORE THAN WHAT THEY THINK
That
I am more than what they say
And
That
I am more than what they do to me
I AM A PERSON
I AM NOT DEPENDENT ON YOUR NEEDS
I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
AND
I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST
The BEST as all the rest
THE ONE who feels RESPECTED
LIKE all the rest
The ONE who every one won’t push around
And
The ONE I CAN BE AS I CAN BE
NO ONE IS GOD
NO ONE IS PERFECT
Everyone IS a PERSON
INCLUDING ME
I HAVE MY STRENGTH
I HAVE MY DIGNITY
I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE
THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE
That I AM PASSIVE
AND
CAN’T GET MY VOICE HEARD
BECAUSE
I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT
I CAN’T GET MY VOICE HEARD
I WAS ALWAYS TAUGHT
WHATEVER I say is always INVALIDATED
And
WHATEVER I say makes me CRAZY
INSANE and NOT WORTH LISTENING TO
HOWEVER
I AM NOT CRAZY
I AM NOT INSANE
I AM WORTH LISTENING TO
AND I MAKE PERFECT SENSE
PLEASE
LISTEN TO MY VOICE
PLEASE
LISTEN TO EVERY WORD
I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT
ANYMORE
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT
STOP YOUR RHETORIC
STOP TRYING TO FIND CAUSES AND CURES
I AM AUTISTIC
AND
PROUD OF IT
THIS is ME
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT
BUT DON’T TELL ME WHO I NEED TO BE
AND
DON’T TELL ME I AM NOT MYSELF
BECAUSE I AM AUTISTIC
AND
BEING AUTISTIC is PART OF MY IDENTITY
AND
I AM NOT GOING TO CHANGE
JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE WHO I AM
SHOVE YOUR OPINIONS IN THE TRASH CAN
AND
PLEASE ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM
AND
DON’T TELL ME I CAN’T
And DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN DO
I KNOW ME BETTER THAN YOU
because I am built from
how the creator made me
AND
I KNOW BEST WHAT I NEED TO DO or SAY
I DON’T NEED YOU TO TELL ME WHO I AM
I WILL ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE
When I need to ask
So
PLEASE STOP and THINK
AS
I AM TAKING A STAND
AS A DISABLED PERSON
AND
AS AN AUTISTIC PERSON
Who is PROUD OF ME
And MY AUTISTIC community
There is no more sorry’s
And no more feeling passive
I am going to say how I feel
And
Whether you like it or not
I AM going to say it.
YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT
BUT
I AM NOT QUESTIONING MYSELF ANYMORE
I am just going to LIVE and continue to
BE PROUD OF WHO I AM!
NOTHING ABOUT US, WITHOUT US…

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